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Favorite Chuck Norris Facts


imawesome1124
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I did multiple searches but nothing came up.

 

Throughout the years of martial arts movies, few people have stood out more so than the legendary Chuck Norris. He punches at the speed of light, and his roundhouse kicks can bring down anything. There have been countless claims of his abilities, so this is the place to collect the best ones.

 

"Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories."

"There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives."

"Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life."

"Chuck Norris once peed in a semi-trucks gas tank as a joke... the truck is now known as Optimus Prime."

"Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the $h!t out of it."

 

And when you go on Google, type in Chuck Norris and click I'm Felling Lucky, it will say "Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you."

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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

 

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

 

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

 

Did you know Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars......he was the force.

 

Chuck Norris can capitalize numbers.

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^Lol...just type in Chuck Norris.

 

When I type Chuck Norris in Google and click I'm Feeling Lucky, it gets me to the Chuck Norris website, though if you type Where's Chuck Norris in Google, it's a totally different thing.

 

Some of my Chuck Norris jokes of which I'm making up right now:

 

In Rock, Paper, Scissors, Chuck Norris always uses rock and always wins.

 

Whenever Chuck Norris goes to the beach, it's always low tide.

 

President Obama only needs one Secret Service officer: Chuck Norris.

 

Japan bans Chuck Norris from jump roping because the last time he jump roped in Japan, the 9.0 earthquake happened.

 

It's not a sin for Chuck Norris to kill a mockingbird.

 

It took one punch for Chuck Norris to take down Mike Tyson.

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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice.

 

The last person to look Chuck Norris in the eye was Stevie Wonder.

 

A random onlooker once taunted Chuck Norris. He responded by roundhouse-kicking the man so hard that both his parents died.

 

If you get in a fight, there will be 2 impacts: his foot hitting you and you hitting the surface of the Sun.

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One day, Chuck Norris ate a gold bar. The next day, he crapped Mr. T out.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity... Twice

Whenever Chuck Norris adds 2 and 2, he gets five

Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; That is why there are no signs of life

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number; You answer the wrong phone

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards

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