Jump to content
  TPR Home | Parks | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube | Instagram 

Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures


Recommended Posts

  • Replies 1.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Posted Images

My in-laws live in Jakcsonville and my brother visits them often. When my nephew and niece were younger, my brother used to take them to the Jacksonville Zoo all the time. It's neat to see what is actually inside the zoo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just hope that whatever town Erik and Smisty move to, there will still be Oddventures.

 

Well, I'm sure there will be something. Just probably not this.

 

If it makes you feel any better...the Holy Land has been visited!

 

Now I just have to sort out all o' them pesky photos....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 weeks later...

Well, here it is: the last proper update to Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures. We leave for Las Vegas in a few days. There were a few places we never got to--and a few that we did, that I just never got around to posting about. Apologies. But, we couldn't leave without giving you this...

 

The Holy Land Experience

01P1120485.JPG.f67678a64b004c367b7b34bc38594799.JPG

The "main" entrance, that they apparently no longer use...?

02P1120095.JPG.8ca5c40b2d0149e2bd5e8ac5ff2b40e0.JPG

Sweet! Aslan!

03P1120104.JPG.59161b317fe43273b0cd56a101ed3fc3.JPG

What's this now?

04P1120100.JPG.e65c60d23bdfb2e87e985135197d7ea6.JPG

There's actually quite a few static figures and displays in the parking lot and outside the gate. Therefore, by my scientific calculations, considering that parking is free, and it's $45 to enter the "park," you get a better, more cost-efficient experience by not actually going in.

05P1120121.JPG.60b8bd2cd5c63c715c3220a95bfa4789.JPG

Super hero camel!

06P1120112.JPG.486e7fae0e4b587620f5748041bc8ae2.JPG

Noah's all-kinds-of-jacked-up-scale ark!

07P1120114.JPG.779a433f09a1bf40b5b185e6145ed40f.JPG

The best thing I did. Outside the gate. Free.

08P1120110.JPG.f80ef826ff75fab86db495f0666fd690.JPG

Squinty cartoon guy welcomes you to his three-quarters of a shack.

10P1120105.JPG.103a9948bfd5b39364f8e1aa5a9867f3.JPG

The main entrance. Guarded by Roman soldiers and their legendary war giraffes.

12P1120133.JPG.7d96ebed361b9e208ebbfc9a77c58f99.JPG

These cardboard cutouts are everywhere. I guess it's cheaper than paying someone to stand there....

13P1120139.JPG.06f5c05f9a5876c4bf3781dac57ffd6e.JPG

I'm...not even sure what's happening in here.

14P1120143.JPG.37d953601ea3f6cbc4b538fb75c57037.JPG

The coffee shop is nice.

16P1120145.JPG.95ea3e7b423f9cd4e9143eb519feb598.JPG

This is that book of the bible where Jesus jumped the shark.

18P1120172.JPG.ebd98576c2571c3339c2e7e66058197d.JPG

So, the front part of Holy Land is the kid section. Which is weird. So I liked that.

19P1120152.JPG.2b143b841ec89fead7c6494b195eb068.JPG

Inside the whale is an octopus and a starfish, both with creepy human faces, because the bible.

20P1120156.JPG.4ea95dd85d161d160ca873932cfa1672.JPG

Also, Jonah, who is levitating.

22P1120170.JPG.303ccf23007680638f0b51e036b8ac7a.JPG

Still, the kids area looked nice enough. I don't think I saw a child there that day, though.

23P1120168.JPG.a4c8709ee4e995e5fd2cff63b8f65ac1.JPG

Jesus' balls.

25P1120146.JPG.d3051a4115d7eeeb3c1353c841440d0c.JPG

Sure, why not?

26P1120177.JPG.0ad61f2150bb935169ad9a037a24365b.JPG

This bench is closed due to penguins. Peace.

27P1120173.JPG.f4d62c6effe1386ab4a2b2653a417a29.JPG

Nothing happens here.

29P1120179.JPG.b2030c5293f31ebd797956e9e87ac031.JPG

I am biblically strong!

30P1120183.JPG.ae438f56e5a1858008456b09bbf5294e.JPG

Moses part the Red Sea, whilst fighting a flying shark. Next, on Syfy!

