Photo TR: Tomatron's view of the TPR 2009 Scandi Trip

[Shockwave]

...Here we go again!

 

Now for those of you who know me well know a couple of things: I'm awful at actually getting these things done, so in complete contrast to the main updates for this site, I must stress from the offset PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PESTER ME UNTIL THIS IS FINISHED! That way I might actually complete it. Also, since my brilliant/disastrous fence jump at Lagunasia in 2007, I did not jump over anything on this trip. So, I'm sorry to disappoint the bloodthirsty masses but I wanted to set the record straight before we begin.

 

I'm gonna try to balance a few choice words with the photos. I'm not a novelist, but I have a lot of opinions that I will not not be bottling up, so if there's something you don't agree with there's probably a good reason why. I don't just say things for the sake of causing argument.

 

Anyway, to begin with I wasn't even going to be on this trip. My budget simply said no. But after looking at the itinerary and how things were going to work, I was gutted I couldn't join the great group of people already on the list. Then after a chance to go on the tour came up, the opportunity was too good to turn down. Thanks to some skilful manoeuvring of money, I just managed to scrape enough together to afford the trip, and I didn't have to starve or eat out of rubbish bins!

 

So, just two months after I was officially welcomed as a participant on the forums, it was time to make it happen. On the morning of Saturday June 6th, I set off for Manchester Airport for the start of what would become a truly memorable 16 days...

This first of many group dinners. Tomorrow, we hit our first park of the trip - BonBon Land!

Most of the group got together later that evening and sat down for dinner at Hard Rock Freestyle Music Cafe.

...here's an example. Modelled by Larry.

But we did past this exhibit of weird and wonderful signs, which I will put up and some point later in the report. To give you an idea of what they were like...

This building sitting over the harbour looked pretty cool. We didn't bother with the little mermaid because it was too far to walk to, and it's a lot smaller than you think. Just like Joey.

There's lots of bars and street drinking to be had here.

A great picture ruined by a hideous car in the foreground.

Here's the main sqaure in they city. The very centre is the furthest point from any 7-Eleven in Copenhagen.

With rooms checked and baggage dropped, it was time to explore.

And here's our first hotel of the trip.

In Copenhagen Airport I managed to walk right past Larry and the group before I saw it was them!

That's my flight - 10:20, BD3892. Better knock back my refreshing Coors Light made with over a century of brewing tradition!

Coors Light! Damn, that's a light tasting beer!

And here I am! This truly flattering photo is brought to you by...

And this is inside Terminal 1 at Manchester Airport. Like most big airports, it looks more like a shopping mall than a gateway to the skies.

This was breakfast. Since I was flying to Copenhagen, what you are looking at is a Danish pastry. More mildy ironic captions may occur at any point during this report.

[piers]

You know this is in Sacndinavia right?

Its very good though!

[Shockwave]

I can't believe how tiring editing the photos can be - I certainly don't envy Robb each night after a day at a park on a TPR trip when he has to organise everything as well!

 

I'm so tired right now I can hardly stand up.

[Shockwave]

And without further ado, I present Day 1 for the TPR 2009 Scandi Tour from my view!

 

Day 1 - BonBon-Land

Flatulent dogs were never this much fun!

 

Our first day of parks was at Bonbon-Land, a park which is infamous for it's crude style of humour in the form of X-rated park mascots and merchandise. It's been toned down a little since my visit with Divv last year. All of the self-operated rides have now gone, and there are some more permanent attractions filling the park, and a few of Betty Babs figures (she's the cow with the enormous tits) have disappeared. This could be attributed to the park's owners, the international group Parques Reunidos trying to turn into more of a slicker operation. Whilst I can't really complain about this, it would be sad if the park got rid of a lot of its more risque attrctions. But after my visit, I've got good reason to believe that Parques Reunidos and the management know what they're doing, and the park won't lose all sense of identity and the quirkiness that makes it what it is.

