Jump to content
  TPR Home | Parks | Twitter | Facebook | YouTube | Instagram 

Photo TR: Chuck Looks Back at TPR's Europe Trip 2008


cfc
 Share

Recommended Posts

Chapter 9: From “Mini-Universal” to “Mega-Mickie’s Grove”—Movie Park Germany and Schlossbeck

 

June 29, 2008 was another “two-fer day” on TPR’s Europe Tour, with ERT at Movie Park Germany and a few hours at nearby Schlossbeck.

 

Even though it could use one or two “major” attractions, Movie Park was a lot of fun—a very nice mini version of the Universal parks. Yes, the coaster collection was mediocre, at best, but the park gave off a good vibe. The staff really treated us well, with ERT on not just a few coasters, but some flats, as well—not to mention the best lunch of the whole trip.

 

The park was quite attractive and featured the standard themed areas you’d expect in a “ride the movies” type of park, such as sections devoted to the Wild West, New York, Nickelodeon, and, of course, Hollywood. Here’s how the coasters measure up:

 

Ghost Chasers—Yeah, what can you say about a park’s coaster lineup when the best one is a wild mouse in half a box? Well, it is a decent mouse, even with the strange Sponge Bob “ghost ship” themeing.

 

Jimmy Neutron’s Atomic Flyer—This is a Vekoma kiddie suspended coaster similar to the Runaway Reptar models in the States, but with one big difference—lapbars instead of OSRs. So, by taking away the head banging, the ride becomes “fun.” Go figure.

 

The Backyardigans Mission to Mars—A rocket-themed Rollerskater. Vekoma actually makes a pretty fair kiddie coaster. Then again, they also make . . .

 

MP-Xpress— . . . the wretched Satan’s Looping Coaster. Yes, this ride gave me a left to jaw and few good shots to the head. Still, I’d rather ride it than . . .

 

Bandit— . . . this sorry stack of wood. Yes, Bandit was the worst wooden coaster I’d ever ridden (at least for a few days). Bumpy, shuffly, and painful—just no fun at all. But Lou and Steve’s on-ride video, complete with very appropriate profanity, is one of the funniest highlights of the whole trip.

 

The best attraction at Movie Park was the Alien Encounter splash-boat ride, with two nice drops (one of which is in a cave), rooms of big-brained aliens performing experiments on Earthlings, and even an earthquake sequence. Mystery River was a bizarre “rapids” ride with no wetness, but plenty of unicorns, elves, and giant mushrooms. The Ice Age Adventure was a good boat ride based on the movie. High Fall was one of those “floorless” Intamin drop towers with the bicycle seats. It was a truly frightening ride, and they should sell souvenir athletic cups emblazoned with the ride’s logo. We also checked out the German version of Shrek 4D and the park’s Time Riders simulator, which was OK (and seemed to have pre-shows within pre-shows).

 

All in all, I think most of the group had a very good time at Movie Park. What the place needs, though, is a nice B&M or Intamin hyper- or mega-coaster (or an Intamin woodie to replace Bandit).

 

We spent a few hours at Schlossbeck, a family park that reminded me a bit of old Mickie’s Grove outside Lodi, California—only much better. The park did have one nicely landscaped kiddie coaster, but the real attractions here were the self-operated rides (especially the jumping boats), the rather dangerous-looking playground equipment, and a strange “museum” of what seemed to be old department-store Christmas displays. Give in to the silliness of the place, and there’s plenty of fun to be had.

1466863793_MP22.jpg.9be9fa505e6649078f49279ff01379d5.jpg

Unfortunately, SLCs cause a lot of collateral damage to riders. More to come from Movie Park.

884979143_MP19.jpg.a0e49d93daf03603c2113698fede8a08.jpg

. . . great prejudice!

2059169078_MP20.jpg.d789b442416479fe8a733cbc45b78767.jpg

Someone blew up this box. So the army responded with . . .

937283843_MP18.jpg.8ac6577701c10ef7473b05b2d82ea8a5.jpg

. . . the SLC with the strange "military" theme.

1894370680_MP17.jpg.79fc07de83fa395a1494e0664dc5e223.jpg

I'm not big on spinning rides, but I rather liked this one. I'd definitely rather ride this than . . .

293163240_MP16.jpg.11ce8dc500bdf00bfea1cd324d9c6c55.jpg

Not even the spectators are safe when these two gladiators go at it!

201950008_MP15.jpg.88f94d486a49eb265a6136bb6d85493b.jpg

. . . Anything they can get their hands on! Oh my God! Hoffman has slammed Bitner into a claw machine! That's gonna leave a mark!

1914823601_MP14.jpg.357a264695e48e11a578515c5ab0c8be.jpg

Time for our Main Event! Bitner! Hoffman! An Extreme Hardcore Match! Their ring--Movie World's Santa Monica Pier! Their weapons . . .

1709850464_MP13.jpg.3cda1c01a4b8ed925aa2cc9132a1a01d.jpg

Lou seems to like it, but is Piers about to hurl?

1392057198_MP12.jpg.33ffc96400bf471d268a463a5cdcf116.jpg

Here's the perilous descent to Mars. "Pull back! Pull back!"

