Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures

[BarryH]

^What if they are my Alabama relatives?

[Meteornotes]

Also, I might have a lunch date at the Columbia Restaurant in Ybor City.

 

It's not customary to use the term 'date' for a family member.

 

POST OF THE YEAR SO FAR!!!

 

dt

[disneyfan1313]

Great TR! It's funny - we have always talked about going to this, but have been warned away by people who have been because of how miserably crowded it is. It didn't seem that bad from your pics....was it?

[Electerik]

Great TR! It's funny - we have always talked about going to this, but have been warned away by people who have been because of how miserably crowded it is. It didn't seem that bad from your pics....was it?

 

We only went Sunday, and we thought it was a bit crowded. Getting the pie wasn't so bad, but once you had it, there weren't enough tables set up for everyone to sit down. (There was room for more tables, though--so hopefully they'll have more in the future.) Still, we had a good time and were happy we went.

 

 

I think I will take one for the team and do the Clearwater Marine Aquarium. Also, I might have a lunch date at the Columbia Restaurant in Ybor City. I should start "Barry's Unusual Experiences" and pick up on the stuff Erik misses. I have a lot of attractions where I live in SW Florida.

 

I would read such such a thread with much interest. The more the merrier, says I.

 

Speaking of which: Could a B&AS/E&SFO crossover be brewing? Hmmmm....

[Electerik]

As far as I can tell, the only mini golf in the Florida Keys is Boondocks in Ramrod Key. But it's not just a mini golf course, it's also a restaurant! We arranged things so that we could have dinner there and play the course on our way out from Key West. Just one small problem: the service we got at the restaurant was so ridiculously slow that we weren't able to start on the mini golf until dusk, and didn't get back on the road until dark--which had not been our plan.

 

Now, obviously, the service someone else receives might be different. And, indeed, there were people seated after us who were finished with their meals and gone before we'd even gotten our food. And this, no doubt, cast a pall over the entire experience. Still, I'll try to be as fair as I can with our review....

The Boondocks mascot is a caveman, for some reason.

As you drive in, the mini golf is on the left...

And the restaurant is on the right. Like every restaurant in the keys, it's open-air.

So, the waitress talked up a particular type of fish to Misty, but then told her they were out when she tried to order it. Okay. So she ordered a different type of fish, which unexpectedly came out as a fish sandwich.

My burger was quite good, though. And it was what I ordered.

You're not fooling me, Boondocks. I know a store-bought ice cream bar plopped down on a fancy plate when I see one.

Attached to the restaurant is a gift shop.

I like that they sell their own branded merchandise. But I hardly think there's anything here that would make one want to purchase it.

On to the single 18-hole mini golf course. this was interesting: Instead of just handing you a golf ball, they give you a token which you use to get your ball out of a gumball machine. Pointless, but different and cool.

On the other hand, somehow a simple ball return could result in a free game. Or you're supposed to just drop it in the bucket. Your guess is as good as mine, honestly.

The course looks nice enough.

Standard "adventure golf" style, but flags always add a touch of class.

There was apparently some sort of special "glow golf" event scheduled for that evening, at least some of which was already set up. Honestly, it looked pretty silly.

I liked the "rough" areas as well (though they're hardly anything unique).

Starting to get dark now.

A couple things of note in this shot: 1. the glow stick wrapped around the wooden pylon, and 2. the net on the left edge of the green, to be used if you accidentally hit your ball into the water.

"Hello, I'm a caveman. That's different, right?"

This hole was quite tricky. (Note Smisty over on the left, fetching the net.)

Wait, what does a Buddha statue have to do with cavemen??

Wow, a second round on the same course? How exciting!

 

Well, there you have it: Boondocks--standard mini golf with a few small flourishes and a questionable restaurant. I can't really say I'd recommend it--unless, of course, you're attempting to play every mini golf course in Florida. (But that would be crazy!)

[BeemerBoy]

Wait, is Buddha cradling a manatee?!?

[traincrossin]

I've been to Boondocks before, but I don't remember it being that, um, suckish. The glow golf thing looks pretty stupid too. Still doesn't seem like an awful course.

[Meteornotes]

unless, of course, you're attempting to play every mini golf course in Florida

 

I now have a new goal in life.

 

dt

[speedmetal]

This was the first course I've seen where you can buy alcohol. Maybe if you drink enough alcohol you won't notice when you lose your ball because it's too dark to see anything.

[Meteornotes]

^Wait, you can play mini-golf AND drink?!? This gets better and better...

 

dt

[Electerik]

Wait, is Buddha cradling a manatee?!?

 

Now that you mention it, yes.

 

 

Maybe if you drink enough alcohol you won't notice when you lose your ball because it's too dark to see anything.

 

Right, forgot to mention that it was so dark by the end that Misty hit her ball lightly down the green and it disappeared.

[Electerik]

One of Smisty's stated life-goals is to visit every Ripley's Believe It or Not Odditorium/Museum in the world. Of course, we've already shown you the one in St. Augustine earlier in this thread, and the one in Gatlinburg in the old Smoky Mountain thread. (And we still have one in Key West to show you as well.) But we actually visited the one in Orlando early last year--I've just been sitting on the photos because they seemed to be missing something. But what?

 

And then it hit me! What we needed was someone who hates Ripley's museums to really put this report over the top. And that person is freshly-returned-to-Orlando TPR celebrity Bryan Stoll! He and I visited just last week, but through some photographic wizardry, I intend to convince you that all three of us hung out together on the same day.

 

(Actually, that's just the cover story. The sad truth of that matter is that Bryan emailed me a bunch of photos of himself visiting Ripley's and asked me to make it look like he was hanging out with us. I guess Adam was busy. But that's just between you and me, kind reader.)

 

Believe It or Not!

