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Six Flags Magic Mountain PTR/Update 12/23/09


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I am a roller coaster enthusiast. Therefore I like coasters. Therefore I go to Magic Mountain (to get mah gang bangin' on!)


Today was one of the weirdest days I've had in a while. I saw a teammate of one of my cousins who lives in northern California. Saw my school's resident "a-hole," and saw a kid from my math class who attempted to smoke weed on Colossus (genius, I know). On top of all that, I didn't feel like riding the crap out of everything...and not in the German porn star kinda way.


Okay I said too much, ride count!:




Deja Vu-1


Jet Stream-2

Scream (like ridin' a jackhammer)-1

Canyon Blaster-1

That weird truck ride in Bug's Land-1

Megan Fox-1

Revolution-1 (surprisingly not that bad)

Orient Express-1


Yeah that's pretty much it, the lines weren't really bad, I just didnt feel like waiting in them. And now begins the photo portion...be warned, it get's very raunchy.


Haha just kidding, I'm ending it with a pube metaphor suckers!

"You never know when a Tasmanian Devil might be hiding behind your Sky Tower."

Okay I'm done. Thanks for reading!


And finally, to end this PTR, I'd like to personally thank SFMM management for reminding me what year it is, gracias!


Look at how far up the hill that land clearing goes


Riddler's funky transition...my mind is so in the gutter right now, that I can't even say "funky transition" without thinking "sex change." I need help.


SFMM History: This is track from the old dragon ride, but it hath been slain.


While Tatsu kiiiinda sucksish...it sure dun der looks pretty I tell ya what


I never noticed this cave existed until now...and this time I'm NOT talking about a hermaphrodite!


What? Racist? No, ALL hispanics have handlebar mustaches, you're just ignorant.


They've already started painting the Batman mural blue! Way to get on it SFMM!


And my boy Kevin demonstrating the other!


Oh crap! I forgot about these hidden penises! This one's a two for one, watch:

Here's me demonstrating one of them...


"Move along, nothing to see here"


Lunch time at the Longhorn Grill. It was actually pretty good! I had already eaten one of three little sandwich thingies. I highly recommend it.


...I GOT ANOTHER ARROW WHEEL TAG PICTURE!!! It baffles me why I've never had a girlfriend...


Gold Rusher, I didn't get to ride you, but...


Haha, you didn't expect me to take a mildly decent picture, did ya now?!


Yep...this is fascinating...moving on...


Rock n' Ride construction. Not to be confused with Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit construction, which I believe has finally gone vertical! (that was a slow construction joke, laugh.)


Okay, back to general SFMM updates. Here you see some little dude reading stories to other little dudes. It's pretty rad for the younglings brah.


Even cacti are dirty. And thus ends my string of SFMM penises as I got bored of finding penises. However, I did find 2 trees that looked like the opposite of a penis and was gonna post it next...but it accidentally got deleted. Just take my word for it.


Mooseburger? More like Mooseboner!

By the way, if you're looking for a mooseboner, then look no further!:


Woah Sky Tower, I didnt know you were also Jewish! BTW, this one's a 2 for 1


...Even in Thomas Town my dirty mind prevails!


Buccaneer? More like F***aneer!


Woah Goliath! I'm happy to see you too, but damn!








Okay so. I was expecting like all the coasters to be closed today due to rehab/the wind, so I needed a back up plan. This "plan" was to find a bunch of phallic objects in the park because penises are funny! Well all the rides were open...but I was bored today, so enjoy these next pictures! ;)

This one is especially indecent.


You can take away my freedom and my "stash" under my bed...haha jk, because of the internet us teenagers don't need those!...but you can't take away my *abused* animals.


Old and Busted, new hotness...if you're into that kinda stuff.


Oh hey Goliath, how's it going? You also look racially confused, but not quite as much at Batman so it's okay.


Goliath, honey, is that you behind Scream? ...or maybe it's a track spotting for the 2010 B&M :shockr:


Batman: The racially confused knight.


Oh Batman, why so blue? Haha, this pun is gonna get old so fast!


Okay, this is a major fail of a picture, but that's actually one of the rave lights in Riddler's station ACTUALLY ON!!! I missed getting my freak on all summer...ahhh who am I kidding? I'm WHITE! I can't dance anyway!


Okay SFMM fanboys: Where was this picture taken from?


By far the best Giant Inverted Boomerang/GCI combo in the world.


Maybe they're resurrecting Arrow from the dead to give their take on Battlestar Galactica the ride. I hear if it happens, the sit down side will feature ACTUAL rockets attached to the back of it as Arrow's old way of propelling coasters (ex: push off of the side of a hill) was deemed not efficient.


More construction, the land clearing goes all the way up the hill. Maybe we're getting a terraquatraxalite. Speculate.


First thing's first. After a quickie on X2, I decided to visit one of my favorite things with gaps...Vekoma gaps. Oh by the way Great America and SFOG dudes, OURS STILL WORKS!


My first look at the new construction.

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Looks like they've done quite a bit more on Batman's paint job. Last Sunday, the blue only went from the station to the halfway point in the heartline spin. Might even be done in a week!


The extra clearing for the new coaster is interesting. Could it be that SFMM isn't getting the coaster that's been rumored to come?



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Stuartnz: Yeah, the combination really looks nice, even better than how it used to look! Thanks!


EBL: The land clearing also got me wondering, yet it kiiiinda looked like the shape of Gadget's Go Coaster...so I have no clue what's going there, I'm sticking with my terraquatraxalite hypothesis.


Robbalvey: What could possibly make this differ from the usual SFMM trip report?


mcjaco: She wouldn't sign a photo release! She's too insecure about her thumb.


Jackizle: See above reply. Thanks, it's glad to know my hard work...well not hard, but work has been appreciated!

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Here's my bump from hell (aka) I'm shameless and want to promote the video I filmed on this day:

I've managed to decrease some of the shakiness and used makeshift tripods out of things...yeah I'm cool.


Edit: It's also the first video EVER to feature blue Batman...in the background...

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That was one of the most amusing Photo TRs I've ever seen. Keep it up!

Only on TPR can a 16 year old post pictures of lots of schlong shaped items and have it called entertaining


^I ddin't get to do an SFDK PTR because time was short, and I really wanted to film and enjoy myself...but you can enjoy my SFDK video if you'd like!


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^My response was a bs response, they're just what's cool with the teens right now


And short shorts are the way too go!


Seeing as how this has devolved into the pants thread, I'll present one of the pictures that I accidentally forgot to put in:


Even SFMM isnt free of the wrath of Intamin Cables. (buy a TPR hoodie, as stated by hoodie wearers, they provide great protection from these nasty little buggers)

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