537051820_MP11.jpg.089ce1fe08a1230433efed6cfeb2a7b7.jpg

I wonder if this is the part where you go into "hypersleep" mode?

1396824100_MP10.jpg.11cec7aeefc9be202c16d042bb757a7d.jpg

Dave: "Hey, I'm on a kiddie coaster, and I'm wearing shades. I'm just too cool for my own good."

697016317_MP09.jpg.0d96f7b4c01c4a6544bd30ba70946280.jpg

Time for "Mission: Sinise"--Movie World style.

1845626483_MP08.jpg.09087c2db189e1f2a814155d785aa0c6.jpg

Way behind the scenes at the "Big Mike Road Show."

1743945927_MP07.jpg.6d4cc54f343f1709eb719253a1ea15a5.jpg

It's like Mulholland Madness--only under the sea.

2106118_MP06.jpg.cab789f373dddf9796a2a265825eeb24.jpg

OK, I didn't know that Spongebob and Patrick were into "ghost chasing," but I'll go along.

1776507732_MP05.jpg.9c43d641ad38ee88eea63d41b8c97f86.jpg

I didn't get around to riding this one, but I imagine it isn't as brutal as that "George Foreman Grill" ride at Bobbejaanland.

1514500031_MP04.jpg.b1310c5320ad44dd9909b34b78893ef2.jpg

How's it hanging, Brian and Mike? Any major "squishage"?

58947891_MP03.jpg.c7ce9fd72fd7e364f1c9aaf93369c0d5.jpg

There was nary an "ouch," "ow," or "$%!!@$!" to be heard.

454764785_MP02.jpg.400deb402ff55c8f0c9b30a1c68c4b1f.jpg

Yes, everyone, particularly Lou, appreciated the funky little lapbars.

143996138_MP01a.jpg.77123b4c9d3f261e64ba9d64b78cb1e2.jpg

The first pleasant suprise of the day--A Vekoma suspended that doesn't hurt and is actually "fun."

1816766656_MP01.jpg.6fe6a54a0942cb159fe78f160db520b8.jpg

Lights, camera, Movie Park!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 158
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Movie Park Germany, take 2.

1062691729_MP39.jpg.5abb3fd995856260ee64a79d73290b35.jpg

Yeah, we were all pretty puzzled by it. That's a wrap, Movie Park. Schlossbeck is next.

1810405854_MP38.jpg.96b7548421523ceaec3a0d5a780b466b.jpg

You have to walk through a library.

815797504_MP37.jpg.02ce9d5820fa823a098e3cf871464f18.jpg

Here's the entrance to the rather odd Mystery River rapids ride.

889926107_MP36.jpg.7d6c500910efd4578bf33ba456fbc238.jpg

I'm guessing that this was once themed to the Wild, Wild West flick from the looks of this station. But I don't know for sure.

151529238_MP35.jpg.1538a87c5cd8ef2cc2096e0eb0fe7f28.jpg

Team Larry was stuck in the Time Riders preshows, so we missed our chance to be among the first to ride Bandit that day. Unfortunately, we got the credit, anyway.

1109904050_MP34.jpg.675fc3206c200f7396216c2fd35b5e81.jpg

Being as all the instructions at Shrek 4D were in German, some of our group had difficulties understanding the attraction's more technical aspects.

1590561084_MP33.jpg.5d279708a0fe672005bccf9c9b43472c.jpg

Here we see the results of prehistoric frigidity.

858426511_MP32.jpg.26b50554ab023cef1867d097ab5d4fdb.jpg

It appears that all the actors are spent. But was the experience satisfying? Palentologists have yet to answer this question.

2120241450_MP31.jpg.e10b0c685f76d63566608460d4173e5c.jpg

Here we see an Ice Age threeway.

345163207_MP30.jpg.9dfbfd432b061876ead1207a6570b10a.jpg

The strange yearnings of this small mammal have caused it to overreach sexually.

1971198307_MP29.jpg.2431e80f47d76970bc20d688bfc5e8e9.jpg

Ice Age Adventure gave us many insights into the sexual habits of prehisotric animals. Here we see a strange mating habit of the dodo. This massive pile up in an attempt to proceate no doubt crushed many birds and hastened their extinction.

1970189915_MP28.jpg.473a9e858aa24ebf0b24bce148eaed0e.jpg

The Wild West. I wonder if famous spaghetti-western stars Terence Young and Bud Spencer walked these streets in search of massive plates of beans.

2117880599_MP27.jpg.2d12ec24a056e810991ee1c38cf6c910.jpg

I wonder if the Ramones played here.

128731778_MP26.jpg.640cdddfd14fb0c0c3786cd918057071.jpg

Let's check out some of park's themeing, shall we? Here I am at Hollywood and Vine--in Germany.

622012742_MP25a.jpg.65d28654048ae7d35486279b9dadd61d.jpg

Well, ERT's over. Where to now, Larry?

2099520330_MP25.jpg.f1c2f9b40f4e9669b0fcb6f0e96404e7.jpg

If this ride was a Russian ballet, it'd be the "Nutcracker" (nothing "sweet" about it).

