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Food and Fatties of Middle America!


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Day One is below. For Pre-Trip Day One, Click Here!

 

Day One, the official first day of the trip! Today we ERT on Sponge Bob, Airbender, and ......... We had a lot of fun at this park. We met up with some old friends, some whom we had just met on the Europe trip, and met a ton of new ones. As this day was early in the trip, we hadn't really thought of the Food and Fatties theme, so I didn't get many food and fatties pictures. Don't worry though, I have hand picked some wonderful fatties from later on in the trip. As for food, I promise there will be many more in the future, especially the Silver Dollar City day! There were an incredible amount at Indiana Beach and The Wisconsin Dells. This was also the world's famous Leslie Hall day, but that deserves it's own post. Well, it's off to the pictures!

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TPDave once again realizes that he just screwed up the punchline.

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For some reason, the TPR gays said this was the best named coaster of the trip ;)

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Nerds!!!!!

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Lot's if twistie goodness and great looking cars!

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Dan, that creepy dude with the camera is taking pictures of me!

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Dan approves of anything associated with a Rock Bottom Plunge!

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This time Dan can't blame the dog.

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Weeeeee!

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Why look at anything else when beautiful Robb Alvey is around! !

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Oh crap, I hope Joey didn't get a picture of me staring at Robb's manly goodness ;)

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The very deep Rock Bottom Plunge!

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Next up is Dave taking a ride on Airbender.

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I was pretty surprised at how close to the end it got.

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It was a 'hAir Bending' experience. Ok, that was a horrible caption.

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They also had built in electric shockers on the ride.

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Even Mike Austin's hair went straight up.

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"That was a horrible ride. It was absolutely terrible."

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E: "I'm sorry, this is a private event. We paid extra to have them open it early for us."

Lady: But I see the ride running so why can't we ride it?

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E: "Grrrr, I hate dealing with stupid GP!"

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Proof that Mike Austin enjoyed at least one moment of the entire trip.

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Ashley gives his single and 'smart' Australian look.

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Mike gives his first Rock Bottom Plunge with Ashley two thumbs up!

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And now for a fatty break! Did anyone order extra cheese? (From the Wisconsin Dells) Now back to our regularly scheduled update.

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Ghost Blasters was a really fun dark shooting ride.

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Jackie was more scared of the TPR weirdos outside the ride, than of the ghosts inside!

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Tak Attack was a fun ride, but not fast or 'spinny' enough.

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Hey look, it's.....

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..John and Robb!

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The very Nickelodeon and creatively named "Log Chute" was actually very good.

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Aaaaaah!

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I wish I could send this to his football buddies to show how tough he is ;)

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These swings were awesome! They had backwards seats!

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Luckily I was there to catch the kid when he flew out of the Fairly Odd Coaster.

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Lots of spinning fun!

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A delicious steak and cheese sandwich!

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Up next was the Flying Dutchman Ghastly Gangplank. It felt a lot higher than it looked.

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The worker in black would sit on his safety rope like a swing. Ok, then it's definitely strong enough to hold me.

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Elissa is heading up to throw all the annoying kids off the structure.

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See! That girl and Dan were the only nice ones.

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Dan and Elissa working their way across the first level. There was no limit to where you wanted to go, and no real time limit as well.

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I spy, with my little eye, a green fatty!

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Hi Amy! Did you see me kick all of those kids off?

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A way high, Fatty Hi! (that's about the extent of my poetry skills)

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Dan makes it to gangplank!

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Thanks Amy for taking the most flattering picture of your husband yet!

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Elissa may not have conquered the rug, but she conquered the Gangplank!!! ;)

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Is this supposed to be making a cracking sound?

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WWE's newest fighter, The Diabetic Destroyer!

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His signature move is the "Insulin Forearm Spike!"

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Dan and Elissa were waiting for me to fall so they could laugh their A$$es off!

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Break time! "Hey, where did you guys buy the black and purple life preservers? Oh, my bad. Sorry." (Wisconsin Dells)

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Help!

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Catherine and Jackie joined in the festivities!

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Thankfully we talked TPDave out of wearing his skirt.

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Catherine carefully makes her way across.

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She is just a little above center. Pretty high!

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Yeah! Just one more level to go!

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Jackie wishes Elissa was up there to take out the slow people in front of her.

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TPDave's not too sure about this next step.

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Rich displays perfect form with the vastly popular Duck Footed Hook technique.

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Neil was able to float in mid-air off the platform.

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Oh, is he going to fall? I think he's going to fall!

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This is how the TPR Gangsta's roll.

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And then there is Dora.

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(SFGA - Ragin' Cajun) This lady didn't even bother changing after being discharged from the hospital. Dan and John had to get as far over as they could to escape all the excess juices.

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Next up is the Atomic Collider as the Orange Crush rushes by.

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John and Robb get warped back to their days at Knott's!

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Weeeeeeeee!

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Ok, I'm going to throw up, get me out of this damn seat.

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I told you you should have gone to the bathroom before the ride!

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I see some TPR members on Tak Attack!

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Hey everbody, It's Shaving time! Shavy Shavy, Shave, Shave, Shavy Shavy, SHAVE SHAVE SHAVE.....

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There was also a Pez convention taking place at the TPR Hotel! It was closed door, but I was able to sneak this shot.

