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We at the Firebaugh Chamber of Commerce hope you've enjoyed this look at Bon Bon Land as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you.

 

Of course, we have no idea what we've just brought you. Send us a postcard if you figure it out.

 

But, what the hell, Chuck works cheap.

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We escaped--yet the madness lingers. Thanks for reading so far.

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Fortunately, Liver Lips McGraw was there to show us the way out. He’s had a tough go of it since they fired him at Disneyland. I’m glad that he found a new gig.

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Some merely gave in to despair.

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Others resorted to violence.

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“That train just goes in a circle! Their ride will never end! Haw, haw, haw!”

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Some tried to escape by train.

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What can one do in the face of such madness?

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. . . and giant Demon Santas! (“HO, HO, HO! YOU WANT SIT ON SANTA’S LAP, MAYBE?”)

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. . . drunken aristocrats, . . .

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. . . fascist bunnies, . . .

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. . . murderous ventriloquist dummies, . . .

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And, finally, another strange realm of Bon Bon Land. Here you will find . . .

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I don’t wanna know what’s going on here.

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OK, I think I understand what’s going on here.

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OK, we’ve had the incontinent/defecating dog, the urinating ant . . . I wonder what’s left? Oh, the vomiting rat, of course!

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Fantastic trip reports, and oh, everybody out there, Chuck is right about the 'Gateways to Yosemite.' There are more gateways to the park than waterfalls in it. I should know. (see location LoL. Well, ex location anyways). You missed Lee Vining and Groveland. And Mariposa. And Oakhurst.

 

 

Chris.

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Angus McNasty, YAY! This PTR is now officially an epic win, and there is a pinning ride themed to the cat with the most awesome name ever, I am pretty sure he is the god of the cats. Sorry, but Eric Johnson's cat can't quite stack up to Angus.

 

This is awesome so far, Chuck!

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Chapter 2: If It's Good Enough for Walt Disney, It's Good Enough for You--Tivoli Gardens

 

Copenhagen's Tivoli Gardens served as the initial inspiration for Disneyland, and it's not hard to understand why. The park, which is hemmed in by the city on all sides, is absolutely beautiful, clean, and inviting. This is a place where you could just spend the day wandering about enjoying the scenery (and a good meal or two) without riding a single thing.

 

Yes, the park does have many flat rides that you'll find in other parks, such as a Breakdance or a Star Flyer, but none of them look "off-the-shelf." Each is very carefully painted and themed to go with the gardens and surrounding architecture. Even the park's largest coaster, a B&M floorless, fits in well and goes along with the park's "Oriental" section.

 

Tivoli makes excellent of its limited space. There are but three roller coasters there, but it's definitely a case of quality over quantity:

 

Rutschebanan--This side-friction woodie, which is themed to look like a mountain, dates back to 1914. A brakeman rides in the middle of each train to regulate the ride's speed; well, the brakemen were running it all out the day we were there! There's actual airtime on this old bad boy, along with some very dark, deceptive tunnels. This is still the most popular ride in the park, despite the presence of . . .

 

Daemonen--This is the smallest, cutest B&M ever! It took a lot of ingenuity to pack so many inversions into such a small space, and the ride is a bit frantic, but a lot of fun. My congratulations to Tivoli and B&M for pulling off quite a feat of design and engineering here--Daemonen's a winner.

 

Karavansen--This kid-friendly coaster moves at a pretty good clip and is very nicely landscaped with an Arabian theme. Note to U.S. theme parks: Not all kiddie coasters have to sit on just bare concrete slabs. Landscaping is your friend.

 

The park also has two dark rides. The Flying Trunk takes you through what Elissa described as the "ADD" version of the stories of Hans Christian Anderson; for example, "Once upon a time a little mermaid fell in love with a man, but she made a bad bargain" (that's it). Minen is a boat ride about strange "monkey bears" that work in a mine and take care of a dragon (near as I can tell, anyway). Vertigo is the park's latest attraction, and let's say that it takes the classic "Hammer" ride to an all new level.

 

There's a great funhouse and one of those standard Mack mine-train powered coasters, too.

 

Now let's take a look and see what Walt Disney found so appealing.

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Rock on for another 95 years Rutschebanen! And thumbs up to your brakeman, Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart! More to come from Tivoli.

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"We found your former president's appendage right over there! But a little Crazy Glue and he was as good as new!"

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"You see? Your former president lost an appendage on Rutschebanen! Now he is doomed to work as a brakeman forever!"

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"Please keep all appendages clear of the cable--or else we will make you clean up the ride later!"

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Intrepid TPR mountaineers continue to climb Rutschebanen.

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For all you motor geeks out there.

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"I'm drivin' in my car now!/I guess that you couldn't see, yeah, yeah, yeah!/ Now you're under my wheels, honey!/Why won't you let me be?"

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. . . best get out of the way fast!

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Here's one of Rutschebanen's tricky tunnels. Now, if something comes a'rumblin' . . .

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Hmm--doesn't look like the side-friction has chafed her much, either.

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Another reason why TPR trips rule--backstage tours!

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And there's plenty of air.

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This old sucker was running balls out during ERT.

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And yay for hot Danish TV reporters!

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And it doesn't even chafe!

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Yay for side-friction ERT!

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. . . Rutschebanan!"

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"Do not make eye contact with the stick men! Do not touch the stick men! Leave them alone, and they'll leave you alone! Now please follow me to . . .

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"Hmm--which finger to pull? So many decisions . . ."

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"What's the matter Scottish Steve?"

 

"No one told me there'd be giant stick people!"