32P1120197.JPG.d7c420e9407d09d963677635eef6ae5a.JPG

The Church of Agony. Also called Something More Pleasant.

33P1120190.JPG.3a4438a87066b3a979678f4b6800b15c.JPG

The Church of the Triangular Alleyway

34P1120188.JPG.1694dee099813cfb0956b14c5b11d070.JPG

Another nice store. Too bad they just sell Jesus stuff.

35P1120220.JPG.7098f7bba1063b3400335c31fdf8a70c.JPG

King of the callback.

36P1120211.JPG.35287ca8639669d37bacffa5af4dda73.JPG

So, goofy as it sometimes is, it must be said that much of Holy Land is actually quite nice.

37P1120222.JPG.51ec0fcda86cab2cbe4868da264a7a23.JPG

The Jesus Death Hole

 

King of the callback.

38P1120231.JPG.ce9bfc4c4d63fc0859f0255c6f604005.JPG

There's really just one restaurant. They serve Chick-fil-A.

 

Not kidding.

39P1120236.JPG.a8ff05c7cb20b2b8ccbd03e56d1f44b6.JPG

However, they don't just serve Chick-fil-A. Here are a couple of the other items.

41P1120240.JPG.54f1c88af8f0ed1d56dcaf0e720d7847.JPG

The Jesus Boat

 

No, look, it actually says that.

 

That's the name of my next band, by the way.

42P1120243.JPG.df57bd6330f8c284acedf9dabad08fd4.JPG

OH MY GOD, FISH!!!!!!!!!1!

43P1120247.JPG.7e4ae32e74aa8344bb2573e8e2859968.JPG

Hey, check out my lake. Nice day for a walk, eh? Ha ha, just a little me humor. You look good. I'll be back on shore in a second. Did you see my boat? Not sure why I had that. Don't really need it.

44P1120254.JPG.b2d6fc0f34ffb5a41fcfc10a92e0fc4a.JPG

See? Pretty.

45P1120250.JPG.6aee1d8406df3938b8b6efa72fda06d8.JPG

This is just...weird.

47P1120256.JPG.f6a8be73c164e3677b14518e853285a2.JPG

Please don't put your finger in my palm hole. Yeah, I know you want to. Just don't.

48P1120263.JPG.eb101046f8063df5c4748ba1c8c9a21a.JPG

Well, at least they're copping to it.

49P1120275.JPG.d01d9f56fb846482b30dc1d8f90e84a5.JPG

..ad, and looked at it smarmily.

52P1120309.JPG.a8b0e45c30b504e4dce2210f929638ef.JPG

Tiny Jesus welcomes you.

53P1120307.JPG.add10932c9177b5620dbb1a8c5dfc0cc.JPG

Oh! Oh! I know what that is!

54P1120311.JPG.283553f62b7b16cb7134ac2c0afbc21c.JPG

Some kind of show. I dunno. I didn't stick around.

55P1120324.JPG.b08009d66a12437c3b1ca7d5a74efb80.JPG

Sample joke from this guy: "Do you know why they closed all the Walmarts in Iraq? Because they just become Targets anyway."

56P1120328.JPG.564b1f8774b225bc4329e11f3d2b15f1.JPG

There's some kind of show about books or something in this building.

57P1120331.JPG.4feaa8d976f48d5a2e499653d2a3c53c.JPG

We got really excited because it has a queue!

59P1120337.JPG.0cc84ab306630b321937f36c2f633348.JPG

Unfortunately, they don't allow photography, so we skipped it. Here's an angel stabbing itself in the head.

60P1120354.JPG.04348f41b094ab8800de87a11902ddae.JPG

The Scriptorium gift shop.

64P1120371.JPG.887bc662a14ee134f367f28d70dc4a76.JPG

This path winds between the lake and the fence that separates the park from the parking lot. And it has animals on it. I'm pretty sure you can see them through the fence. You know, if you don't want to pay to get in. I'm just saying.

65P1120380.JPG.08f2413fb6a002e8849e256b20d44b24.JPG

That's weird kerning.

 

Wait, is that kerning? Or would that be something else? Well, anyway, it's weird.