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Time to play the game, "Find the Fatty!"

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Mmmmm, time for a 2000 calorie Chocolate malt farewell drink! Thanks for an awesome time Mall of America!

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New State credit, IOWA!

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Up first was the official welcome dinner at Bucca di Beppo! It was incredible, but it was family style so I was too busy fending off my siblings to take pictures!

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Hey, that's the same picture I have of myself after this trip!

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They have a ton of these odd, funny, and disturbing pictures/signs.

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Nothing compliments a nice Italian dinner than a picture of the mob taking out ol' Vinny.

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I think I will pass on chocolate dessert.

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Nothing says priesthood like a couple of joints.

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All trip participants got these awesome Buca iPhone cases!

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Everyone is very content and exhausted, and it's only day one!

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Now that you've seen this picture, you've seen Iowa!

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Then Elissa wakes us all up and lets us in on a little MASSIVE surprise. Leslie Hall is going to meet us at the Bates Motel in Boondocks!!!!! To be continued.......

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What the......

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...HELL WAS THAT!!!

Edited by jray21
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Thanks for this Joey! I'm totally loving it. I can say that Middle America was the first time in my 4 trips with TPR that I did not lose weight. I actually gained weight. R&E did an amazing job on the trip (as always) but totally kicked a$$ in the food department! Buco De Beppi was AMAZING. All I remember of the bus ride to Iowa was going into a food coma as soon as we boarded.

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A cheesesteak should never have lettuce and tomato.

 

Haha! That's exactly why I called it a steak and cheese instead. I would never call it a cheesesteak sandwich. I wish it was a cheesesteak!

 

Ah so that's were all the fat people were...(I went to America last week and I wasn't expetcing so many nice people. I was in San Fransisco.) Maybe all the biggens go to live in Wisconsin so they don't feel left out.

 

Yeah, San Francisco, and most of the west coast people are relatively 'normal.' Middle America is really where all the action is

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Oh my, you caught me oggling Robb's manliness. I must hang my head in shame or something like that.

 

Great report!

 

Did anyone get a picture of the signs in the hotel about rooms open for swapping? At first I thought there was a swingers convention.

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To let you in on a little secret, The log Chute was going to be rethemed to the show Back at the Barnyard. There was a banner hung off the ride claiming the retheme was coming soon. No one knows if they realized how stupid of an idea this was, or if they figured it would be way too much work, but the sign has been gone for a while now, and there has been no construction.

 

Yes, Mt. Olympus is like a little Houston oasis in the midwest for fatties.

 

Your guys' ERT line is the longest line I have seen for RBP in a long time.

 

Thanks for the updates, and the always witty captions!

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Oh my, you caught me oggling Robb's manliness. I must hang my head in shame or something like that.

 

Great report!

 

Did anyone get a picture of the signs in the hotel about rooms open for swapping? At first I thought there was a swingers convention.

 

Don't be ashamed! We have all admired Robb's manliness at one time or another

 

This is awesme Joey! Can't wait till you get to Silver Dollar City. (I think you need to tease the "pork cracklins'" shot)

 

Definitely. Those were some good shots

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I can say that Middle America was the first time in my 4 trips with TPR that I did not lose weight. I actually gained weight.

 

I've lost a ton of weight on every TPR trip I've done. I wonder why that could be?

Saying that, I reckon even if I did like any of the food (how am I going to survive 6 months in Florida???), I still would've lost weight just due to the sheer amount of sweat that this trip brought!

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Wow, its only been two years since I've been to MOA, and already it looks so different. Nice report by the way, did they drastically change the log ride yet? It used to be themed by like, Paul Bunyan and I heard they were going to change it up.

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I can say that Middle America was the first time in my 4 trips with TPR that I did not lose weight. I actually gained weight.

 

I've lost a ton of weight on every TPR trip I've done. I wonder why that could be?

Saying that, I reckon even if I did like any of the food (how am I going to survive 6 months in Florida???), I still would've lost weight just due to the sheer amount of sweat that this trip brought!

 

Your doing the College Program right? You are going to hate the food because you have employee cafeteria's, and while a vast majority of people like them, they do have a limited menu so the chances of you finding something good is slim. Hey, maybe you can lose enough weight to be able to join the somalia section of Animal Kingdom by the end of the trip! (Yes, the heat was absolutely horrendous on this trip!)

 

The Hippo has had many a giggle reading this report....and is slightly worried about his 2011 park visits....the Hippo is tiny and may be accidentally sat upon by some of this trip reports subjects....

 

There were some people that could have easily sat on 6 of your size hippo's!

 

Wow, its only been two years since I've been to MOA, and already it looks so different. Nice report by the way, did they drastically change the log ride yet? It used to be themed by like, Paul Bunyan and I heard they were going to change it up.

 

This

To let you in on a little secret, The log Chute was going to be rethemed to the show Back at the Barnyard. There was a banner hung off the ride claiming the retheme was coming soon. No one knows if they realized how stupid of an idea this was, or if they figured it would be way too much work, but the sign has been gone for a while now, and there has been no construction.

 

Yes, Mt. Olympus is like a little Houston oasis in the midwest for fatties.

 

Your guys' ERT line is the longest line I have seen for RBP in a long time.

 

Thanks for the updates, and the always witty captions!

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