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Philrad71 does Indiana (a soft porn)


Philrad71

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Thanks for the comments guys...most appreciated!

 

Now on to more IB photos!

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Anyone know if there is a subliminal meaning behind the one lower case i in INDiANA?

 

This really bothered me all day.

 

I really wanted to ask a park attendant, but I would have felt like a fool, so I just held it in.

Doc says that's not good for me though & if I die from the stress of not knowing, I'll look back with nothing but regret.

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Well, I have never wheeled before and have always been curious...so, why not enter here and see what happens?

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Oh, I guess I HAVE wheeled before...just never with this one. And don't worry...just because your under-carriage is a bit rusty doesn't mean that you can't still give a great ride...you big old wheel, you!

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If track is your crack, here's your fix for today!

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Speaking of crack, this is the floor of our gondola...yikes!

 

I think I was having severe land withdrawl at this point.

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Please, please tell me that this broken zip-tie serves no useful purpose...like holding in that rusty, important old-looking nut right above it!

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Also please tell me that this pipe is not supposed to be fully threaded into the female end. And is that rusty mating connection above it supposed to serve any purpose???

 

This is normal, right...........right?

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Luckily the nice views of the lake kept me from suffering a severe panic attack in regards to the safety of Wheel. I am not sure if I will ever ride Wheel again because I am not so sure if he practices safe....oh, never mind.

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Looks like some nice houses on the other side of the lake....and not a stalk of corn as far as the eye can see.

 

Awwww....but ain't that America for you and me...

Ain't that America, somethin' to see, baby...

Ain't that America....home of the freeeeeyeeeaaah....

_____ ____ ______ __ __ _ __

Fill in the blanks of the song above and be the first to name the artist to win an "atta boy (or girl)" from me for knowing 80's pop culture & also for knowing one of Indiana's most popular & influential pop/rock recording artists of all time - no fair if you're from Indiana though!

 

I'd offer a bag'o'crap, but mine wouldn't be as nice as Robb & Elissa's and I don't know this Dan fella some of you speak of, so I won't ask you to E-mail him the answer either.

 

Did I mention that I was having an 80's flashback when I visited this park?

 

Okay, just checkin'...NEXT!

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Back on terra firma we were finally able to watch someone get eaten by one of those pikes. They come right out of the water & do tricks...just like them blackfish do!

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If getting your limbs eaten off by a pike isn't your thing, perhaps you'd like to get sucked on by a carp? What I mean by that is that they might suck on your finger if you were to put it in the water. If you were thinking anything but that, you have a very, very dirty mind!

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The Den of Lost Thieves is an old dark ride converted into one of them ride-thru electronic shootin' galleries. My partner gloated heavily because this was the first time he had ever beaten me on one of these types of rides....BOOOOO!!!!!

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I looked up Galaxi and found out that there are only a handful of these left in the world and that the manufacturer (SDC) went bankrupt in '93. Must have explained the worn out heels on the tennis shoes of the ride op's in order to bring the car to a complete stop - no spare brake parts to buy anymore. SCRRREEEEEETCCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

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...and then I damn near got caught cuz my beeper kept beeping.

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And I will leave you with the biggest, the longest & the klassiest 'Bench - The Ride' in the entire midwestern United States...if not, the world! You have got to ride this beast to believe it!

 

Many thanks for reading...and yes, there is still much more lunacy to come!

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^ Thanks, but I hope that my goofy TR didn't influence that decision in any way. I think this park needs all the support it can get from enthusiasts and tourists and I certainly wouldn't want to dissuade anyone's interest in going as I REALLY enjoyed this park!

 

I honestly wasn't scared on the wheel by any means, but found those observations a bit...interesting to say the least!

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Been a while since I have had enough time to post more photos, but here we go with even more Indiana Beach!

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Did you know that back in the day, IB was a hot bed for up and coming artists like Sonny & Cher, Bill Haley and his Comets & Louis Armstrong as well as Frank Zappa & The Yardbirds? Those are some pretty big names!

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It's hard to imagine some of these bands like The Who and Simon & Garfunkle playing here in the 60's and 70's.

 

...and don't even get me going on REO Speedwagon - FAIL!

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Microphone check...check...check.