315619758_MP24.jpg.c4d4275159215d07d69fca840260a702.jpg

High Fall has a pretty well-themed queue for a drop ride. You walk through an Old West sheriff's office. I'm not sure what the guys are smiling about, though.

2054526478_MP23.jpg.c62b04640e86d3ce5278e9e675c7f441.jpg

Hmm--apparently there was some sort of sporting event going on. Can't imagine what it was . . .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And now, some of the wacky Schlossbeck experience.

2050676264_SB22.jpg.493cf7a235ed7849723ae33acee49c4f.jpg

Hmm--why does Piers look so "naughty" on his horse? More to come.

499765966_SB15.jpg.290ab59ce86f31b159a3e70ff8377ed7.jpg

This can be settled at only one place and in only one way: Paris Disney--in a steel cage!

598449136_SB14.jpg.cd786213fc94c5f9d015393571f6ca19.jpg

Looks like the action didn't end at Movie Park, wrestling fans! Bitner and Hoffman are going at it Schlossbeck style, too!

1477060303_SB13.jpg.ec2bdab680151a3e2c56efafdd384c6e.jpg

. . . and his youthful sidekick, Bucky!

1968141759_SB12.jpg.ef1008aa81277ed9b122a95cde62baf3.jpg

Hey there, boys and girls! It's time for your favorite show! The adventures of Commando Larry . . .

895040749_SB11.jpg.490c79ffee5aeea2277ab7daabcee18f.jpg

Note to self: Never ride the twisty "wet-dry" slide.

804918007_SB10.jpg.5a83b9fd476ab4dd0c52d984776a024a.jpg

Hanno was there to document each one.

253903575_SB09.jpg.9c828ecf807f0827de68ce3f28ea0600.jpg

They gave us four laps on the kiddie coaster.

619186010_SB08.jpg.407988e75400534ac22e83e0084990a5.jpg

Yes, much smoother and more elegant.

738216021_SB07.jpg.5aa35c1848ea2946d087eacf9d0c6ce1.jpg

Next up, Melanie.

1214490959_SB06.jpg.0cf0e978e31374290f927fa1e96b834d.jpg

Hmm--pretty sloppy splash there.

8962277_SB05.jpg.a47a230d7169b442808b3be45a7b21f9.jpg

Time to watch the Bitners go down. First up, Rich.

1122420077_SB04.jpg.509dbf674de9dd8411a8e339f4286216.jpg

"Thank you, Lord!"

1896978483_SB03.jpg.cca9a640ade49c23a19a2a0dc08c8b41.jpg

"Dear God, please protect me from my own foolishness, and I promise to never sin again!"

2093235690_SB02.jpg.f7824396544619857b6317c9c5a97a7d.jpg

First stop--jumping boats. These were self-operated. You get in the boat, the next person in line closes a safety gate and pushes a button, then you pull a cord and up the ramp you go (only to drop down directly).

1598648707_SB01.jpg.85a644843bb509ba3c0dd24eb7209730.jpg

You are here. Or, rather, we were there. Unless you were one of us, in which case, you were there, too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One last look at Schlossbeck, where there are many ways to die--or go mad!

595132253_SB33.jpg.988de3aa1254c9132447f706e5185c31.jpg

"You know, I'm not getting paid nearly enough for fulfilling this pervert's fantasy." That's all for now.

1087882318_SB32.jpg.9da4aa8d851a0286e2fa86dcdee0b5b9.jpg

Only the power of the leprechaun's Pink Princess and her good friend Satan! Together, they vanquished the robots, saved the leprechauns, then went out for wings at Hooters. The end.

508785162_SB31.jpg.7b3cb28757cc4efc45d8d39336894cf7.jpg

This so angered the local chapter of PETA that they sent their Sacred Blue Robots of Painful Vengeance to slay the leprechauns! Who could possibly save them now?

1812395540_SB30.jpg.7781f9161bb56b6418ba206b8461a99b.jpg

. . . alien leprechauns from the planet Shilleagh decided to visit a particularly uptight planet. Unfortunately, their spaceship crushed a rare papier-mache crocagator!

1005988352_SB29.jpg.ab7b4c047f19525e9f532a74d0dd0da3.jpg

OK, I think I've figured out the story behind this one. Once upon a time . . .

1291613692_SB28.jpg.a76af6fcf3c41cee35b698cf07539240.jpg

But what about freaky hand puppets?

1927910452_SB27.jpg.3e42e1bc14f2827869e12a69f0672937.jpg

When in doubt, throw in a few monkeys. Kids love monkeys!

1279336169_SB26.jpg.92645f8fecf437d8bc6dad36d912350d.jpg

Behold the Department Store Displays of the Damned!

434628064_SB25.jpg.c4e6944b90e4c931af7621003466f689.jpg

"Sorry, folks! Unless you wanna spend 50 cents a scene, I'm as scary as the basement gets. But they freak you out upstairs for nothin'!"

2052236438_SB24.jpg.39140663365ac776ba8fe9c23315842f.jpg

But the true psychic horrors are contained within this innocent-looking country manor.

