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Erik & Smisty's Florida Oddventures


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We only found it because our rental house was around the corner...how did you guys find this place???

 

Um...it's right next door to a mini golf place.

 

I have to admit, I'm kind of disappointed that you guys have been there and weren't as, um, struck by it as we were. I thought we had a real find here!

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Looking at those pictures of that Winn Dixie made me realize how much they improved. I remember one location while I was still living in Richmond, Virginia. It was cramped, rather dim, and while it was clean the interior just looked...yellow. That, and it felt very Southern (similar to Food Lion...but that's a Belgian company). This looks on par with a Whole Foods or Wegmanns.

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^Don't let the TR fool you. It's still quite gross, overpriced, and missing a lot of actual decent food. Not even close to Wegman's or Whole Foods, not even up to Publix standards.

Well good thing there is none here in Western Massachusetts. That one in Richmond (and there were several!) was downright bad. At least here it doesn't look terrible; now they have to actually bring decent food.

 

...or bring in more props from a failed Chinese/Indian/Thai/whatever restarurant.

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For the record, we'd didn't actually shop for groceries at this store (though we did buy some drinks and snacks), so I can't really address the whole selection/price thing.

 

I don't honestly think I'd be able to shop here; I'd be too distracted by the pandas and pagodas!

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I'm sure, in the miserable annals of the Earth, you shall be duly enshrined!

 

Well, I may have lost at 'Words With Friends' to Monkeyoverlord, but at least someone got my Buckaroo Banzai reference!

"Why is there a watermeleon there?"

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Great photos!

 

I don't remember if I've ever been in that former Goodings store, but I remember going into a Goodings near Disney. The prices were pretty high. Store brand soda was like $4.50 for a 12 pack and this was in mid-90's dollars! Are there any Goodings left in Central Florida?

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^Don't let the TR fool you. It's still quite gross, overpriced, and missing a lot of actual decent food. Not even close to Wegman's or Whole Foods, not even up to Publix standards.

 

I live pretty much right down the road from this and yeah.... the only people who go there are the new arrivals of vacation homes who simply don't know any better. Deals are absolute crap and the things you would want usually aren't in stock and if they *gasp* are then they're probably $2 more expensive than somewhere else.

 

The Publix about 1.5 miles down the road (now with its very own Orlando Alehouse---- which is awesome) is just a better place because of Buy One- Get Ones and less sketchy food.

 

Great photos!

 

I don't remember if I've ever been in that former Goodings store, but I remember going into a Goodings near Disney. The prices were pretty high. Store brand soda was like $4.50 for a 12 pack and this was in mid-90's dollars! Are there any Goodings left in Central Florida?

 

The only one that I know of still in existence is at the Crossroads off of 535/Apopka-Vineland/"That place that Hotel Plaza Blvd ends"at.

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The only one that I know of still in existence is at the Crossroads off of 535/Apopka-Vineland/"That place that Hotel Plaza Blvd ends"at.

 

Yeah, that's the one with the "Main Street" theme. We checked it out briefly. Very high prices, but open 24 hours. Clearly, it exists for the tourists in the nearby hotels.

 

/History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I would like to thank you guys so much for the suggestion of Jaxson's. Colin, Renee, my roommate and myself drove down there today and (in addition to Uncle Bernie's and DBH) checked out Jaxson's. The sundaes were just absolutely amazing!

 

Keep the reports coming

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And now for a funky, old-school Florida tourist attraction that we were ready to visit based on its name alone:

 

Monkey Jungle

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I'm slightly excited. In fact, I was pretty much chanting "Monkey Jungle" in the car all the way from Orlando to Miami.

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How old-school is it? How about it was established in 1933!

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No, I don't know why one of the employees is wearing a Planet Hollywood shirt. But I can tell you that admission is $29.95. (Which, honestly, strikes me as pretty high for what this is.)

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You enter and exit through the gift shop. Note the monkeys who wish they could come in and shop. "Dude, I totally want some of that sweet banana-flavored dental floss!"

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Sweet banana-flavored dental floss.

