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Tell Me A Joke!


Louise
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How many tuba players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to drink until the room starts spinning.

 

 

What do you get when you drop a tuba out of a 13 story window and it lands on a seven year old?

A flat minor.

 

So a tuba player walks into a bar...

and he ends up paying $175 to fix the dent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can anyone guess what instrument I play?

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There is an old restaurant that has a magic mirror that if you tell a lie while looking at it, it will suck you in.

 

One day, a red head walked up to the mirror and said "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.

 

The following day, a brunette walked up to the mirror and said "I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world" and it sucked her in.

 

Finally, the next day, a blonde walked up to the mirror and said "I think-" and it sucked her in.

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  • 7 months later...

This jokes is a bit dark so you will have to bear with me...

 

I was upset because my friend had died. and i felt gulity for months until i just decided to give it up. I had a rope around my neck and i was ready to jump. then my mum ran in and told me not to do it, I replyed "What have i got to live for"? then she said "well were going to six flags america,do you want to come with us?" I kicked the stool away... :lmao:

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While we're doing lightbulb jokes...

 

How did the hipster burn his hand?

He unscrewed the lightbulb before it was cool.

 

 

how many Jewish Grandmothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

 

 

zero. "if you vant me to sid in the darrk, I'll sid in the darrk"

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