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Director_Guy's Halloween Adventures


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My favorite time of year has come and this year wasn't short on adventures (both excellent and bogus). As the warm summer nights give way to the cold bitter winters, it seems to put a spike in people's adrenaline. They seek out thrills and scares, accelerating their hearts, making them feel more alive. I've always felt that Halloween is a very important piece in our culture; allowing us to deal with our own mortality, our personal identities, and eat MOUNTAINS OF CANDY.

 

But I'll get to the candy.

 

For now, we go to a quiet evening in late September. The moon was full, the air was clear, and the hairs on the back of my neck had just begun to prickle.

 

Part I - Halloween Horror Nights

Part II - Fright Fest

Part III - Mickey's Halloween Party

 

 

 

Part I: Halloween Horror Nights

 

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This was me. The old me. Which is ironically the young me. I suspect I was feeling a little upset after getting frisked by security at the main gates.

 

This was before I learned about...

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The early entry line! This was seriously great. Using this, we did ALL of the mazes. What a life saver.

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Austin and Diandra shot themselves in the face. They were disappointed to learn the HHN serves no alcohol.

 

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The gates were open and we were on our way to the lower lot.

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Austin and Diandra enjoyed their time on the Starway by doing couple things.

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"I'm all alone!"

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The trams came very promptly and we were whisked off to the backlot.

 

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"You want us to ride in that thing? You're braver than I thought."

 

The ride over was nice. Breezy but brief. Then, they let us off.

 

The chaos had begun.

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This lady was CLEARLY having a great time.

 

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The Walking Dead was our first maze. It was pretty awesome. Great scares and some GREATER sets. I love how they got the "second story" into that prison.

 

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I always feel like somebody's watching me...

 

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We caught the tram back to the lower lot after finishing the mazes. Sabbath was pretty cool.

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This was their idea of a scarezone and it was pretty underwhelming. The actors they had were doing great with what they work with, but it's all kind of a mess down there.

 

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It was fun to see these folks entertaining other folks in the queue for Insidious. I think every maze should get something like this. It's like a preshow.

 

We then got a locker and put all our stuff in it and went on all the rides. I have no pictures, but I think it went a little something like this...

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After the rides, we headed up to the Yooper Lot, eh? We finished off the mazes with El Cucuy.

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We must've beat everyone because there was NOBODY on the upper lot.

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This maze was great. I think it might have been my favorite this year. Great storytelling, especially since I have no context (not Latino).

 

Austin, who has a Latina girlfriend, was given plenty of context.

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This is the look of context.

 

We all felt a hunger that

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Pinks would have to do.

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How have I never eaten Pink's before?! This wiener is fantastic in my mouth! So good, I won't apologize for that double-entendre!

 

Then it was time to work off all of those lovely calories...

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by laughing!

 

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This year's show was filled with immature jokes, dated references, and the worst misappropriation of fantastic characters. Just like every year. And I love it. Every year.

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Bill and Ted is an enigma because it's not well written at all, but at the same time it is thoroughly enjoyable. It's exactly what it tells you it is and has no pretense about it.

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Empty seats? Maybe they all went to go complain about being offended.

 

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Terror Tram didn't seem like our style this year, so we walked around and enjoyed the sights.

 

This, of course, means a montage of pictures I took for the hell of it.

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This guy was really on that night. Chasin' folks with a chainsaw.

 

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Guys seriously! There are children present!

 

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It was a nice walk around the park. I loved seeing people getting scared and even got scared a few times by some sinister spooks!

It was great.

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That is, until this ax wielding maniac chased us out of the park!

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We made it out safely, but not before promising to return again next year.

 

Part II coming soon.

Edited by Director_Guy
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Austin and Diandra shot themselves in the face. They were disappointed to learn the HHN serves no alcohol.

This just still continues to amaze me. With the absolutely BATSHITCRAZY amount of alcohol in the Orlando park, and it seems like it's more and more every year, I'm just SHOCKED that Hollywood has not figured out a way to cash in on it.

 

I guess Orlando is picking up the slack?

 

--Robb "Nice report as usual!" Alvey

Edited by robbalvey
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  • 3 weeks later...

Well, the plan is to get this done before Thanksgiving, so let's get started...

 

 

Part II: Fright Fest

 

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This is the first Fright Fest I've been to since being a scare-actor at Six Flags Great America. Let's see how it goes!

 

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My cousin James and his gal Sarah joined me in this Halloween adventure. Once again, I'm the third wheel.

 

No complaints though, 'cause coasters!!

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We spent most of the morning riding most of the coasters. I left my camera in the car and grabbed it after we got lunch.

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The spooky decorations set the tone for things to come.

 

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We went on a really good day, there was rarely a line for anything.

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James was just as surprised as you.

 

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More fun decorations. Can't wait!

 

For whatever reason, we skipped Apocalypse our first round trip of the park, so we hopped in "line" for it.

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I have "line" in quotes because it was a literal walk on.

 

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Sarah attempts to pass off a wicked smile. Even sadder, James is trying to do the same thing.

 

For whatever reason, I thought this coaster looked better in black and white.

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I think I was right.

 

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They still have a Terminator in the gift shop.

 

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The sun is setting! Almost time for frights!

