imawesome1124 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 I did multiple searches but nothing came up. Throughout the years of martial arts movies, few people have stood out more so than the legendary Chuck Norris. He punches at the speed of light, and his roundhouse kicks can bring down anything. There have been countless claims of his abilities, so this is the place to collect the best ones. "Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories." "There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives." "Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life." "Chuck Norris once peed in a semi-trucks gas tank as a joke... the truck is now known as Optimus Prime." "Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the $h!t out of it." And when you go on Google, type in Chuck Norris and click I'm Felling Lucky, it will say "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MayTheGForceBeWithYou Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 Champions: the breakfast of Chuck Norris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RAWKIN_coaster38 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force. Chuck Norris can capitalize numbers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grrt Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 There's no jaw underneath his beard... only another fist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bottom_feeder_13 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 People who accept no limitations have yet to meet Chuck Norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downunder Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 ^Except Bruce Lee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeemerBoy Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 It's February, 2012. Even Chuck Norris is disappointed with this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltopper39 Posted February 7, 2012 Share Posted February 7, 2012 It's February, 2012. Even Chuck Norris is disappointed with this thread. Due to this age's immense popularity someone should start a favorite "You Might Be A Redneck" thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
accelerate Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 According to the theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you yesterday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coasterfansince1999 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Try this. Google "Where's Chuck Norris?" and click "I'm Feeling Lucky". Trust me, you'll laugh your butt off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatle11 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 ^Lol...just type in Chuck Norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imawesome1124 Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 ^ I included that with my first post. I just about died when my friend showed it to me the first time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dippindotsguy8 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
154bmag Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Chuck Norris can shoot down a plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling BANG! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krakenmaniac Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Chuck Norris once peed in a semi-truck for fun, it is now known as Optumus Prime. Chuck Norris and superman bet on a fight between them and the looser had to wear his underwear over his pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hydra Posted February 22, 2012 Share Posted February 22, 2012 Is no one tired of the lame Chuck Norris jokes yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
osm Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 When Chuck Norris goes swimming, he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris'd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XYZ Posted February 23, 2012 Share Posted February 23, 2012 ^Lol...just type in Chuck Norris. When I type Chuck Norris in Google and click I'm Feeling Lucky, it gets me to the Chuck Norris website, though if you type Where's Chuck Norris in Google, it's a totally different thing. Some of my Chuck Norris jokes of which I'm making up right now: In Rock, Paper, Scissors, Chuck Norris always uses rock and always wins. Whenever Chuck Norris goes to the beach, it's always low tide. President Obama only needs one Secret Service officer: Chuck Norris. Japan bans Chuck Norris from jump roping because the last time he jump roped in Japan, the 9.0 earthquake happened. It's not a sin for Chuck Norris to kill a mockingbird. It took one punch for Chuck Norris to take down Mike Tyson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJ27 Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 Chuck Norris can divide by 0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
154bmag Posted February 24, 2012 Share Posted February 24, 2012 The most interesting man in the world looks up to Chuck Norris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The49er Posted February 25, 2012 Share Posted February 25, 2012 Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. The last person to look Chuck Norris in the eye was Stevie Wonder. A random onlooker once taunted Chuck Norris. He responded by roundhouse-kicking the man so hard that both his parents died. If you get in a fight, there will be 2 impacts: his foot hitting you and you hitting the surface of the Sun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E1ticket5 Posted February 26, 2012 Share Posted February 26, 2012 Chuck Norris is the reason Vekomas hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XYZ Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 The most interesting man in the world looks up to Chuck Norris The most interesting man in the world IS Chuck Norris. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RCTrioFan Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 He is the only one who can roundhouse kick an arrow to your knee. SKYRIM FTW! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molemaster43 Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 One day, Chuck Norris ate a gold bar. The next day, he crapped Mr. T out. Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice Whenever Chuck Norris adds 2 and 2, he gets five Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; That is why there are no signs of life Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; You answer the wrong phone Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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