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My god! First a giant stick pirate, and now a giant headless stick man? What chamber of horrors is this?

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. . . to keep something else in?

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Are these gates meant to keep us out or . . .

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Here's our anxious group, waiting--yet the gates remain closed.

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I wonder if Rasmus is a Tivoli fan?

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This chapter is brought to you by the Committee to Elect Rasmus Paludan to Something. Rasmus! Rasmus! He's our man! If he can't do it, then who else can do what we think, er, he can do? (OK, the slogan needs work.)

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Remember, folks--Vote Rasmus Paludan! His face is on a poster, so you know you want him!

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Hanno is having a nice nap. Let's not disturb him.

 

One last look at Tivoli to come.

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But Big Mike is totally into it.

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The Brits feel so cheap and dirty.

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"Mommy! The paparazzi won't leave me alone!"

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Looks like Kristen is all hyped up for the kiddie coaster.

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The generic name of this ride is "Flip Flop" (correction: "Flic Flac"), and I seriously thought it was trying to kill me. The Marquis de Sade is Pollyanna when compared to this thing.

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Yes, I skipped Vertigo. But I was dumb enough to ride the Dragon.

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Of course, it took a bit of doing to get used to the controls. (I can't even tell if this picutre is right side up.)

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But those who did loved it.

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Here's Vertigo. I didn't try this sucker.

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Tivoli is beautiful. That is all.

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Aw! It even has its own toy Great Wall. Isn't that adorable?

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. . . and squeeze it!"

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. . . and love it . . .

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. . . and pet it . . .

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"Can we play with Daemonen, George?" We will hug it . . .

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Time for some ERT on the cutest, lil-old floorless coaster you ever saw!

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Next stop, the Mysterious Orient. Of Denmark.

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Rasmus Paludan thanks you for your support. And if you didn't support him, well, guess who will be the first ones up against the wall after he's elected! Yeah, screw you, guys, he's goin' home!

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. . . we say "good night" to Tivoli Gardens. My thanks to the park's awesome staff for making this such a great day!

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And as night falls (very sl-o-o-o-o-wly) and the swing band starts playing . . .

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And this is the topless mermaid who made a "bad bargain."

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This is the "Flying Trunk" ride.

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They gave TPR members pointed sticks! Madness!

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This place is very trusting.

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More TPR mayhem--this time on Tivoli's Jules Verneish bumper cars.

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. . . to ride a pinkish purple octopus.

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It takes a real man . . .

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Yes, many died or were horribly maimed--all in the name of fun!

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"OK, I think my brain was jarred loose back there somewhere. Anybody see any oozing gray matter anyplace?"

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. . . and Potential Deadly Injury.

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Next up, the House of Fun . . .

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"God, the monkey bears were amazing! Did you see that monkey-bear orgy! Outrageous--especially when Scarlett Johansson showed up! And who knew that Daniel Craig was so limber? Too bad we couldn't take pictures!"

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Within this portal, strange monkey bears dwell. But you can't photograph them.

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Good call, Larry! Much better than Danish hamburgers.

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Many went in search of burgers, but Larry found a joint that served traditional Danish open-face sandwiches.

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Flic Flac =

 

 

 

 

And everything else at Tivoli was just great, from Daemonen to Vertigo (Gooooooo FIIIIIVe Gssssssss) to the beautiful lake with gardens nearby and huge hanging baskets areas. Another Star Flyer to ride. The Flying Trunk was bit fast with the tales, but still enjoyable. And the little night laser/smoke show was lovely too. Our backstage coaster tour was fascinating. And Bumper Cars TPR-style was fan-tastic! And yes, we DO ride pinkish purple... octopusses, Chuck.

 

I really enjoyed Tivoli and it's nice to remember that it really was, a great start to our tour.

 

 

Besides Bon Bon Land (burp).

 

More more more Chuck!

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haha the Dragon Flic Flac was crazy! It must have been the fore bearer of that other insane ride, Kieppi, at Linnanmaki. I just remember they knew we were from TPR and gave us an extra special ride. Whether that was a good or bad thing depends on how much you enjoy being shaken, stirred and flipped beyond the point of comfort lol.

 

Tivoli was definitely a beautiful and fun place. Great pics Chuck.

 

Cheers,

J

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Great report. This was an amazing little park. I was astonished by the parks beauty.

 

Were you Ok after the slide? That is the exact location where I broke my arse which I am still feeling. That landing needs more cushiony material than that deceptively hard rubber.

 

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One little surprise was Tivoli had by far the best (read: most violent) bumper cars of the entire trip. I remember hitting some Asian girl so hard (with the car) that her glasses flew right off her face.

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^^I landed pretty hard my first two times down that thing, but I did make a fairly elegant dismount the third time. Larry was complaining about tailbone issues later in the trip.

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^^^Couldn't agree more! Those were the best bumper cars of the trip I think? It is quite amazing, I think even some of us got some air time on those cars after being hit....err...'bumped'.

 

^^I almost forgot about all the potential points for injury in that fun house. In addition to the slide, remember the turning disk on top that we piled onto? Once we look past the painful events, we'll come to realize how fun it was lol. It was actually one of the better play areas I think.

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^Sadly not anymore, legal reasons prevent a lot of the same gags. I think the funhouse and Jenkinson's Pier (New Jersey) is the best we still have in the US. Noah's Ark at Kennywood is fun but not in the same vein as the European ones.

 

The Allatoria at Williams Grove (before Williams Grove closed) was ok, except for the fact that most of the stunts didn't work. The one at Trimper's looks at lot better than it is.

 

I think I have been to most of the remaining U.S. funhouses outside of the ones in Maine.

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