 

The park's big rides are all pretty solid. Vild Svinet (Gerstlauer Eurofighter) was runnign much better than the previous year, and HanKatten (Gerstlauer Spinner) with 3 people in each car was giving out all sorts of head trauma and dizziness! The new coaster for this year, Viktor Vandorm (Zierer Tivoli) has possibily the longest train in the world and covers a huge area. Amazingly this thing is not a custom installation, it's been relocated from Panorama Park in Germany, and dives into the big lake at the back of the park. It must have been quite a job to get it all fitted, but it's a fun ride and a nice step up for kids who aren't quite ready for the two big Gerstlauer rides. There's also a new indoor area near the front of the park, which is a bit like a walkthrough Small World but with the annoying Marmite music that people love or hate. Sadly I totally forgot to get any pictures. But I was having too much fun on the ball pits!

 

Before I get onto the pictures, there's one very deliberate mistake I've made in this photo report. If you can spot it, I will buy you a pint of shandy on the next TPR trip that I am a part of!

And I'll end this section of the report with a photo out of the Divv book. Tivoli Gardens tomorrow!

Something tells me this boat might have some water in the bottom.

Proof that hippos have hydraulic mouths.

If you're a wild boar dressed as a hula girl and you're reading this, do not fight a big blue octopus!

But part from one little drop, it's mostly random stuff like this. Wave to the Native American mentalist animals!

I was a bit concerned when I saw the boats getting water sucked out of them. It's only supposed to be a gentle ride!

The second half of this water ride section is brought to you by the 6 men and 1 lady in a boat.

...and after. There wasn't much white water stuff going on, more like a light splashing.

Steve and Ben get ready for some beaver rafting action! Before...

And this is too obvious.

Divv carries everyone's sacks.

Erik strokes a giant cock.

That's a lot of train.

TAKE THE TRENCH!

Time for the big relocated Zierer thing!

And here's the rest of the layout.

Who's up for a bit of overbank?

This was the very first EuroFighter coaster made, and it's holding up pretty well.

Today's language lesson: Vild Svinet is Danish for Wild Boar.

Next up, it was time for some Beyond Vertical goodness!

For you layout geeks, here's the layout.

There go the chins!

Mark and Jon get ready for their chin-flapping-testicle-popping ride.

And thanks to Robb, it's all on film!

Chins will flap and balls will pop!

LOL! Nearly forgot Ryan was there as well. Make that a menage a quatre-hot-spinning-death-vomit inducing-OMFG kinda way.

With Erik and myself now onboard, Dave wanted to demonstrate what this ride does in a menage a trois-hot-spinning-death-vomit inducing-OMFG kinda way.

Robb and Dave can't quite believe what's happened to them.

Spinny Gerstlauer goodness was the name of the game here!

Good job Garfield's not coming here from Kennywood any time soon!

No entrance picture for this day - because we have a couple of awesome organisers who pull out all the stops, we were let in the back entrance for our exclusive morning at the park!

Big Mike bought his very own Roadshow bus for us today. Thanks buddy!

[Electerik]

Good stuff so far. Looking forward to you finishing it.

[mcjaco]

^ Not a chance.

[Shockwave]

^^Thanks Erik!

 

^And think again Matt!

 

Day 2 - Tivoli Gardens

Old wood, good food, and TURBO BOOST!!!

 

It's now Monday June 8th, and we're onto our second park the trip. Tivoli Gardens is a park I've been to a couple of times before. Once during the Winter festivities in 2004, and last year on a whistle-stop tour of the park with Divv. I was delighted to be going back again this year, because last year was nothing more than a credit run, which to be honest is a bit of an insult to how great this park really is. There's so much to do, from watching the shows, eating and drinking, the rides, more eating and drinking, just taking in the atmosphere, and maybe a little more eating and drinking as well. I've never been to a park with so many different eateries - and a lot of them can be accessed from outside the park as well, so even if you're not wanting to pay to enter the park. you can still go for a meal there.