 

Could you imagine watching Jerry Lee Lewis performing 'Great Balls of Fire' on his piano onstage...with his toes? Or watching a young Jimmy Page, Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck belt out songs here before they were even famous?

 

This is some major nostalgia here, folks!

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Fun fact - the inspiration from Pinball Wizard came after The Who played Indiana Beach.

 

The more you know...

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Maybe this is why the park is suffering for attendance...it's just too hard for people to have to walk up a set of stairs to get to a ride anymore?

 

And there's no separate scooter entrance or an elevator? For shame!

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Flying Bobs were posing nude today. Looked like some major repairs going on.

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This one also looked like it needed some TLC.

 

Perhaps this old fella fell onto some hard times after being dumped for 1001 Nachts?

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Merry-Go-Round shoe-horned right inside the coaster tracks. I assume that the coasters were actually built around the MGR?

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Other kiddie rides sitting right under the coaster loading platform. That tiger probably would have given me horrific nightmares for weeks if I would have seen that as a child.

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Old school shooting gallery...loved all of these retro games and rides.

 

Notice the Whak-A-Mole game to the left...the close cousin of Whac-A-Mole.

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Had to end the day with a couple of their famous tacos. While not the best I have ever had, certainly not the worst. I liked the fact that they put Mexican Cotija (I think) cheese on there versus the traditional American cheddar. Piled with hot sauce, they were actually pretty tasty.

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Also tried a bacon sauerkraut and bacon sauerkraut with jalapeno hot dog. These were not very good, but the nice older ladies at the booth were good enough to concoct these for us as we made our way out of the park near closing time.

 

Still even MORE Indiana Beach coming up...have you had enough yet? ;-)

 

Thanks for reading!

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^Thanks!

 

I have some more photos of IB...this time from a paddlewheel boat ride on the lake at sunset.

 

Care to join us?

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Who's ready to ride the Shafer Queen?

 

I thought about asking the captain if he was the real Shafer Queen, but thought he might toss me overboard or something....he looked like a butch older guy, but that's never a bad thing, is it? Well, okay...maybe for lil ole me only!

 

"Go ahead and handle me then, big ole Captain Brute!" ;-)

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This boat looked like it split apart at the seams...yeah, that's all I got for this one.

 

Except....

maybe...

a....

 

 

KAWWWW!!!!

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Actually that last pic wasn't The Shafer Queen, but her partner: The Shafer Diva.

 

I know, I know...my captions are starting to get a little ummmm...lame at this point in the game.

 

Feel perfectly free to ignore my comments an only look at them there purdy lookin' rolley coasters-n-rides.

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Is this what real seamen call the rear-end pusher?

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Let's shove off to sail the high seas, matey!

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Bye-bye Indiana Beach!

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So long Hoosier Hurricane and Wheel 'O' Hot Death!

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Some pretty nice houses on ole Lake Shafer.

 

Is that thing on the right a deck dock, dock deck or a hickory dickory dock?

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I wonder if this used to be Peyton's Place?

 

I guess it wasn't the home of Bobby Knight because he didn't come out and throw a chair at us.

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Credits....so....far.......away!

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Some really fantastic, romantic views at sunset.

 

I think the captain and his hand were a bit flustered when they saw me with my arm around my partner....or perhaps even a bit envious? ;-)

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Coming back in for a landing (or if you prefer - docking). I prefer docking myself.

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Who can not love this park and it's beautiful location? If you don't, then you must be some kind of catty old shrew....so shame on you...shame, I say!

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Panorama...awesome word because it sounds like Bananarama and who doesn't like Bananarama? Wait, let me change that...who, over the age of 35 doesn't like Bananarama?

 

Here I go again with my 80's references again!

 

And I assume that I stumped people with my fill in the blanks trivia question earlier in the report?

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One final shot at dusk.

 

Can you believe I still have even MORE pictures?

 

Anyone care to see them or should I just ride off into my sunset now? ;-)

 

 

Thanks again for checking out my merry little report!

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Cool report and a fun read. Lots of areas of IB (and Indiana in general for that matter) that I haven't seen in other PTR's. I'd like to get out to the mid-west and try all these weird parks out, they all seem like something out of a strange white parson time warp!

