Wes Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Hello, If you are reading this, I assume you are alive and well. Below are PHOTOGRAHPIC TRANSMISSIONS from THE ORIENT (also known as HONG KONG [china] and Japan [japan]). You will not like these pictures nor will you enjoy the captions below. This is brief and terrible. I sincerely apologise for this. PARTS I HAVE POSTED THUS FAR PT 1: YOU ARE READING IT RIGHT NOW, YOU IDIOT PT 2: If the Great Gatsby took place in Japan and you replaced Gatsby with me. PT 3: A little peace and love and understanding! PT 4: Hot, cheap meal ideas ideal for the Spring! PT 5: How I nearly died carting my luggage through a busy train terminal PT 6: I met T.I. and we freestyled over the guitar solo from VH's "Panama". PT 7: Things sure are different over here! PT 8: Osaka and EXXXCLUSIVE Manta Testing PT 11: RSAL STUDI APAN and how I was sexually assaulted by a Tin Man and a Lion And that's Hong Kong Disneyland! (in HONG KONG) Space Mountain, obstructed by large trees, I guess. I wish there was a joke in there somewhere. Birds, but at a 90 degree angle, I guess. I wish there was a joke in there somewhere. These birds are little SUPERSTARS! The WORLD FAMOUS Hong Kong Disneyland BIRDS! Here is a statue of a whale using his blow hole to propel Mickey high into the air. Now for an incredibly DETAILED look at Hong Kong Disneyland! In HONG KONG! He is jumping! Hey its the Batman building again. He jumped from here. If you do not remember that particular scene, I will provide you with a screen capture from the movie. This picture is not blurry either, the CITY IS MOVING INCREDIBLY FAST!! This picture is not blurry, the PANDA IS MOVING INCREDIBLY FAST!! THE SAME PANDA, A LITTLE LATER PANDA In this photo, you may notice I have strategically placed myself so that the clown in the centre looks like he is pointing to my lower (unmentionable) regions. This is a funny photo!!!!! (here) is the other one. Here is one of their rolly coastars. See? THIS sign lets YOU know what the sea manimals facial expressions will be like. To get to The Ocean Part of Ocean Park (Part of the Park) you must take this sky trolly to the Ocean Part of Ocean Park. Wow would you look at that yellow construction crane! That's picture worthy. Enough city trash, let us explore the wonders of Ocean Park! THIS is Pink Eye he is the ruler of the HONG Kong underground! Can YOU spot the HIDDEN MICKEY??? If you have ever WONDERED what a bird would look like with geometric squares layed over it, this picture will aid in your request. Not the actual bruce lee, just a statue =( (also bruce lee wasnt black) This building is The Batman Building, because Batman jumped off of here in the movie Batman 6: Dark Nights (Super) Star Aquarius, the only cruise ship in the world that can navigate treacherous uphill oceans. This picture is not crooked, HONg KONG is built on a 25 degree angle. Ian finds a new mate as well, but she has GLUED HER ARM TO her FACE. I find NEW MATE she is not dimensional and she is holding a fish book. In HONG KONG a red car is a sign of wealth and respect, they are also driven by dragons. HONG KONG unlike america they do not have spaghetti and coca cola they have noodles and ca cola You must take them in PORTRAIT MODE! in HONG KONG the buildings are SO TALL that they cannot be captured in landscape mode =( YES we did not take a BOAT or TRAIN or a CAR to Hong Kong we took a plane. This picture is not blurry WE ARE JUST MOVING FAST! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robbalvey Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Do you think we can charge people for every time they pee while reading this? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CD Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 the Dark Night "picture reference" is hilarious. Thank you for this photo TR, Wes. It's so funny! seriously... hilarious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginzo Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I actually did laugh out loud at the Batman illustration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeemerBoy Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 The Batman screen capture was all kinds of AWESOME. And fast! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Electerik Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Hooray! A rare Wes TR! I would wish for more of these, but that would be like having Christmas every day. Also, I assume that Wes is needed elsewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downunder Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Here's a text message (17/2) I received from Ian while you were there: "Its -7 wind chill here at disney so cold". Reading between the lines - "may have to make sexy time with Wes to keep warm". I almost went on this trip, this report makes me glad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratdogg68 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Loved it Wes, can't quit peeing on myself. Classic man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I'm almost 50, so I pee on myself without a trip report. But this was a treat. Hopefully I'll get to Hong Kong sometime. I'll get a lot of exercise walking up that 25-degree slope everywhere I go. Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 the Dark Night "picture reference" is hilarious. Thank you for this photo TR, Wes. It's so funny! seriously... hilarious Much better than anything in the actual movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEADCHEEZ Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I just caused my brother to lose his game by laughing so hard! You rock Wes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