683746601_SB23.jpg.64c219f2cc07d69988ef35e42bedd3bf.jpg

In addition to danger to life and limb, Shclossbeck also has ways to damage your psyche--for example, the singing tree show!

1269071237_SB21.jpg.6df8bb3c331d41cd8e1346c87baf159c.jpg

. . . demonic trees (which, no doubt, house carnivorous bees)!

4013469_SB20.jpg.f67a5c1a4548839edc1a9d2df7e5446f.jpg

Such as these. I wonder why. Maybe it's the presence of . . .

1448999397_SB19.jpg.a5776c8a9924d6233681707e21acf6df.jpg

Hmm--it appears that there are some things that are too dangerous even for Schlossbeck.

711276340_SB18.jpg.618424277e6e521fd690090a659c2939.jpg

. . . severely.

908009028_SB17.jpg.ea1310a44ad6b57c4dcf41708751b5b2.jpg

Many chances to injure yourself . . .

1384331258_SB16.jpg.d34391245a9038c0c9c71f5872c4fe0e.jpg

Yes, at Schlossbeck there are many playground implements of death and destruction.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 

The last time i visited the park it was named Wild Wild West as you thought.

 

I guess it was ok back then.. but after seeing the dvd... i was very glad i did not ride it this time and took pictures instead..

 

Thanks for the updates

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another great one Chuck! Lots of rather neat captions there too

 

And folks, stay tuned for the raw action of the final battle between Bitner and Hoffman. When the Disney report rolls around, you'll see the climatic climax of this awesome grudge, in a STEEL CAGE!!!

 

Keep it up Chuck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chapter 10: What Michael Jackson Wishes Neverland Ranch Was Like?—Phantasialand

Phantasialand is the home of two important parts of TPR lore:

 

1. The Dragon Bar at the Hotel Ling Bao

2. The “Michael Jackson Thrill Ride”

 

Yes, Phantasialand was one of the most anticipated parks of the trip, and with good reason—it’s quite a place. This is where the Wild American West mingles with the mysteries of the Orient, the majesty of the African continent, the darkness of the Middle Ages, and the just plain weirdness of fairy tales. Very few parks are as immersive an experience as Phantasialand, especially if you stay at the Hotel Ling Bao.

 

The park’s coaster lineup is also pretty impressive, if rather eccentric (in all the right ways):

 

Winjas: Fear and Force—At first glance, Winjas appears to be an excellent indoor spinning mouse, but that damns it with faint praise. There are plenty of surprises hidden in the ride’s two dueling tracks, which I wouldn’t dream of revealing here. Winjas is wild and intense, yet very re-rideable. Everyone needs to check this sucker out at least once (or each track once, at least).

 

Black Mamba—I’ve read all the conflicting accounts about this B&M inverted, which range from “OMG! Best freakin’ thing ever!” to “Lame! Another forceless B&M.” As usual, the truth is in the middle somewhere. Mamba, while not the best B&M inverted (that would be Alton’s Nemesis, I think), is a very good ride with excellent themeing, which raises it up a notch.

 

Colorado Adventure (or “The Michael Jackson Thrill Ride”)—An excellent, well-themed mine train, with multiple lift hills and a very long layout. This was the best of its kind of the trip (until Big Thunder at Paris Disneyland). And, hey, it's endorsed by the King of Pop.

 

Temple of the Night Hawk—Yet another bizarre indoor coaster, with multiple (was it four?) lift hills. Basically, you plunge through darkness and past monitors showing green vector images of a bird of prey. If you’re a fan of the 1980s video game “Vortex,” this is the ride for you. And it’s a fun, if strange, experience.

 

The park’s dark rides are an eccentric lot, too. Silbermine is sort of like Pirates of the Caribbean, only with Mexican revolutionaries instead of buccaneers. Geister-Riskcha is a strange, haunted journey through Chinese myth (I think). And with it’s Peter Pan-style suspended gondolas, Gondelbahn 1001 Nacht explores the world of the Arabian nights. But, for my money, Hollywood Tour, a boat ride that’s a cheap knockoff of Disney’s Great Movie Ride in Florida, tops them all—it’s a hoot.

 

Mystery Castle (an indoor Frog Hopper on steroids), River Quest (a cool raft ride set in an old castle), and Talocan (a heavily themed Top Spin) aren’t to be missed, either.

 

And the ice cream is great, and it has a Roman vampire bat as a mascot. What more do you need?

1905829442_PL21.jpg.22db6af8e13139dc3ac02be18757294a.jpg

There is only one way to kill a giant rock vampire--impale it with coaster track. More to come.

2123298831_PL20.jpg.ff8145c14406ee3e39a61fc05fc1a496.jpg

This is the part where hundreds of deadly snakes dart out try to bite the riders' ankles. (Actually, I made that up, but it would be kind of cool.)

1370003892_PL19.jpg.92af0a3977fa3d183b927715c6f76290.jpg

You know the caption "NERDS!" springs to mind here. But who is the bigger nerd--the nerds who take pictures of the coaster, or the nerd who takes a picture of the nerds taking pictures of the coaster?

