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Photo TR: Megan's China Trip with TPR!


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^I'm surprised that we all survived the shuttle loop, too--it really is terrifying when it falls onto its upstops (such as they are).

 

I know some of you did this. How was it?

Really, not very good.

 

I'm enjoying your take on the trip, Megan. Here's a bonus Angus McNasty picture for you.

 

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I am LOVING this TR, Megan!!

 

Your captions are right on the money!! You're a TPR natural!! Makes me feel like I was back there!

 

Let's see:

 

Be glad you missed Spinning Batman - especially the downhill glide into the 90* left-hand turn. You end up saying "Oh-sh*t" before you get there, and a simple "OW -$&^%(#*%^#$%&$%^$)" after. But, be sure to check out the video with Elissa and DT riding!! It's priceless!!

 

The Shuttle loop - Yeah. The most terrifying thing I've ever ridden. Seriously, should have collapsed by now.

 

Glad to see you and your dad had a great trip! Can't wait to see more!!

 

 

Jeff (Big Mike's Idol) Johnson

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^Essentially, you roll around in a big, dark, humid warehouse, where you have a vague notion that there are targets you can shoot at.

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^Essentially, you roll around in a big, dark, humid warehouse, where you have a vague notion that there are targets you can shoot at.

 

and 50% of the guns don't work anyway.

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The American Adventure ride kept stopping around the track as it didn't quite keep connection at all times. Quite strange overall. The Chinese seem to have the impression that they should build dark rides, fill them with animatronics, effects and stuff and then not shine any sort of lighting at them so they operate in pitch darkness.

 

A ton of the dark rides over there were exactly like that.

 

and yes, the guns pretty much failed on that ride. Some guns got around 20 points or some if you pressed it at the right time or something could gain as much as 200 points but it seemed entirely random.

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Wow, the front page twice now? Thank you! And thank you very much for the comments and bonus Angus McNasty photos, everyone!! I’m glad you are enjoying this, as I’m having a lot of fun making it :)

 

Continuing on...

 

Day 2, Part 2: Sun Park

 

From Shijingshan, we inched our way (because that’s the fastest way you can get anywhere in Beijing; I am quite certain that hitching a ride on a sloth would be more efficient) to Sun Park. There we found six coasters, a pretty decent amount of flat rides and enough color to render the Crayola factory insipid and gloomy by comparison. I was also happy to see the themes of the morning continue. By themes, I of course mean catastrophes in the form of Chinese-manufactured rides, arachnid friends and some things that elicited…er, WOULD have elicited true WTF moments, but didn’t because, well, this is China.

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Welcome to the enormously sprawling entrance of Sun Park! Actually, I think this looks pretty neat. Definitely eye-catching, no?

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Now this was pretty cool. I love the Olympics (which will become clear in a later installment of this TR) and I was surprised to see we were so close to one of the sports venues. In middle school gym class, I was the only girl who could serve a volleyball over the net. Yeah, I know you’re all really impressed.

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I started watching The Simpsons when I was three or four because I was drawn to all the bright colors in the animation even though at that young an age, I didn’t really understand what I was watching. I felt the same way here. Lots of color, but I honestly couldn’t tell you what these Rubik’s cube things have to do with anything. There sure were a lot of them, though.

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Our first ride was this powered coaster, which was called The Police Lineup Experience because it began with the ride ops commanding all 30-something of us to stand in a line facing them. They stared at us. We stared back. They consulted, they debated, they whispered. We stood in suspense. They pointed fingers.

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And thus we were assigned seats and away we whored. If, of course, you actually count these things. Which I do not. Because I’m pretty rad like that.

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“Call me later, okay Megan?”

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If you ever wanted to poop inside a ladybug, then Sun Park is the place where dreams come true.

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Next up was the Bolivian Flag Experience.

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You might be wondering, was there a sale on Goldfinch, Grasshopper and Red Tomato?

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No. There was not.

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The Chinese just know how to distract you from the sound of your skull cracking.

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This…

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…renders this sign superfluous.