 

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Oh man! I forgot about Full Throttle. We rode it first thing in the morning and it surprised the hell out of me. I thought, originally, this would be a pretty gimmicky coaster, but I was amazed how fun it is! The lapbar only makes it so awesome, I thought I might literally come out of the seat.

 

We wanted to hit it again, but the line got too crazy.

 

We made our way up the hill. And as darkness fell across the land, a thick fog began to spread.

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Fright Fest.

 

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Our first maze was this one.

Definitely enjoyable.

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This fella' was mighty scary! He had a rat.

 

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Some people even mentioned we look alike... strange.

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Family resemblance?

 

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Well, we didn't have time to conduct any paternity test because we were chased away by this demon thing.

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We took refuge in the queue for Gold Rusher.

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I gotta say, this ride is very different without the log ride.

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Even the classics can be dangerous! This one came without warning.

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Everywhere we turned there was a monster or zombie ready to pursue us. Points definitely go to Six Flags for just filling the park with these guys.

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This maze turned out to be my favorite of the night, actually. I've forgotten all of their names, unfortunately.

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The minute we walk in, the fog is laid on thick. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, let alone where I'm going. Then it gets pitch black. There's no scares, just this. And it's awesome. Then we walk out into this big arena where things are blowing up...

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...and buildings are crumbling.

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It was fantastic. I was very impressed.

 

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James insisted that we'd ride the scrambler and the bumper cars. They were quite fun, I must admit.

 

In return, I got to pick the next one.

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This guy was threatening to ride with us! Probably so he could eat us at the top. Food tastes better at a higher altitude.

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This is what happens when Gumby handles a hand grenade.

 

After a long night, we made our way toward the exit. It was getting pretty cold.

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Oh.... nice fountain.

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whatthe...

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AHHH!

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Demon Face.

 

And that's it. Fright Fest actually exceeded my expectations and I had a great time. I'll definitely come back next year.

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My last Halloween adventure for this year is our trip to Disneyland found in Part III, coming soon.

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  • 2 weeks later...

J man - Thanks! Next one coming up now!

 

Jew - My thoughts exactly! It really challenged my expectations.

 

Part III: Mickey's Halloween Party

 

 

The time has come for our favorite Halloween event! Disneyland! The only place child-like adults can dress up and have harmless holiday fun.

 

And yes, you should be jealous of our awesome costumes...

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Okay, that's enough. Let's get to the theme park now!

 

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We met our pal Austin, who was a Ghostbuster for the third year in a row, at Disneyland.

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Here, we waited a long, long time for Diandra to show up.

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The ecto-goggles were lost so this had to suffice.

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Megan made the awesome choice to shave part of her head for this costume.

 

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At last, Diandra arrived dressed as Fred Krueger. Unfortunately, she had no time to put on her burn scars.

 

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Our group was now all together and we finally made it into the park.

 

Only to learn of this unfortunate event.

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We were all very disappointed. This was something we looked forward to as a part of the event and it didn't feel quite the same without it. Oh well.

 

We were still doing pretty good, though. Didn't seem to be many lines yet.

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The ghostbutser showed off his lightning fast reflexes while we were leaving Indy.

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"I don't want to alarm you... but there's GHOSTS in this haunted mansion."

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"I ain't afraid of no ghost."

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Turns out, the PKE Meter was just going off because of Freddy.

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It was REALLY going off in Freddy's boiler room.

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"How sweet. Fresh meat."

 

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This park looks great for Halloween.

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Even The Mouse's were out trick 'r treating.

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"I think they're looking at us. Let's get 'em...."

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"...on this ride and enjoy ourselves!"

 

The Matterhorn was a low moment for the night. The ride was as enjoyable as usual, but that also means it was as rough as usual and we had a few casualties.

 

Earlier in the night, Megan decided to place her cell phone in her gun holster.

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Which held up until, you guessed it, The Matterhorn. But we didn't know it yet. It took a ride on Space Mountain to find that out. The excellent folks at Space looked in every train that went by (not knowing they would never find it there). They were kind enough to call the other mountain for us and they had it! It worked out well, but it was not a pleasant half hour.

 

Not only that, but Freddy lost a finger!

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Poor Fred. How's she supposed to kill teenagers now?!

 

But worst of ALL, I lost my bag of candy! Matterhorn did NOT like us that night!

 

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Like I mentioned, Ghost Galaxy was next.

 

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One ghostbuster meets another!

 

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"Did you take my candy?!"

 

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Look at the excitement on their faces. They have no idea how unpleasant it's about to get.

 

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Which way is up?!

 

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Turns out, I was Freddy the whole time!

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"Whatever you say. Too hungry to argue."

 

Austin then felt like he needed to get something off his chest.

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In reality, he just wanted to ride Indy again.

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What is with these lines?! It's amazing!

 

We then saw this killer sword that was just lying around and no one was watching. So, we tried to steal it.

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Our plan failed.

 

Around then, the night was dying down.

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The park had closed and people were headed home.

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But we had to get one last visit in with the Halloween tree.

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Man, I need to get me one of these trees.

 

It was a long night but incredibly fun.

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We had many ups and downs, sugar highs and lows, and enough pictures not to remember any of it. It was a fantastic evening. Of course nothing could prepare us for...

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The drive home.

 

 

And so concludes my Halloween adventures. My favorite time of year comes and goes so quickly, but always leaves me with a smile.

 

Until next time.

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The End

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