 

It's one of the oldest amusement parks in the world, and the history and charm is inescapable. But despite this, the old mixes with the new in a fantastic collection of rides that suit every taste. The coasters are all enjoyable and a lot of fun. The B&M Floorless coaster Daemonen (that's Demon for you translation geeks) is short, sweet and packs a nice little punch. The old side friction woodie Rutschebanen (Roller Coaster) is great fun and you really feel at the mercy of the driver who's doing the braking. We were lucky enough to get a backstage tour of the woodie, which was a history lesson, woodwork class and photo opportunity all rolled into one, and I'd like to say thanks to the park for putting on an awesome event for us, and of course thanks to our wonderful organisers for making it happen.

 

The new ride for 2009 is Vertigo, a giant spinning-centrifuge-WTF-is-going-on machine, which is like a Fabbri booster, but a lot more fun, as you can spin in almost any direction you wish and max out at an amazing 5Gs!!!! (for you G-Force freaks). It was a lot of fun, but on a midsummers day will be packed with people trying to ride it. At only 4 people per plane, it's not a crowd shifter. And because of this, on busy days Tivoli operates a timeslot ticket system to prevent massive lines. Busy day or not, I would recommend that anyone who loves a fast, intense ride to try this out. I loved it.

 

And I loved the park - so here come a good few photos!

How close can Big Mike get? Winner gets the first body part he loses!

 

Part 2 of Tivoli coming soon..

Mark suddenly bears a resemblence to pro-wrestler and actor Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

The line to get the best photo spots was huge.

"We're gonna get those terrorists. Now watch me crash this sucker."

After a recent celebrity was found working at the park, Tivoli's employment standards were under severe scrutiny.

That didn't happen. So here's a picture of Bike Mike.

Robb can actually defy gravity. No photoshop here. Really. Honest.

Now for some exclusive photo time.

This cable lift is old enough to be Millennium Force's cable lift's Grandad. And 10 Goon points to me for that awful caption,

10 Goon points for the first person who spots where the workshop is on this map.

Grab your tissues geek squad, he's got a tape measure!

Sexy.

There should be an ironic caption after those previous tool references, but you'll just have to make do with this coaster nerd porn instead.

These are bigger tools.

These are tools.

Time for a wood shop lesson.

This is what coaster bowels look like.

Not the wall of horror - this is another wall where the ride-ops wacky photos end up.

But not before the Big Man gets a piece!

Robb found some tits and ass after all!

But if they break the ride they end up on here! Not literally, just their name. Would be a bit cruel to just nail them up.

The ride staff can relax here.

The park's PR manager took us inside the bowels of the woodie.

Dave makes me think of Shiny Happy People by R.E.M. here. Don't ask why.

Ryan doesn't know it, but Jon's been storing that one up all morning.

Good beard.

Robb gets in on the filming as well, but sadly there were no tits and ass on display yet.

Hanno literally strangles himself for the perfect shot.

Well if you're being filmed by a stunning Danish girl, your piece better not get crushed!

Groinage checking was popular this morning.

Right turn.

Dave.

Left turn.

Despite the look of incredible speed on Larry's face, this is from lift hill.

And here's a good classic to start the day off with!

One of the iconic buildings inside the park.

It's Tivoli Gardens!

Clue - It's not Freestyle Music Cafe.

So where are we going again, Robb?

[almightyfire]

Who is the guy that looks like he isnt riding in the train and what is his purpose?

[ginzo]

^That's the brakeman. Scenic railways are side friction coasters, which means they don't have any upstop wheels. The trains can literally derail. So, they have a ride operator who rides along and brakes the ride as needed so it doesn't derail.

 

At Tivoli Gardens they have a "Wall of Horror" to give dubious honor to any brakemen that derail the train. Apparently, derailment isn't a big deal in terms of injuring any riders. It's just a pain in the ass for maintenance to hoist the trains back onto the tracks.