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I couldn’t help but notice as I walked to the next coaster that Sun Park was a nice looking place. Lots of trees…

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…enough color to distract from the smoggy grayness of the sky…

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…and it was even a Coke park.

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Next up was the standard Jungle Mouse, of which I have no decent photos, so you get to look at me in this silly car instead.

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omg, Hanno! HANNO!!!

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Oh, you’re sticking to the PLATFORMS today? So not the PIATFORMS? Thank goodness. Wouldn’t be able to call you maybe if you were at the free hotel tonight.

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Another park, another Golden Horse.

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Another park, another cat.

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Another park, another Mine Coaster. And yes, this one had its own huge ass spider, too, right before the lift.

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But since I don’t have a picture of that because I was too busy yelping and ducking away from it, I’ll illustrate using this huge ass spider from the spinning coaster instead. Thank goodness I have options, here.

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Same park, same coaster…wait…what? Oh…okay, so they have two powered coasters with the same exact layout. I mean, sure, why not. I didn’t think there were enough Sliding Dragons in this country, anyway.

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“Robb, I…I’m afraid I didn’t make it to the ladybug in time.”

 

(Okay, so as I was going through these pictures, I briefly noticed this. I didn’t bat an eye and kept clicking through. Is it bad that Robb taking a picture of Ruben’s crotch doesn’t seem the slightest bit strange?)

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The Rainbow Children’s Coaster was next, which featured such rainbow related theming as cobras wearing lipstick…

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…deranged gorillas…

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...and whatever this is supposed to be.

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Then this happened.

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Just look at this. Can you believe just how silly this looks? Neither can I. These people have absolutely no shame.

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Nope, they have no shame at all in placing the antennae in the wrong place. Come on, Sun Park, get with the entomology program.

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Following the coasters, we had some time to wander around, so naturally I went for the parachute tower since a) you don’t see many of these anymore and b) I figured I owed it to Coca Cola, since the calories in it essentially saved me from starvation on this trip.

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It was nice to get up high, closer to the smog, because I thought my lungs had been too healthy lately.

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Wait a minute, what is this?

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Why, it’s World of Warcraft Chinese style, which means it’s an outdoor shooting ride where you are supposed to shoot jungle animals. Of course, since this is the Chinese version, there is no way to tell how many points you accumulate since the score display doesn’t work, but it’s okay, kids--

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You can still have a rip roarin’ good time.

 

(Tell me this picture doesn’t make you giggle.)

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Pow.

 

 

Shortly after that, we headed out. That night a few of us went to an acrobatics show, which was really pretty awesome (but no photos because a blinding flash is really not conducive to safe gymnastics!). Afterwards we decided to head to the Bird’s Nest and Water Cube to see them lit up at night and I have to hand it to our tour guide, Bruce, who got us all set up with the cab and got us on our way.

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It was absolutely pouring on the way over there, but I kid you not, it stopped the second we opened the cab door. I was on cloud 9 just being able to see this—but the best of this was yet to come!

 

Next up is Happy Valley Beijing and later, my Olympic dreams come true!

 

 

Until then, I shall educate you about China’s position on environmental awareness with this simple message…

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Paper, bottles, cans, plastic—Unrecycle them all, it’s fantastic!!!

 

Thanks for reading!

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Now this was pretty cool. I love the Olympics (which will become clear in a later installment of this TR) and I was surprised to see we were so close to one of the sports venues. In middle school gym class, I was the only girl who could serve a volleyball over the net. Yeah, I know you’re all really impressed.

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TPR trips have an odd way of taking you to Olympic venues! So far I've been to Beijing, Seoul (we drove by the Olympic stadium and ate at a restaurant across the street from the Olympic park/village), and Tiene Olympia park in Japan.

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And thus we were assigned seats and away we whored. If, of course, you actually count these things. Which I do not. Because I’m pretty rad like that.

 

That may cause problems in the future. I'm NOT a lawyer, but I think a pre-nup needs to be written up!

 

 

Just sayin'.

 

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