458649785_PL18.jpg.111508017ba151326a81be1e789ea475.jpg

Yes, Black Mamba loops before it strikes!

1121812324_PL16.jpg.3c0c876f3e0e37d944b7dca923e1c6eb.jpg

Good morning, Steve! How's that ibuprophen working for you? Are Miles and Ron propping you up?

236617984_PL15.jpg.17be26ef7285ffb59dac200a3ce8b05f.jpg

Yes, nothing like a little B&M fun to wake you up, right gents? Yes, everyone needs a good BM in the morning.

824105250_PL14.jpg.d3b845b867ad53b77e4b922a6cb1de16.jpg

Line jumpers will be impaled.

224915452_PL13.jpg.9b7501fcbf89aff1057e839c5e595071.jpg

My God! Mamba fused those animal bones into the wall. How's that for "forces"?

1900137596_PL12.jpg.af8e411dbccf818263ced8af15bb615c.jpg

First up, Black Mamba, which I found to be quite forceful enough, thank you.

1292008081_BagorBed.jpg.c07cacf997a93a2074ac0b4f5ee1c205.jpg

"How much longer must I endure your idiocy?"

1255109048_PL11.jpg.6add5eaa1f6ddef45943cf7c6545946c.jpg

Angus! Let me go! It's time for ERT.

291036936_PL10.jpg.cb792957bb49106cade0bbac51a0c4b4.jpg

"Heh! I just totally farted." Spain won, by the way.

1424722854_PL09.jpg.0fa3c2a661054b1f43513bc767851263.jpg

Oh, in here. I was hoping for can-can dancers. Oh, well . . .

1409468043_PL08.jpg.3bb152f2710601f80d7d59485c09c25a.jpg

Er, where's the game?

1736517900_PL07.jpg.0503f728be791abb05735a97c6b4052e.jpg

Germany was taking on Spain in the Euro Cup Finals that night, and hotel guests could watch the match on a big screen in the park's saloon.

943944421_PL06.jpg.ffb919a72a9d40ec4baeadf0b87b395b.jpg

The drunks at night from the Dragon Bar's terrace.

1604673849_PL05.jpg.b470392538beaae043c3b7915236af93.jpg

The park at night from the Dragon Bar's terrace.

198289593_PL04.jpg.5ab89d443fb6d5bb751ce246075e639e.jpg

Works for me.

465003997_PL03.jpg.4274480c447340d374cf34b3089d7b11.jpg

Larry always goes for the bunk beds. Don't ask me why.

59066789_PL02.jpg.3d50a643346adb29ce7b955a8b9f0b4d.jpg

You know, this is almost too classy for me, being as I'm staying at an Econo Lodge tomorrow night. But I'll take it.

1191735936_PL01a.jpg.e3cb07533ee7e5dc0780135ad22581c0.jpg

The Disney hotels have nothing on this joint.

1302529885_PL01.jpg.d141165b3bc317ff729de22106e88c92.jpg

Welcome to the Hotel Ling Bao.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Name your poison--fear or force?

849855779_PL41.jpg.206a95b827bc75be845b36dd910fdb88.jpg

Lasso the little girl! Win a kewpie doll! Still more to come.

1687144870_PL40.jpg.624a7851949f4d2284125798cbad4aae.jpg

Here's the park's Wild West section in broad daylight.

1286051805_PL37.jpg.0cc160973aedeb51263693fcbf6e7323.jpg

Hah! I have it! The owner of Mystery Castle is a sexually frustrated mad scientist who is preoccupied with premature ejaculation!

 

Sorry--Mystery Castle is actually owned by a sweet little old lady who collects Beanie Babies and listens to Wayne Newton albums. But thanks for playing.

856758595_PL38.jpg.02e01e05e43b971d02b05d0a82adf1d3.jpg

Balls? Lightning? What could it all mean?

2114441158_PL39.jpg.e9c6c597b61e6f9dac98c736878d29d4.jpg

Yes, the preoccupation with spherical and cylindrical objects is quite telling.

1336049297_PL36.jpg.9b9fd485c6cd1820a09fe6ffecfa1179.jpg

Hmm--interesting. Latent hostility toward the rest of humanity is clear, for this person's home is one, enormous obscene gesture. This hostility could be traced to frustration over some perceived "shortcoming."

211694058_PL35.jpg.f1bcbfdb0f49690bc8c221316c01c298.jpg

And now, it's time for "You Be the Shrink!" The fun game where you attempt to describe a person's psyche simply by examining his or her home! Today, we look at the enigmatic resident of "Mystery Castle."

1445976473_PL34a.jpg.c88224b44c0fb9609183387f10e823ef.jpg

Larry stayed pretty dry, so he decided to hose down random strangers.

548568195_PL34.jpg.fc52bc9377f570ac2639dc907269150f.jpg

Yes, I have gone beyond the realm of "dampness."

606454207_PL33.jpg.5bbf4ee67789869305b2f1ba78769082.jpg

Melanie seems sad, too, although Rich seems to like his rides wet.

