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TPR's EPIC Oktoberfest Trip Report!


robbalvey
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WARNING! STRONG LANGUAGE IN THIS UPDATE! IF YOU GET OFFENDED TURN BACK NOW!!!

 

Time for more Oktoberfest! More photos! More Video! Credit Whore Parks! Drunk Piers! Drunk Joey! Awesomeness!

 

Enjoy....be sure to post your comments!

 

Welcome to the start of CREDIT WHORE day on the TPR Oktoberfest Trip! Yes, Piers is still a bit drunk from last night!

 

"This just became my favorite park of the trip!"

 

In Germany, the wonderful little kiddie parks are always right next to...

 

...a place to get freakin DRUNK!

 

"Hello everyone...here is the map!"

 

"I like having nuts in my mouth."

 

The kiddie credit is actually not that kiddie!

 

"Hello everyone! We are the only people in this park!"

 

OMG! Watch out for that TREEEEEEE!

 

Check out this video of our day at Marchenwald! Includes Squirrel Coaster POV, do-it-yourself rides, and other random stuff...

 

"We love nuts in our mouth!"

 

"Hey look America! It's one of those do-it-yourself-upsidedown-no-ride-op rides that you'd never see in the USA!"

 

You guys in? Did you check your own lap bars?

 

HOLY CRAP!!!!

 

You seriously can go upside down about 20 times in this!

 

And of course in Germany there is always a "Slide Paradise" around every corner.

 

Grrr...I'm evil!

 

Here is the "Self-operated kiddie pig" ride meant for kids. Let's meet our TPR kids...

 

Miles does seem to smile a lot. And why is he so happy? Because he's riding a pig.

 

Shane likes to grab is pigs by the ears. He's kinky like that.

 

We've been trying to convince Jon that this pig is just not right for him.

 

This pig is the only action Kris will get the entire trip.

 

Steve is drunker than the pig.

 

Kevin is new to TPR trips...but he's not new to riding a pig!

 

Ginny's hair color sort of matches the pig!

 

Young Jeff is not older than the pig.

 

Big Mike is actually having sex with the pig.

 

Ryan...Kinky!

 

"RYAN!!! GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF THAT PIG!!!"

 

KidTums and Elissa you know already...pigs.

 

"I do not support this ride. It is mean to the pigs."

 

These little German kiddie parks always have little bits of charming fun groovieness.

 

This is the animal hospital run by Dr. Liebtran.

 

Death ropes courses everywhere!

 

"Club in a sack!"

 

"I'm going to eat your children!"

 

In this version of Little Red Riding Hood the wolf says "Hey bitch! I'm going to rape your grandmother!"

 

"Check me out! First I f**ked her! Then I ate her!!!"

 

F YOU WOLF! DIE DIE DIE!!!!

 

Now it's time for the self-operated staring contest...Jon is clearly winning this.

 

Shiiiiiiiiiiitttttt!

 

This version of Snow While was amazing. It said something about the Prince doing the "dirty deed." No, it actually said this!

 

It's a requirement by German law that all the parks must have at least 12 kiddie horsie rides.

 

Our next stop was back to Oktoberfest. Why? Because that's why we are on this trip...duh!

 

The horses arrive with more beer.

 

NOTED!

 

We are just doing our part.

 

The Helter Skelter Toboggan Slide of hot angry death might be the best thing that has ever happened to planet earth.

 

To fully appreciate the Helter Skelter Toboggan Death Slide, watch this video...especially the drunks!

 

Elissa is about to die.

 

First a German stranger takes KidTums up the ramp that goes about 88 miles per hour.

 

Elissa then gets touched by a random German stranger. She enjoys this.

 

OMG! Elissa has re-birthed KidTums!

 

Elissa liked getting touched by random strange German men so much, she did it again.

 

The German men have been touching women for 75 years!

 

BIRTHDAY!!!

 

It was time for more Schwarzkopf!

 

I love Anton.

 

KidTums played Jon's favorite game.

 

This is not a Cedar Fair approved sign.

 

Piers and Robb rode the Wild Mouse. There is video to prove it... Be sure to watch the video and vote at the end!

To vote for your option - watch until the end of the video - then EMAIL DAN!!! your answer!

 

BEST VIEW OF THE TRIP!

 

Mmmm...yummy!

 

"I want to see!"

 

"How much for your little girl!?"

 

Hooray!

 

Olympia...

 

Looping!

 

KidTums rides the kiddie beer truck!

 

It looks like it might say "fish on a stick..."

 

Oh...I guess it does.

 

Yummy crepes!

 

I wonder if the Mondial version will be as good as this?

 

Oktoberfest has a lot of erections.

 

Put these pieces together and a hot German man will jump out of a cake.

 

The lion drinks more beer than Little Bitch Kris.

 

Boobs, Beer, and Bacon! HELL YEAH!!!