66P1120395.JPG.ea607539233dac64ced95d4fb6c56005.JPG

Here's a thing. To the side, there's a big dry erase board where ordinary weirdos can write nonsense.

68P1120417.JPG.ad47e1935e94efb9eb12039ff7314c9a.JPG

Jesus!

69P1120418.JPG.6d0f303ed115409daf6e99dc6afff0c8.JPG

Lions love Christians.

70P1120444.JPG.af7c14b181a0d888b1523928815f49b8.JPG

Shroud of Turin exhibit.

72P1120427.JPG.c955475495416ec5c9bd9096f3dbf8da.JPG

Well, this looks impressive.

73P1120426.JPG.20d0d5411d115439badd2da3c9f6b9d9.JPG

Too bad we can't stay.

75P1120424.JPG.0b04359e1e3c968a977c94aae6e33621.JPG

I can only assume they used to sell jewelry here. But now it's gifts and snacks. But still with the jewelry cases and chairs. So...yeah.

76P1120422.JPG.452248551e4132d6a0b422977e5b3168.JPG

I just Googled "The 7 Foods of Deuteronomy" and found this: Do not cook a young goat in its mother’s milk. 0.o

77P1120469.JPG.ba09b24d89fc7f65be9ae625c13adff4.JPG

Forever and ever, ABBA.

78P1120476.JPG.1d50851764ce2e7c57f3382bbc554a18.JPG

His eyes are on you.

 

King of the callback.

80P1120437.JPG.85ba974a6598b62d21790f472e9870ca.JPG

Hey, it's been fun. Stay out of trouble, TPR. And when you drive past something weird, and debate whether you should check it out of not, think about what Erik & Smisty would do.

 

And then keep driving.

Edited by Electerik
Link to comment
Share on other sites

And so this thread has died. RIP thread.

 

...unless it comes back to life in three days. Then it is possibly the antichrist. REPENT THE RAPTURE IS AT HAND! Is that how it works? I don't really know. Also there was only one way to possibly end this thread acceptably and this was indeed it. Wow. Wow again. Wow a thousand times over. Jesus on the motorcycle is the pinnacle of themed entertainment. I am immersed sitting in my home. Everyone at Goddard Group, Disney, Thinkwell Group, whatever, y'all might as well just quit. Walk away. Nothing will ever top that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HOLY CRAP! (And I mean that in an epic biblical sense) This was the PERFECT send off to this thread. I am so happy we have a trip report to Holy Land I think I'm going to tweet them about it right now!

 

Oh, and this photo...

WHY IS THERE A SHARK!?!!?

 

It's like the Dave Thomas version of the bible!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Bad kerning"? I'd say no. Definitely poor design and word division, though.

 

 

Give unto us your Sacred Comma. Or perhaps they mean "Zen Comma"?

 

I agree with Robb--the perfect send off to this thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

This is so full of win!

 

I've read through about half of this thread, and I can't wait until I get some time to read the rest! Your trip reports are fantastic! Although I haven't read them all, it's obvious in my mind that this was the best send off you possibly could have done.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for a fun report on a bizarre place! What's with all the cutouts?

I visited this park back in 2005 before it was sold to TBN. To see what it was all about, of course, I am in no way religious. Anyway, I can swear the guy who took our ticket at the entrance was some sort of incarnation of Ned Flanders. Same mustache, same glasses, same voice. It was mind-boggling! Back then they also used the Jesus grave site for a grand closing show every night. Instead of fireworks, the park closed with Jesus being crucified, whips and blood and all. I have a video of it somewhere. It was crazy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, here it is: the last proper update to Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures. We leave for Las Vegas in a few days.

Soooo.... Erik & Smisty's Las Vegas Oddventures coming soon?

 

Certainly looking forward to Las Vegas. And a few years down the road, I'm looking forward to Erik and Smisty's move to Wisconsin Dells.

Edited by larrygator
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yay! You made it to the Holy Land Experience! I went there in 2005 and now it seems a lot gaudier than when I visited. The inside of the whale thing reminded me of the pregnant lady walk-through in Mexico.

 

How did the Holy Land Experience change since I visited? Check out my PTR: http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1565

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use https://themeparkreview.com/forum/topic/116-terms-of-service-please-read/