518618635_PL32.jpg.9e91145efbb6f7086e98ff9cfb48735b.jpg

Team Larry rode it twice. The first time, everyone but Larry got soaked, which makes Dave very sad.

2064979799_PL31b.jpg.f975eccf80ff85896af530d0c490415a.jpg

Hmm--does this mean that a pirate with a headache can or cannot ride?

1638703911_PL31a.jpg.83e623e42f075c9685d4360112a0059e.jpg

I rather liked this ride, despite the lack of true "rapids."

1317193230_PL31.jpg.36753b63973adfc32366459b00e34111.jpg

You know, vampires seem to be a recurring theme in this chapter. Check out the "bat boats" on River Quest.

668173154_PL30.jpg.62d049ed7e49fbe201cbe62136883864.jpg

Yes, I have no idea what the hell this thing is supposed to be. But Piers and Elissa seem to like it.

99328244_PL29.jpg.463ee94c8981e12c4ce0bc2259d4d7e9.jpg

You can get good views of Winjas from this bizarre "balloon" ride.

585275022_PL28.jpg.716a845aa7491cec7d3410583c69d020.jpg

Yes, you'll have to go to Hanno's thread for better shots.

1454717037_PL27.jpg.e767001208da43fc823f5d1c72089401.jpg

It's tough to get good pictures of Winjas on the move.

407392213_PL26.jpg.ef3889bfa7acd9217fb09e61fd111e63.jpg

"I've captured my own flatulence and turned into this cool lamp."

1743972091_PL25.jpg.348e82dff8cdfc5ee8c8372ca2c9eff4.jpg

Hmm--I wonder if the grizzled old prospector realizes that he's riding with a vampire?

355244136_PL24.jpg.06280e7d27ef39c83d2f0f74bad4b566.jpg

"No pictures, please! I'm not wearing my shades, so I don't look near cool enough."

1154168261_PL23.jpg.04d34ba2d1cf41e90204a99a625e1d6e.jpg

The whole ride is contained in this cavernous building (along with a bunch of other stuff).

438953326_PL22.jpg.22d0fd14b0f61fd08f2d98c0b8e5eb7f.jpg

Yes, Winjas--the ride that gives spinning mice a very good name.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes, Phantasialand--where the Wild West met Michael Jackson and fled in absolute terror!

673681121_PL61.jpg.6f617812a71ba0bf55e76048785c065f.jpg

The ride that bears a terrible curse! One more set of photos left.

1608685628_PL60.jpg.203bfdf95833473dd106d179bac27ce4.jpg

. . . Talocan!

933206550_PL59.jpg.5a4510575669bf3b6762471fb91c2bec.jpg

Best stop to pray at this little shrine before riding . . .

921344105_PL58.jpg.e448259fe53f68ca8f9752d77685fb59.jpg

Hi, Erik!

1498753141_PL57.jpg.344f6d8a56bc2a52857ad261f7ac5a03.jpg

No, you've never seen an animatronic dude astride a cannon before.

190949016_PL56.jpg.2929759404c57969e7760a4cc21041d8.jpg

This looks like no scene in any classic Disney attraction. No sir, no resemblance at all.

1441199041_PL55.jpg.12fcc5b7b893c50021c67c1dd711eedc.jpg

"I say, Cyril. Ripping sport, this cock fighting."

439064985_PL54.jpg.d0f823d593d7725ccbf0e1982355f8a8.jpg

"At Carnitas Express, our food is so good, the pigs go to slaughter with big smiles on their faces!"

861146539_PL53.jpg.6ebe2c90365a302680df49da9e97eaed.jpg

"Hey--you promised me pole dancing!"

1227106225_PL52.jpg.823e8765e98a630e217c1cb9e950d574.jpg

And now, a trip south of the border, Phantasialand style--Silbermine.

1962750143_PL51.jpg.01e31ee73d72098ed70c11f13ad4e17c.jpg

And get a load of the special referee!

1994030463_PL50.jpg.e1b2ab6e345b0299b14764c2244a7f61.jpg

There will be no outside interference--not even from a dragon!

572837563_PL49.jpg.a97d64c6b8d01905bd094246be465362.jpg

And the followers of the Father of All Lies are totally ready for some hot action!

19663829_PL48.jpg.f37e0a60e1c1098a2915298fc02b571f.jpg

Yes, the Gates of Hell have opened up for this match!

884525889_PL47.jpg.2b1137427dc0f8d81213ef7f11ab7cb9.jpg

And the conflict continues, wrestling fans! Hoffman runs for her life as Bitner chases her through the queue of Geister-Rikscha.

1628585099_PL46.jpg.8c093130d7ad0f38191a2fb3893a65ef.jpg

Hmm--amazing how close the American West is to China.

1147588749_PL45a.jpg.68c4b3319183b79d9d5baf7336960815.jpg

"Hmm--if I climb high enough, Michael Jackson won't find me!"

1903961267_PL44.jpg.9d75d8871dddbf8f8fa3bdb41290600a.jpg

"The Micahel Jackson Limited, with stops at Neverland Ranch, Detroit, Yemen, and Dubai, now arriving, Track 2!"