packfanlv Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Thanks Wes. I couldn't figure out why Hong Kong was so tiring. I always saw things crooked, but figured it was just me! Great TR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRapidsNerd Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Now that was just damn funny! Great report! In this photo, you may notice I have strategically placed myself so that the clown in the centre looks like he is pointing to my lower (unmentionable) regions. This is a funny photo!!!!! Indeed it is! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wes Posted March 4, 2009 Author Share Posted March 4, 2009 Dear sirs or madams or somewhere-in-betweens, If you have not perished since my last posting, then I hope you will find some way to make it through some more photos, this time of the city of Osakalackatacobaka (aka Osaka [japan]) and exclusive pictures of MANTA TESTING! Sincerely yours, Wes Perhaps I could make a joke about this being written on the inside of my pants, but that would be rude and untrue and very inappropriate. I will not make that joke. YOUR eye may be drawn to the pretty lights on the buildings, but pay attention to the sign in the foreground. Now old men in bowler hats know where they can pick up child prostitutes. FUUUUUUUU!!!! THERE (is a) GIANT CRAB ATTACKING THAT BUILDINGS!!! Your eye MAY be drawn to the WHITE MAN doing calisthenics, but pay attention the GREEN MAN to the right who appears to be ejaculating radiation. Billboard, billboard, billboard of the naked torso of a robot chick, billboard. This building kind of looks like a piece of paper, WILL THE MARVELS NEVER CEASE? Here is a very interesting species in their natural habitat! It is a Japanese girl, you can tell them apart from other girls by their slutty shoes and ridiculously low cut skirts! Bring a field guide with you on future outings so you may properly identify them. A FACE elected official. This fish is a member of FACE (Fish American Coaster Enthusiasts [you can tell because the fish is fat, like all ACErs]) and is marveling over the successful test run of MANTA. And finally the splash down effect! Looks like the wing DOES cause the splash after all! Zero G Roll action! Into the pretzel loop. First drop is looking smoooooooth. Look at that little guy, all strapped into Manta and ready to be flying through the course! OMG!!! MANTA IS TESTING!!! WITH RIDERS!!! This is a fish. Finally, we have made it to Japan Forest! My favorite forest! Is there someone on this site who has a fascination with Penguins who might find these glowing ones funny or interesting? No?...oh well. This photograph is not flipped the wrong way, THE FERRIS WHEEL IS ACTUALLY SIDEWAYS! One of the unbeknownst side effects of the Japanese bullet train system is that they turn you into shadow people. This side effect may last up to one (1) lifetime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteornotes Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Wes is god. dt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socalMAN123 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Wes is god. That is all. ---Brent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeemerBoy Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Manta is testing?!?!?!?! OMG That is gonna be the best coaster ever, yo. I told you the wing was gonna make the splash! I can't wait til the theming is done. I wanna ride MANTA one day. I hope my parents let me travel there. EDIT: Wes is pretty neat too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holyblakbelt Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 You may make a couple trip reports a year, but they make up in awesomeness! Honestly, if I did TRs like you do, I'd fail miserably. That is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the ghost Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 LMAO Those Manta updates were amazing. This is amazing so far! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueerRudie Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 WOW. And I thought my last trip to Japan was WARPED. That looked almost like what happened to me after a bottle of Saki....and a few Beers, and WAAAAYYY too much sushi... and WAAAYYY too little sleep. Nice Job. VERY FUNNY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
COASTER FREAK 11 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I love you Wes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deano Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Nice Patch Pants, I wonder if he has the Manta patch yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cfc Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Wow--Sea World's Manta theming is more immersive than I thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEADCHEEZ Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Wes is god. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikaru-chan Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Well because i'm a nerd I must share the name of the green fish with the hump on its head, the Humphead Wrasse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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