 

Jurken the Gurken!

 

"I'll take 99 please..."

 

It's the Pac-Man cheese place!

 

"Do not use the elevator if genetically mutated giant slugs are attacking."

 

This is the most disturbing thing we saw in Germany.

 

This is why I love Europe...here is an ad for a photo studio right in the train station.

 

And it's totally ok to show a little bit of flesh!

 

In America, if you showed these photos in public, you'd be taken away and beaten to death! I love Europe!

 

"Life-sized blonde woman in this box...just add semen."

 

"What do you all think of my new blonde wedge?"

 

KidTums has a future as a hair stylist!

 

Our next credit whore park of the day! Lollihop!

 

Lollihop is kind of like a Jeepers or John's Incredible Pizza...

 

It's totally meant for kids and birthday parties...

 

And it's HUGE! The place was totally awesome!

 

And yes there is a credit!

 

Now this is sad and pathetic!

 

KidTums loved it!

 

Hooray! A sign photo for Larry!

 

And another one for Larry.

 

Oddly enough, the ride costs more for kids than it does for adults!

 

"Daddy, can I count this as a credit?"

 

"I feel like I'm in a womb!"

 

"Hey look! I have no arms!"

 

"Hello world! This is Piers...we are back at Oktoberfest...I've only had 5 beers...that's not enough..."

 

"I just love the head on this beer!"

 

Piers is a "fun drunk"...Joe and Joey are "annoying drunks." You will see in this video...

 

The drop tower had a program where it left you at the top for about 3 minutes.

 

Which was plenty of time to get great pictures!

 

Sexy!

 

This is not even 1/4 of Oktoberfest!

 

More Oktoberfest!

 

This was the TPR beer tent! It's HUGE!

 

"I just pulled this hand out of my ass!"

 

JOEY IS ON THE FLOOR!

 

Can Joe make it up the Helter Skelter slide?

 

Not without losing his shirt!

 

"JEWS FOR JESUS!!!"

 

We got totally molested on this ghost train! Watch this video!

 

Ow.

 

It's important to keep your ash tray next to the fire extinguisher.

 

"OMG! Did you get totally molested by that guy back there???"

 

This is not a photoshop accident...this is exactly what the Psychodelic Fun House Hybrid looks like with the acid trip glasses on! Watch this video to see drunk people try to conquer a fun house!

 

"Oh, no! It's like fountains of beautiful!"

 

The lasers have killed Joe!

 

"Poor Joe...let's have sex with his dead body."

 

"It's beautiful!"

 

Can you see the giraffe in this picture?

 

Psychodelic was amazing! Oktoberfest is amazing! Joey and Joe are annoying drunks! Watch this video of Psychodelic!

 

We have to say goodbye to Olympia Looping one more time...

 

...we will be back!

 

And now your part...POST COMMENTS!!!

Edited by robbalvey
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I may of wet myself. This trip report is probably the best ever ! (so far) . 'oh look another drop' haha. The video on the wild mouse was just the funniest thing ever. 'Read any book's lately ? ' Lol ... Piers is funny sober but come on drunk piers is 100 times funnier. Thats what we need from theme park review comedy with coasters . ! Also Robb's ''Weeeeee'' On like every ride is just amazing !

 

Anyway to Octoberfest ... it looks soo good at night i wouldnt be able to refrain myself from dancing to the awesome lights..

Also incase anyone is intrested i heard Kim Kardashian is at octoberfest im sure she is game for Team Drunk Tpr. !

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Very cool report, thanks Robb! I love the photos when you were on the drop tower. I think the most things looks much better and more impressive in the dark with the light on. And I don’t mean only coasters and stuff like this but also cities and their monuments and stuff...

The video of the Psychodelic Fun House Hybrid is soooo funny. Even though some of the “crashs” in this spinning tube (what ever this is called in English) looked a little painful. I guess the insight wasn’t somehow padded or was it?

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Oh my god !!!! Thank you so much for posting your Oktoberfest Trip !! I enjoyed every pixel, even from the words. This is pure EPICGASM

 

I hope you enjoyed germany!! Poorly didn't meet up with you guys, but i'm going to Oktoberfest again at next saturday

 

By the way, what was your favourite beer at Oktoberfest ?? (As far as you can remember)

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Dislclaimer- I'm drunk, so this comment may or may not be worthwhile.

 

 

All of the liters to ounces conversion math was incorrect.. Though I'm not sure what the correct math was as I'm suprised I'm able to type to type this.

 

 

 

 

Chris "Was inspired to get black out drunk by this threa" ummm, Connolly.

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Can't wait for the next installament of drunk Piers videos, this is fantastic!! We American's need to wake up, quit being so sue and insurance safety happy, and have festivals of this calibur, simply amazing! I can't even tell you how many people at work I have hooked on this report!

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