1824275988_PL43.jpg.b5dac4821a8d0cddea19c96c0a9fb284.jpg

"I don't want to work! I just want to bang on the drum . . . wait a minute! Bangin' on the drum all day is my work! Dammit!"

875878343_PL45.jpg.10cfeea4d32574dcc3726108133f9318.jpg

And now, a real "Thriller!" Yeah, it's bad! It's bad! It's really, really bad--in the good way! Just queue up if you wanna be startin' . . . Shaddup!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One last look at Phantasialand.

612658366_PL76.jpg.09e12f624dd1f07f8d531b0dd7a62d9e.jpg

And now, a scene from the beloved classic "King King vs. PT-109," starring Cliff Robertson as JFK and George Barrows as the guy in a monkey suit.

2075783284_PL75.jpg.73dc2435b6115ad15465f6933a8228f0.jpg

"Hi there! I'm a tarantula! I really had Leo J. Carroll over a barrel when I took to the hills!"

1244742283_PL74.jpg.101a716bb2617563655d367760109249.jpg

Tonight, on Shark TV, the "stunt shark" from "Jaws" gives us the behind-the-scenes scoop! Was Bruce the Shark really a salmon in a trick suit?

940504165_PL73.jpg.cf5705c7ced0eff81caec2d907e1348a.jpg

Hooray for mutant, moth-eaten Hollywood!

976263966_PL72.jpg.c66fb5c287b1a4e17b9018b31e241aee.jpg

Here it is! With taillights! Sorry--got nothin' here.

1363435289_PL71.jpg.20662cf814fd86089505eaf416aa62f9.jpg

And now, Temple of the Night Hawk.

1243570455_PL70.jpg.d9d226261f4a1beff3fb5f9970bf0027.jpg

"I'm sorry about the drooling, folks, but that bratwurst just smells so good!"

472631797_PL69.jpg.ddbcbf2c93fb9e4704ba962d1f82a720.jpg

Oh, that's gonna bring on some heartburn! Poor snake!

717864625_PL68.jpg.f24feffc96affcb0cd0c154f8063e55a.jpg

What? A snake uses Vogel Rok as part of its digestive system?

634046727_PL67.jpg.310bf64cb62f5f3aa7447fc8f7e698dd.jpg

Hmm--I wonder what a snake's guts look like?

1179031997_PL66.jpg.55c5362cc4e2a73f37dbce285b7dd52e.jpg

. . . and down a snake's gullet?

933577867_PL65.jpg.dadacbf60b64db5d47f866f9dbe48268.jpg

Ah, a nice relaxing ride over a beautiful garden . . .

220776149_PL64.jpg.f3391d754c7355e1f0ccc6eeec4c6c84.jpg

And are you two "monitoring-needy"? Yes, I dare say you are.

1545648396_PL63.jpg.7f0e4bd9c73c5b802a6daf4ff233000a.jpg

No swinging like monkeys!

2121630083_PL62.jpg.f4982531812e7ccf10ebe5ed65ec5b5d.jpg

OK, young gentlemen! Before we explore the world of the Arabian Nights, we must read the safety instructions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oops! Hit "submit" instead of "preview." Here are a few last shots.

1715595980_PL83.jpg.f88f06febaa4cdbbdd19872cf92b27c6.jpg

. . . Rich! Thanks for reading so far--but the trip's not over yet.

768350420_PL82.jpg.baf5fd3d9247a229ccc475f3299928e1.jpg

Let's not forget the Warrior Vampire Bat. But perhaps the most frightening of all was . . .

1848234157_PL79.jpg.9505c412dcc91e5be2c6ad0fbb2984a9.jpg

Aghh! TPR members! Eating!

2078224216_PL81.jpg.fa793ffdb42d23bcbe329aea0b012610.jpg

What kid wouldn't want to hug Scary Rock Dude?

1764031894_PL80.jpg.38d0e6e9694f6e230219632a6f8e45b1.jpg

And we saw a bunch of mutant freaks! She looks like a refugee from a "Hellraiser" flick.

1592391524_PL78.jpg.8491c9b75c84891277457b6e4f1f4a4f.jpg

We rode this state-of-the-art monorail.

451643132_PL77.jpg.354a729d5d1ea5b9b1c071b4b3f0b8ab.jpg

So, what else happened at Phantasialand? Well, a huge bird mistook me for one of its hatchlings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Chapter 11: The Napa Valley Needs to Try This--Tripsdrill

 

OK, here's the point where I stopped taking notes while I was in Europe. I guess I was too busy enjoying myself to bother with documentation. So, my memory may be a bit fuzzy on a lot of points.

 

Oh, well--these writeups are more of an academic exercise, anyway. Nobody reads them, right? They just go right to the pictures. So, if I were to write that Tripsdrill is overrun with psychotic beavers and muskrats with laser eyes, eight-inch fangs, and ravor-sharp whipping tales, no one would notice. Yes, if I were to claim that Tripsdrill was actually a brothel full of vampire hookers who use second-tier Hanna-Barbara characters (like Captain Caveman or Muttley) as their zombie slaves, no one would raise an eyebrow.

 

But I would never do that, of course.

