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Theme Park Review's 2008 Asia Tour!


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And finally, Caption #10 sent in by "live2tell75". He will receive a TPR Bag-o-Crap!

 

"I am going to freaking flip out if I hear one more story about "My

girlfriend" and if I smell that nasty smell again!"

 

Here are all the other captions that were sent in, but didn't quite make the cut. There were some good ones in there so it was hard to choose everyone's!

 

"Trust me, you'll like having sex with a girl!"

 

"Oriental ghost lady and our TPR representative demonstrate for us what they would do to that phallic tombstone behind the fence."

 

"The goofy looking redheaded man began to scream like a little girl, clutch his purse, and protect his crotch just at the mere thought of another ride on Dive Coaster. But little did he know he had more trouble behind him. Next, on the Twilight Zone."

 

"What?! Your telling me that Fuji-Q Had a less than 3 hour wait for Dondopa!? NOOO!"

 

If you think he's scared now, wait until he turns around!

 

And remember, TOGO makeup products make your face glow!

 

In Japan one in ten hundred million thousand people are born with only a massive head and two huge arms with hands. They are employed to scare tourists. This is the only time they are allowed out. Please think of the mutants.

 

"Hey Dave we nominated you for the sumo wrestlers sponge washing job!"

 

Ghost Woman Thingie: "Maybe this Coaster Nerd will have Braaaaains... The other 20 didn't"

Man: "Please... the only brain I had was knocked out by the Togo Evil many years ago!"

 

"Cher not only haunts us with her music these day, now shes out for blood"

 

"When my crew and I were talking to those strippers on the Internet, I never imagined they looked like this!"

 

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Its Elton John!"

 

"If you watch a Theme Park Review DVD, in seven days you'll die".

 

"Oh my god! I think I soiled myself!"

 

You cannnot handle my coasters - they'll chew you up and spit you out - Like I have done to this guy!

 

"You think they'll notice if I take it back to America to add theming to Knott's???"

 

"OMG why is my mom in Japan!?!"

 

"When Dave said he'd sell his soul for a video camera, he hadn't realized how terrifying Japanese Satan is."

 

"Why didn't I just go to Hawaii!"

 

"This is how I get when I wear my fanny pack around my shoulders instead of having it hugging my bodacious curves!"

 

"Noooooo!!! It's after my TPR Bag O' Crap!!!"

 

"Finding a nice Japanese girl is going to be harder than I thought!"

 

Foreground: OMG! A ghost! Don't kill me with your supernatural powers!

Background: OMG! A coaster enthusiast! Don't eat me with a side of gravy!

 

"So I'm Confused, Which one just sprung up from the grave"

 

"That's not Ursula! Wah! I wanna go back to Tokyo Disneyland!"

 

"Aaahhh...I'm wearing a purse! Oh yeah - and The Grunge lady is behind me!"

 

"Mom I told you I'm an adult now! Stop following me everywhere and making me use hand sanitizer!"

 

"after drug-career, alcoholic problems and various sexual experions, the thing from "the ring" had to earn it´s money at a crappy darkride"

 

Thank you everyone for playing! We will have to do this again soon!

 

--Robb

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Wow. I'm overwhelmed...

 

First off, great job EVERYONE. The captions were great. Eric and Mike: I think yours were my favorites! Special shout out to Eric for taking that pic and, of course, to Robb... BITE ME. (just kidding)

 

The funny thing is: I don't even remember what that ride was!!

 

Thanks all for the laughs.

 

-- Dave

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Our last stop before Tokyo Disney was the "Tokyo Teleport" area which has a ton of amusements, shopping and lots of crazy stuff!

 

One of the best arcades with tons of capsule machines is located here, Sega Joypolis is also across from the station at a huge entertainment complex called "Tokyo Decks."

 

Also housed in that complex is this update's showcase destination "Muscle Park." Some of you may remember Muscle Park from last year's update, but we made a very quick visit. This year now that we know more about the place we spent some time and all I have to say is that this is a *MUST SEE* if you are into some awesome 'wacky' places to check out and have fun at while in Japan.

 

Onto some photos....

 

We head out to "Tokyo Teleport" on a very crowded JR train!