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Just outside the gift shop is Monkey Jungle's only eatery. Note that they sell both human food and monkey food.

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Welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games!

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Smisty quickly realizes that shes on the wrong side of the fence. Note the feeding cup just to the right of her. You put food in it, and the monkeys draw it up to the top.

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"Wait, how do I...? I do what now?"

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"Do not let your children touch the monkeys."

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"That is a total myth, and I am insulted by it."

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These monkeys are in a cage. But I thought we were supposed to be in the cages. Oh, we are still? I'm so confused. How about I just touch the monkeys?

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Look, people who can't read!

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"I will devour your soul." ("Your soul is made of raisins, right?")

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I know you're not going to read all this, but let me just summarize sentence number two for you: THIS IS THE HOLE WHERE WE THROW THE DEAD MONKEYS!

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"But I don't want to get thrown in a hole."

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"The death hole makes me angry!"

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The guy with the radio was funny. Not, wait, not funny, what's that other word? Disturbing. Okay, he was both. He called the orangutan his girlfriend. Which I was almost okay with. But then he started talking about shopping for gifts for her at Victoria's Secret, and I ran away.

 

I swear I am not making this up.

 

THEY THROW THE DEAD MONKEYS INTO A HOLE

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This area appears to have once been someplace you could just go in on your own. But now it's closed off when not being used for a presentation.

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Same guy. The gorilla's name is King. He enjoys finger-painting.

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Okay, anti-animal-captivity-folks, you're gonna love this one: King drinks iced tea and his favorite TV show is Ellen.

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That sounds fun. Let's go in there.

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Hmmm, no monkeys. And we're outside now. So...how exactly do they keep the monkeys on the preserve? I mean, there's like an 8-foot chain-link fence around the place, but...they're monkeys. I should have asked an employee. The question haunts me now. Do the neighbors wake up to find monkeys watching them through their bedroom windows? I'm going to assume yes.

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"Were not monkeys, but we'll take some of that sweet monkey food!"

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"Hey Ralph, you wanna pretend we're monkeys so we can get some monkey food? Henry's gonna do it!"

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"I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response, Maurice."

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MONKEY SWIMMING POOL!

 

(Not to be confused with the Monkey Death Hole.)

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Daredevil butt monkey.

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Not sure how I got out of here without having to give Misty $2.00. Maybe she didn't see these.

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Okay, Misty, are you ready to feed a monkey?

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"Oh yes, oh please, oh please, oh please!"

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Um..."Robert Is Here"?

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I don't see any of that stuff on the park map.

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Photo op! (With the help of my camera's timer and a nearby table.)

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Annnnnnd...back to the gift shop.

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Now here's a unique souvenir.

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I opted for the banana penis shirt instead. (Look for it in an upcoming Oddventure!)

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I'm not sure what this guy's job is, since parking is free. We didn't really ever get very close to him. I'm honestly not even 100% sure that he works there. Maybe he's a protester. Or perhaps he makes sure that you don't drive away with any monkeys on your car.

 

Wait, it all makes sense now! He keeps the monkeys there. And they know that if they try to escape, he will throw them into the Death Hole!

 

MONKEY JUNGLE MONKEY JUNGLE MONKEY JUNGLE !!!

Edited by ernierocker
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I live like 5-10 minutes north of Monkey Jungle and about 5-10 minutes west of Zoo Miami,I think I went to Monkey Jungle like 20 years ago when I was like 10-11 years old and wasn't impressed so I haven't felt the need to visit since.I am amazed that they're charging $30 to get in there,the Zoo is like half that much and at least close to a full day attraction,how long did it take you to see everything at Monkey Jungle,it couldn't be more than 2-3 hours.Then again I haven't been there in 2 decades maybe it's improved.

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Please tell me you had a coupon!

 

We've been able to get into a few of these places for free (or at a greatly discounted rate), thanks to certain connections that I'd rather not go into detail about, lest some flippant negative remark on my part end up depriving someone else of such privileges in the future.

 

In any case, we did enjoy Monkey Jungle. But yeah, there's no way it's worth $30.00.

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