Oh, crap! What happened?? I hope they're still open!

Oh, right...theming.

"I am a horse made out of horseshoes. Which is so lame that you don't even have to pay to get in to see me!"

This is actually the first Ripley's we've visited that was all one level.

Bryan, no! That's his dingus!

Meanwhile, Smisty is buying tickets. AT THE EXACT SAME TIME that Bryan was being perverted.

 

I have two cameras.

"Hello. I am dead."

 

That was really stupid, but it made me laugh when I typed it.

This entire portrait was created using nothing but nail polish! Which I found really impressive until "Ripley's-hater" Bryan pointed out that nail polish is really just a type of paint.

This is, like, some stuff. I dunno, I guess it was unbelievable or something.

Here we see Bryan falling for the oldest trick in Ripley's book: Hey, make silly faces in front of this "mirror!"

Smisty points out the penis sheaths while making a face that I now have to somehow come up with a funny caption for.

 

"Hey, is that your penis sheath, or did a Jaragua Lizard shed its skin? Bwa-ha-ha-ha!"

Effing holograms, how do they work?

Wall-E, made out of trash. Which is actually kind of appropriate. Because he's, like, a trash robot. Okay.

Uh-oh, this trick gate isn't gonna make Bryan like Ripley's any better.

No, no, that's a good look for you.

NOTHING IMPRESSES BRYAN

 

Meanwhile, my brain is reciting: "Now old Sam had two rules when he played pool. This first: You always bet all your money. And the second: Sam always got the first shot."

The standard man-hanging-by-his-nipples exhibit.

Bryan and I really bonded over this skull, and we are now best friends. (I actually wanted to call it a "bro-mance," but Bryan said no.)

The beauty and frustration of Ripley's is that it can in no way be considered educational, because anything and everything there might simply be fake. "Believe It or Not! We Don't Care!"

Bryan refused to pose with the world's fattest man. I am not sure why.

So this is, like, The Terminator. But he has a a bunch of other pop culture icons on him. Or something. Okay, I really have no idea what's going on here.

Bryan thinks this is fake. But I say it's clearly made from ver.

The Last Supper, made entirely from pocket lint. Which I found really impressive until Bryan pointed out that lint is really just a kind of thread.

Some Star Wars crap, a tiny rhino, and a porn star or something--ALL MADE FROM HUMAN SALIVA!!!

Droid crotch!!!

 

("Hey dude, I think we found your penis sheath.")

"I would really rather not be next to the crotch droid."

At least try to look scared for the photo, Smisty.

"Nope, I'm not falling for that. I know a two-way mirror when I see one. And I'm only seven."

"Now that you realize what a fool we've made you look like, come give us money to make a fake photo of you. You can trust us this time, honest."

Um....

That's actually really believable. Ripley's, you have failed me!

Now that I've seen a man shove a snake up his nose, none of this stuff bothers me.

"If you've come this far, maybe you're willing to come a little further."

We were all there at the same time.

Robert Wardlow was so tall, he could only be measured in bed pans. (Yet he was still shorter than a single Goodyear tire!)

"I am a horse made out of human shoes. I am worthy of being indoors."

Dogs are weird.

What could be scarier than a little kid with a rifle?

"Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless."

This is Misty's passionate face. We sleep in the dark.

This guy really went to a lot of trouble to draw attention to his nipples.

And this is Bryan's passionate face. Or so he says. I would not know. WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF???

Spinning tunnel is spinny.

My passionate face. What can I say? I get excited by deformed souvenirs.

 

Well, that's it for Ripley's Believe It Or Not in Orlando. For more big time Florida fun, make sure to check out The Bryan and Adam Show Thread at http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=45969

Edited May 1, 2011 by Electerik

[cfc]

The lamest Ripley's is probably in Williamsburg. Believe it or not!

 

Or if you're a fan of the old Jack Palance series, "Believe it or else!"

[Not For Sale]

Weird, this wasn't how I remembered it. Oh well, good thing we took pictures (I took the most pictures)

[jedimaster1227]

I do NOT approve!

 

I hereby decree that the next episode of Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures will have 250% more Adam and 5000.33333% less Bryan. My will be done.

[Electerik]

I hereby decree that the next episode of Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures will have 250% more Adam and 5000.33333% less Bryan.

 

Well, I'm no math wizard, but I'm pretty sure that 5000.33333% less of anything greater than zero is still something, and 250% more of zero is still nothing. So that should work out fine, since I still have two more Bryan-oriented updates waiting in the wings! (Including one that will change the way you view athletic competition forever.)

 

Still, we should definitely hang out. How do you feel about The Titanic?

[rosscoe]

I have never understood the American fascination with Ripleys, it's up there with Cars 2 from Disney!

[BarryH]

^^Yes, do Titanic! I've been waiting for you to do it over the past like 5 seconds.

[tiger01]

The Ripleys museum in Blackpool looks cool but I never went in. However I went into Impossible in the park which was free of charge and had a mini Hex ride in there.

[jedimaster1227]

Still, we should definitely hang out. How do you feel about The Titanic?

 

I would consider it...

[disneyfan1313]

Bryan - I am with you. I don't even remotely understand the fascination with Ripley's either. We can both be unimpressed cynics together.

[Electerik]

^^ Good, noncommittal answer. I hate Titanic. Let's go to SeaWorld.

[jedimaster1227]

^I would consider it...

 

And yes, I would do the Titanic experience... Haven't done it yet, so I'm open to giving it a try.

Edited May 1, 2011 by jedimaster1227

[Electerik]

I would do the Titanic experience.

 

Yes, but you see, I have already done it...WITH BRYAN!

[jedimaster1227]

^Treason I say! High treason!

 

And for that, we must go someplace that Bryan could never go. Find that place, and we will be there.