 

"Why are all the Japanese taller than me?"

 

Tokyo Teleport is an amazing place. It houses lots of amusement areas, shopping malls, etc, etc...

 

Today we challenge MUSCLE PARK!!!

 

Muscle Park is home to the official "Sasuke" course which for those of you may not know, is called "Ninja Warrior" here in the USA!

 

And yes, for women to compete you gotta chop your nails!

 

Elissa's "s**t eating grin" on the hand bike!

 

Mike is the only one of us who was able to defeat the salmon ladder!

 

Julie shows off some belly on the arm rings!

 

Rich! Just pretend they are donuts and you'll make it!

 

Looks like Joey is going to make the hand bike!

 

Oooooh! Jew down!

 

Elissa is almost at the end of the course!

 

OMG! A shark is eating her off screen!!!

 

"I might be dead....but I made it!"

 

"Almost there... just a couple of seconds..."

 

"Raise your hands....if you're SURE!"

 

'I am woman! Hear me roar!'

 

Yes, Elissa is a Ninja Warrior fanboy!

 

Elissa says "I love you Makato Nagano and Shingo Yamamoto!"

 

The rest of the park is like Wii Fit on steroids! Watch your balance guys!

 

Smooth moves!

 

"Every time you press that button, god kills a kitten."

 

'With much concentration comes greatness!'

 

42 kittens...dead!

 

All the games here were awesome! This one you had to press the buttons in a certain pattern as fast as humanly possible.

 

"Ranking Park!" Is that anything like the Rankin Bridge?

 

It's like IAAPA exploded in Japan!

 

And yes, they even had Ninja Warrior for kids!

 

More awesome crazy games!

 

And GUNS! You can't possibly have a muscle park without guns!

 

I'm not even sure what this is, but it's got two balls and a strange looking guy.

 

Of course no theme park would be without some kind of eatery.

 

And if you're going to work out you need to eat! And this "Monster Burger" is no exception! Have a look at that thing! Each stack is a separate entree!

 

Mmmm...and burger that comes in a box that big has to be awesome!

 

C'mon guys! Scarf down that Monster Burger! Make Takeru Kobayashi proud of you!

 

Two wheels of numbers, a wheel of random geometric shapes...I'm so confused...but it's so awesome!

 

Baseball Tic-Tac-Toe....yup!

 

They had models of the real Ninja Warrior courses on display.

 

Fans of the TV show must be drooling right now!

 

Like many other Japanese parks you have to buy tickets for each of the "attractions" (don't worry, it's not as confusing as it looks!)

 

This game was awesome! Basically each person (Rich and Elissa here) have a movable piece of track that they have to move while the train is in motion. They move the track piece, pick of a block out of the storage and put the block on the stack. Then they have to move the stack and the track back into place without the stack of blocks falling over. Got it? Let's watch....

 

Elissa has a small stack of blocks...track is in place...train came through...looking good!

 

Rich's stack is getting bigger, train is coming around faster now...

 

Elissa just barely gets the stack in place for the train to safely make it through!

 

Woah! Rich has a BIG stack!

 

Uh oh....this game is getting close now!

 

Rich freaks out like a little girl who just got her training wheels off!

 

SKLOOSH!!!! Oh no Rich just lost to a girl!

 

Ice Bat does NOT approve of this epic fail!

 

"Jews don't play sports, man!"

 

Elissa versus Rich once again! This time, it's a mental challenge....

 

Elissa: "YES!!! I am smarter than a police officer!!!"

 

Right next door to Muscle Park is Sega Joypolis. Another awesome, crazy, must see attraction at Tokyo Teleport!

 

Joypolis is a multi-level indoor amusement park with roller coasters, flat rides, video games, virtual reality and all kinds of crazy stuff.

 

Spin Bullet is one of the most brutally messed up must-ride coasters ever!

 

"You guys are all about to get raped!"

 

but forget about Joypolis....GIVE ME THAT MOUNTAIN OF SUSHI!!!!

 

And of course the most amazing attraction in all of Tokyo Teleport...Condomania!!!!

 

Thanks for reading! Next up...the grand finale of this update! Lots of Tokyo Disney Resort photos!!!

 

--Robb

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