cfc Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) Chapter 5: Hard Rock Park China?-- Victory Kingdom and Random Credit Whoring Victory Kingdom, TPR's next stop and last "major" park before pushing on to Chendu, brought to mind Hard Rock/Freestyle Music Park in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. How, you may ask? 1. Flat expanses with no shade at all 2. An odd location that seemed to be, despite the presence of numerous apartment buildings, the middle of nowhere 3. Total surprise if it lasts more than one or two years Now, to give Hard Rock credit, it was the better themed of the two--and at least you understood what the theme was. The only part-finished Victory Kingdom, despite the indications of "themed" areas on its map, was just a random assortment of rides plunked down on grass and concrete. (Perhaps a better name would be "Themed Sign Kingdom." The park had plenty of those, if very little actual theming to go with them.) This was a park with an identity crisis--hell, its original name was "Triumph Kingdom." In fact, it had just opened a few months before the TPR trip. The park had two coasters operating. Well, "operating" is a relative term in China. The Golden Horse SLC knock off did, indeed, operate; but the Spinning Mouse, despite what we were told at the main gate, did not. Fortunately, Robb and Elissa had found many "bonus credits" for this trip--another great reason to travel with TPR. We hit up a few of those after spending a few hours at Victory Kingdom. To be fair, if you were into flat rides, Victory Kingdom had some good ones--along with a soaker of a splashboat. I just hope they can get their other rides (for example, an Intamin Half-Pipe) up and running soon. Here's a look at our last day in the vicinity of Beijing--and it's another beautiful one. "Victory" over what, one wonders? Common sense? Expectations of profit? Or just shamble around like a zombie. The choice is yours. Here are the "themed" areas. There was no Blackhawk Helicopter Ride "In Somalia." Ah, at last! A place to dispose of that annoying "organism" I've been carrying around! Pegasus claims its first victim of the day. Victory Kingdom does have an impressive entrance plaza. But this guy seemed a bit out of place there. Er . . . oops? The knock-off SLC wasn't open yet, but the mouse was supposed to be. Or not. We did wait in "civilized comity" to see what would happen. Nope--another Golden Horse Spinning Mouse denied! The single most common coaster in China! I blame the wrath of the vengeful ghost of Saddam Hussein . . . . . . working through the president of Iran! "Despair not, o ye enthusiasts! Victory may be yours yet!" Well, here's a wee bit of theming, anyway. Of course, it doesn't suggest old Tombstone or Deadwood as much as those residential/retail developments that have been sprouting like weeds in the southeastern U.S. OK, who wants to ride the Half-Pipe? Then come back in a few months, I guess. Their car ride needs a few finishing touches, too. They haven't even finished unwrapping this one yet. Uh oh! Looks like some "Nemesis" theming is sprouting in a kids play area! Eventually, we made our way to the one ride that was actually open. Doesn't that water look inviting? Foolhardy or courageous? With TPR, there is no difference! Those who have chosen to remain dry and disease free salute you. My. That's a big one! Gotta love the backwash. "Victory is ours!" To get to the Golden Horse knock-off SLC, one must first pass "Through In Infinite." (I'm sure the Doors, Yes, and the Moody Blues have a song about this.) "Hello--I'm Barry White, the 1970s king of soul, and I'd like to welcome you to pure passion." "My coaster is so, so yellow . . . . . . and so, so sexy. Especially if you like it rough, baby. Oh, yeah." "Who is this Barry White fellow, and why does he keep growling so soulfully into my ear?" "Hey, relax." "Just go with the flow of the soul . . ." (OK, that's enough Barry White stuff.) I'm glad that Victory Kingdom recognizes the importance of having a place for "stuff." Why, it could be the "stuff dreams are made of," but being as this is in the bathroom, I rather doubt it. As I said eariler, to be fair, Victory Kingdom did have a few good flat rides. And many of the group took advantage of them. More to come from here and elsewhere. Edited October 18, 2012 by cfc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voxelmatic Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 I love this trip report! I assume you chose to stay dry and non-diseased, along with your Barry White songs? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 18, 2012 Author Share Posted October 18, 2012 (edited) ^I did, indeed. There's still a bit more from Victory Kingdom--along with some other credit whoring! Are you quivering with excitement yet? You should be! Oh dear lord . . . I think "Nanfang" is Mandarin for "Chuck will not ride this." Lauren and Cheryl are devil-may-care and ready to rock! But Brian is contemplative while appealing to a higher power to save him (possibly Jeebus). My thoughts and prayers go with ye! As I recall, the flat-ride fans in the group gave this ride pretty high marks. Here's some of the klassy merchandise you can buy at Victory Kingdom. Homer says to kiss his communist butt, yankee dog! Cute--in a creepy, Chairman Mao way. If you've reached this point, squat toilets are looking pretty sweet. Next stop--the Tianjin Youth Center. But first, an artistic interlude with a butterfly: Little butterfly, Enthusiasts pass you by, But they won't eat you. Best haiku I could come up with in 15 seconds. This did not inspire confidence. But maybe the guy sleeping in this ticket booth can help. "What? You have over 30 people with money? KA-FREAKIN'-CHING!" At one point, the ride e-stopped because one car (mine) was dispatched to the lift hill too soon. I was amazed that the thing had working sensors, or whatever. The crew got it going quickly, though--thanks to some timely pushing. Sweet, sweet victory, again! In your face, Victory Kingdom! Of course, the brakes could use a little work. "Let's see. We're in China, and we're sitting in mouse cars. Chicks will now throw themselves at us. Cool." I love how the bumper cars are run with old car batteries. Yes! Another Sliding Dragon! It did need a bit of work, though. That was fun. Peace out, Tianjin Youth Center. Our last stop of the day was Langfang Children's Paradise. First, we had to survive a Chinese flea market. I'm sure I could've bought this chair cheap. Might have, if they'd had a set of four. It was quite a walk to find that credit. Wait! Over there by the peppers! Yes! Another amazing Jungle Mouse! (I think these may be more common than the Golden Horse spinners.) The underside of the station doubles as a "U-Stor-It." Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you--there are two cars on the lift hill at the same time. But not to worry . . . . . . for this ride has passed the safety test! "I've been on much worse than this." "Screw Intamin! I'm all about the Chinese Jungle Mouse coasters now!" Tell us where we must go now, o disturbing half-sheep, half-goat creature with a flute. This is probably street legal in China. Go karts such as these help prepare Chinese children for typical Beijing traffic. It seems that some sort of horrible Satanic ritual was practiced here recently. Oh no! The Goat of Mendes! The devil himself! Better get out of here! That's all for now. Edited October 22, 2012 by cfc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteornotes Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 This is a seriously amazing report. Victory Kingdom (I think the "victory" is if you get to ride anything!) looks like a strange place. And why would anyone on Earth want to theme a park area to Somalia?!? That seems like perhaps the oddest choice for a theme ever. Though it's likely still better than Pottertown... dt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 The only attraction I remember seeing "In Somalia" was the Somalia Storm, which was (I believe) a Chinese knock-off Top Spin with a nautical theme. I think it was running that day, but I don't know if any TPR people rode it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon8899 Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 I wonder how many diseases are tranferred by the water in their waterrides. I mean at Europa-Park at Atlantica Super-Splash the water was cleaner than at many hotels pools I've seen. One question: Was the HUSS Booster and Giant Frisbee original? Or "Made in China"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Voxelmatic Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 One question: Was the HUSS Booster and Giant Frisbee original? Or "Made in China"? Based on what rides the rest of the park had, I would assume they are knock-offs. I could be wrong though! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 ^&^^I couldn't say for certain, as I didn't go around checking for nameplates. Perhaps some of our hard-core flat-ride fans could shed some light here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rctneil Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 As far as I can remember, all the flat rides were Chinese copies (or their attempt at copies). I decided to try all 3 as two of them looked different to any ride types I have ridden before apart from the frisbee. The frisbee was extremely intense as was the waikiki wave top spin thing. It didn't freely rotate but was powered around the inversions so was extremely intense and uncomfortable. Hated both of those. That other strange flat ride Chuck posted wasn't actually as bad as I had expected. Suffice to say that I didn't feel to well after enduring a horrible SLC and 3 knock off flat rides and I'm not really a flat ride person, but if you go all the way to China, you might as well try out these unique once-in-a-lifetime style rides! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 ^I'm pretty wary of flats, although there are some I like (swinging ships and magic carpets, for example). My stomach hated me until about noon for riding the Half-Pipe at Chimelong Paradise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopper39 Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Great Report Chuck, and by great I mean very well done report of some awful looking parks! I love that Amusement Devices, ride safety passed sign haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 The little "credit-whoring" parks were a hoot. Many of them were located in very nice city parks, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElToroExtreme Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Wonderful as always chuck! I cannot wait to see more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisco Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Brings back lots of good memories. Some of those parks are so bizarre they are a lot of fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 19, 2012 Author Share Posted October 19, 2012 ^And China certainly has bizarre parks in abundance. What I appreciated the most about the Chinese parks were the walk-through "haunted" attractions--more than I"ve seen on any other TPR trip. I liked the remaining Happy Valley parks more than Beijing's, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philrad71 Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 OMG awesome...just like I figured it would be. Thanks for posting, Chuck! The Barry White Passion Amusement Park, the Satanic rituals, the Wacky Worms with hot peppers....and the hilarious Haiku!!! Best report I have read in a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharkTums Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 The park reminded me a lot of Hard Rock or even Rainbow Magicland. The Somalia section was the most bizarre idea for theming ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movieguy Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 I used to love flat rides, but after riding the Top Spin at the state fair this year, I felt a bit nauseous, along with my sister. I think we inherited my dad's spinning ride weakness. He loved coasters, but couldn't do anything that spun. Nice TR. Bizarre looking park, but I've come to accept that of Asian parks in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 The Somalia section was the most bizarre idea for theming ever. It needed a shooting dark ride that used pick-up trucks with mounted machine guns to give it that real "Somalia" flair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3Mutts Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Great report! IMO China has a lot of odd parks but Victory Kingdom is definetly the oddest "big" park in China. Somalia as a theme for a area, really?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gav Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Tell us where we must go now, o disturbing half-sheep, half-goat creature with a flute. That goat isn't disturbing, it's pleasant! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pleasant_Goat_and_Big_Big_Wolf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zottewoef81 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Another great report Chuck! I'm going with Neil on the flat rides. They all had very long cycles, but the frisbee and Somalian Waikiki Wave were so intens that I almost lost breakfast (and whatever else was in my stomach at that moment). The other flat however was very good! I would be happy seeing one of those here in Europe. Victory Kingdom really was an odd park. Unfinished theming and rides, the 'what did we just eat'-Stomach King fast food restaurant, etc. The image that I remember best of this park however; is that giant, brown wall of infectious water that doomed up when we hit the water on the splash boat ride. It was like a Tsunami of bacteria and other little monsters. It's a miracle that none of us got sick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharkTums Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 The Somalia section was the most bizarre idea for theming ever. It needed a shooting dark ride that used pick-up trucks with mounted machine guns to give it that real "Somalia" flair. I'm hoping for a Pirates in Somalia shooting boat ride! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted October 21, 2012 Author Share Posted October 21, 2012 ^Perfect! Riders would be pirates trying to take over a tanker or a cruise ship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Philrad71 Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 ^ Hopefully, it's a Carnival ship! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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