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^ Hehe...I should let Chris respond back, but I think he means the overall retro-ness of IB and the fact that these parks are in the middle of nowhere in corn country. And I would think that my 80's references and oddball commentary would certainly put me in the strange white person category, I suppose.

 

Although I'm pretty sure that 'parson' was a typo & was meant to be 'person' as that would be a little odd to be saying the Indiana parks are like a strange white priest of an independent parish church.

 

 

Thanks for the comments everyone...I'm glad that you like the reports.

 

More to come real soon!

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^LOL....me too! Throw in some Go-Go's and you've really got yourself a real party!

 

Wow...I think I could be down to the last set of pics from IB.

 

You guys ready to hit it?

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The next morning, I walked the park before it opened. Cool thing is that they don't fence it in, so you can just walk around as you please!

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Does this photo make this trip report officially gay now?

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Nary a soul to be had.

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Flying Bobs - still in the raw.

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The ghouls are sleeping now after a hard night of partying - "Go away or we'll haunt your soul FOREVAHHHHH!"

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Words cannot describe how bizarrely awesome this ride is! If you ever needed a reason to get to Indiana, use this as your motivation.

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This splash battle is themed better than a lot of Six Flags or Cedar Fair attractions.

 

True or False?

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Something tells me that they are not going to tear this attraction out to build a forward/backward kiddie coaster themed to fire.

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After the condition of Wheel, I decided to pass on the Skycoaster.

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Park map touting the Pronto Pup...where those earlier funky hot dogs came from.

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Dr.Funkenstein's Castle with train tracks to nowhere...when did they close the train, and why? Inquiring minds want to know!

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Water, water everywhere and all the boards did shrink.

 

Water, water everywhere...nor any drop to drink.

 

Another 80's reference or a segment of the world's longest poem?

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I was bummed that the flyers were down the entire time we were there. That would have been awesome riding these out over the water!

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Tiggrrrrrrr's Den is looking a little ghetto these days.

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Now is this soft porn, or not?

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Knocking out 80 calories to ride a roller coaster is the way to go...more parks should do this.

 

Make people exercise before they ride, damn it!

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Log flume tunnel of love.

 

I wonder how many kisses were stolen in this Millennium Force-esque tunnel while 'Mack the Knife' played on the loudspeakers?

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Steel Hawg was just all sorts of whacky-n-funky....

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From the crazy loop-de-loops & beyond vertical drop...

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...to the Orange County Choppers-type name & logo.

 

Indiana Beach...you totally ROCK ME!!!!

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Hey wait, what's this?

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That's what he (or she, if you're straight) said...

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Best coaster of 2013 (for wussies, maybe).

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If you want to rock Cedar Point, you need to be at one with Mantis.

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Majestic, soothing....it was like riding a graceful bird. Until said bird digs it's talons into your breastbone at the end of the ride!

 

And this concludes our show for tonight folks...

 

A little bit of claps...

And I'mma get my shit together boy

Aww yeah! Gonna, gonna, aww yeah

Gonna get it together

Everybody, gonna get it together

Can you hear me one time? Fo' yo' mind

Aww yeah {*whistling*}

 

Okay, that's it for the night folks...

It's good to hear y'all out there

Come back next week

We'll have some sheets for ya

Remember on your way home

If you're drivin, don't drink

And if you drink.....don't drive...

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Woah didn't expect GateKeeper hahaha...

 

Does this photo make this trip report officially gay now?

 

Yep

 

Great trip report! I love the GateKeeper segment at the end!

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^ Hehe....snuck those photos in there as that was where our trip ended. We met my family there and stayed two days before heading home...it really was an awesome trip and something I had been wanting to do for years!

 

Glad you enjoyed my merry lil' report!

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^ And SDC is on my bucket list as well as a lot of the parks in the mid-west...all of which I hope to possibly visit this summer!

 

I would definitely recommend visiting IB just for the old school charm more than anything else. While definitely not Dollywood or Cedar Point, it just has a unique charm that I really liked.

 

I hope that they can sustain and keep the park going for several more years as I would hate to see it fall into a major state of neglect or end up like Conneaut Lake - just barely hanging on by a thread.

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