timetrial3141592 Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 Here are some. Keyboard not detected--press F4 to continue.Mouse not detected-- (click me to continue.)Monitor not detected--follow on-screen instructions.COFFEE.SYS missing--place cup in holder and press any key to continue.On a bag of chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.On batteries: Do not dispose of in a fire.On Ashnod's Coupon (a Magic card): This coupon is void if folded spindled detonated pillaged, or otherwise disenchanted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coasterdude5 Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 You could win 10,000 Dollars! Will be paid over 50 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kat11joe Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 calling Verizon customer service and being transferred to dsl help line for internet problems and getting this recording Thank you for calling Verizon dsl help. All our operators are busy at the moment but we have a great website where you can get help at www. . . . . HELLO?!! I wouldn't be calling if i could get online! LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DenDen Posted August 7, 2005 Share Posted August 7, 2005 All our operators are busy at the moment but we have a great website where you can get help at www. . . . . Yea, I had to laugh at that one, I experienced that one while trying to start up my church's DSL. Bell South does the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twister II Posted August 8, 2005 Share Posted August 8, 2005 T-Mobil Prepaid plan says in the commercials, no hidden fees... Well when you go buy minutes, you have to CALL them to get them, so they put you on hold for 30mins waisting all you minutes for prepaid. So now if I spend over 5mins on the phone with them trying to get my minutes or for customer service, I demand more minutes, for free. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteornotes Posted August 8, 2005 Share Posted August 8, 2005 On a bottle of Drano: Do Not Drink dt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angry_Gumball Posted August 8, 2005 Share Posted August 8, 2005 -A VHS tape that instructs you how to repair your VCR -On the bottom of a bottle, it says "Do not turn upsidedown" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cllins Posted August 8, 2005 Share Posted August 8, 2005 Sainsbury’s food retailer in the UK used to have on a packet of there own peanuts “CAUTION MAY CONTAIN NUTS” Nick “Well I hope so” Collins Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteornotes Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 ^A company in the US did this on a bag of peanuts. I found it hilarious, and saved the bag for a long time. I suppose if the label said "may contain space monkey bits" it might be more useful... dt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 This is on my DOVE deodorant: Ask doctor before use if you have kidney disease. (ummmmmmm I don't get it!) On Target brand antibacterial moist wipes: Keep away from fire and flame. (yeah lemme put a match up to this B**ch) Will try to find more random things around the house. Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 Yeah I forgot this.... I once saw a sign for LOW-FAT ROCK SALT. :shock: :shock: :shock: Who eats rock salt? Ewwwwww! Katie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiCoastal Kid Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 I've seen experation dates on ice before. I was scared out of my mind when I saw ingredients for bottled water. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pvcoasterguy Posted August 9, 2005 Share Posted August 9, 2005 On certain foods with Splenda as a sweetner: Warning: Excessive consumption may cause laxitive effect. :shock: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maliboomer Posted August 10, 2005 Share Posted August 10, 2005 Yeah I forgot this.... I once saw a sign for LOW-FAT ROCK SALT. :shock: :shock: :shock: Who eats rock salt? Ewwwwww! Katie All salt comes from rocks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RC_dartarro Posted August 11, 2005 Share Posted August 11, 2005 on a two liter soda bottle: "caution: when opening, point cap away from face or other people. May cause serious injury." I think they had one too many lawsuits, because I'd never seen that before! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
USRoadTripper Posted August 12, 2005 Share Posted August 12, 2005 At a restraurant in Chicago in 1996, they had one of those towels to dry your hands on that you pull, find a dry spot and dry your hands (which I personally think are disgusting, but anyway...) But anyway, the box the towel was in said "Do not hang from towel or insert head into towel loop." Good thing I was in the bathroom or I'd have peed on myself from laughing so much. I was actually laughing so hard that I didn't want to go back out into the quiet restaurant, and my mom came in to find me and see what was taking so long! -Julie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scarymy Posted August 14, 2005 Share Posted August 14, 2005 ERROR press the buton "k" for the next error page Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillMontu Posted August 15, 2005 Share Posted August 15, 2005 Here's a few I've caught on my PC "You haven't done anything wrong". That's reassuring. I think this is an Internet Explorer error message. No wonder I switched to Firefox. All your base are belong to us The Sims games are known for their very descriptive error messages. The original simply crashed without any error message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I often laugh when I read the information leaflets that come with over-the-counter painkillers and headache medication, which usually read along the lines of: "Side effects may include headaches, nausea, stomach cramps, distorted vision, drowsiness, coma, or in extreme cases, death". Why bother taking the damn things?! And are we now so flippant about death that it is merely considered a side-effect?!?! Lou- "would rather just have a headache!" -ise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozenflames Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 I found this whole list of stupid labels... (compiled entirely by user Slytherin Girl on fanfiction.net- i just thought it was funny) ~On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair) ~On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner No purchase necessary.Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) ~On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...) ~On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). ~On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." well...duh, a bit late, huh) ~On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...) ~On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." but wouldn't this save me more time)? ~On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) ~On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?...) ~On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)? ~On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) ~On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) ~On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) ~On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) ~On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) I give total credit to Slytherin Girl, whoever she may be... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zburns999 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 On one of those "u" shaped pillows you put on your neck when you travel: ...Warning...Do not microwave... Yep, I always microwave my pillows. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damien666 Posted August 16, 2005 Share Posted August 16, 2005 All right, I have a book that has some funny warnings and labels! Here are some of them. Toliet-bowl brush: Do not use orally (But my teeth have crap in them!) Fireplace log: Caution-risk of fire (duh!) Collapsible baby stroller: remove child before folding (No wonder it had that strange lump!) 13-inch-wheel wheelbarrow: Not intended for highway use (But that's the best way to go!) Electric thermometer: Do not use orally after using rectally (I wonder who was the poor guy that tried that!) This one takes the cake CD Player: Warning!- Dangerous Warning Inside! (It will blow up in your face! ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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