 

Tripsdrill is a winery and a theme park rolled into one. In fact, if looks like the owner (or owners) of Tripsdrill had downed a cask or two of their own product, then started designing attractions. How else can you explain:

 

1. Wobbly-wheeled bicycles;

2. A flume ride with bathtub boats and naked women; and

3. Well, all kinds of random crap?

 

That being said, Tripsdrill is also a beautiful park and a fun place to wile away a day--with one really good coaster and two average ones:

 

G'sengte Sau--I've ridden two of the Gerstlauer Bobsled coasters (the other was Aqua Wind at Lagunasia in Japan). Both are great, and after some reflection, I think I like Tripsdrill's the best of the two, but not by much. There's a fair amount of airtime, and I like how the coaster zips around the building it shares with the flume ride.

 

Mammut--This woodie was a bit of a disappointment. From a distance, it looks like it should be great, but it's really kind of pokey and shuffles rather badly at times (but there is a nice bit with a tunnel)--and what's with that funky little drop just before the lifthill? Not a bad ride, but just OK.

 

Rasender TausendfuBler--A decent family coaster that gets really low to the ground.

 

So, Tripsdrill is sort of the Busch Gardens of Europe. Except instead of beer, they make wine. OK, so it's really nothing like Busch Gardens. Let's look around, shall we?

1196969192_TD20.jpg.005e72af1084e39667af6fcc9b92e873.jpg

"Merry Christmas from the Bitners--and their pet Larry!" More to come from Tripsdrill.

713348786_TD19.jpg.5d7e2c4f40fda8dd6b91aee11496258f.jpg

This is the best part.

1235093576_TD18.jpg.2aaad6ad7d21c46751d0dec0cd09db55.jpg

But the ride is just "meh."

534845717_TD17.jpg.0e149fdb869b67e20d29d221f7769117.jpg

Nice trains, too.

1431167938_TD16.jpg.fab45147baff46be2bcf93498925c20b.jpg

It's one of the best features of the ride, actually.

755068130_TD15a.jpg.dcdcd9b0a5142f202c8df156a56227a7.jpg

The station is themed to look like a workshop.

833847225_TD15.jpg.cc8eee4272247c02d4530086700a81ca.jpg

Now that's morning wood--Mammut.

1269009962_TD14.jpg.bdee90712fa4d11da9ebc747b523291c.jpg

I deem this ride clock-worthy! (Yes, that's a clock made from an old coaster wheel.)

1487373978_TD13.jpg.d9a7268b81fad64bb5c776c17c0b0d02.jpg

I really like this bit when you zip around the garden (even if the laterals did cause Jeff to give me a "bionic elbow" to the head).

75490907_TD12.jpg.5f639ae2b3b9e7a11fdd01d1c39f9017.jpg

One's enjoyment of this ride is inversely proportional to the grip one must keep on a video camera.

1677914700_TD11.jpg.1b67821beebe9b798a3a08221305439c.jpg

There they go, zipping around the Bathtub Flume of Naked Women!

1140488441_TD10.jpg.9b45f42286e79e013bdeea07996d02d9.jpg

I love this ride's setting.

667308533_TD09.jpg.025151ed7a5bc3373045950c2c57d3ab.jpg

Looks like Tripsdrill has a hit here.

646415642_TD08.jpg.e7d91d35d76ff7544bc9aa63b1b98530.jpg

My--that's a steep one.

459365265_TD07.jpg.ff8ceb045c6ff5fa5c59341e630dc89f.jpg

This is a lifthill. This is the only technical term you will read in this portion of my TR.

1456381190_TD06a.jpg.f0cbfb8926b61476dae75d7f30d551ce.jpg

"Tell me about it, dude! They're even lettin' some random guy run the coaster today. God, what a mess he's gonna make! And guess who has to clean it up."

1186539627_TD06.jpg.2599792847bd7ea71771e92a41201d65.jpg

"Wha'? I'm hungover and we're openin' the ride early? My day sucks already!"

1539620115_TD05.jpg.67a770b6db8d3f8a3b3bd3a8ec81c156.jpg

The queue winds through a stable.

341596440_TD04.jpg.0e9eece2270e395b5e367a674911c139.jpg

First up--G'sengte Sau. And if you can pronounce it, you're a much more cunning linguist than I am (but bear in mind that I'm not a linguist).

2064897223_TD03.jpg.ee7d15ab5840ad085226e00aaf0ca361.jpg

You know, if Gallo built something like Tripsdrill near their wineries, Modesto, Turlock, and Livingston, California could become tourist hotspots. (Well, that might be a stretch, actually.)

651515886_TD02.jpg.796cde415cd30e1c2dcd1899c1974f74.jpg

The park has a beautiful setting.

1201913245_TD01.jpg.de6fe8e92bcb65e0e4c4583e245d155c.jpg

Here we are at Tripsdrill--and Hanno is ready for action.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

More Trippin' at Tripsdrill.

 

Sorry--that sucked.

1603047760_TD39.jpg.5eedca729c5b2bdae974d39a39f57e93.jpg

"OK, what sort of action can I get for 20 euros? Work with me here!"

 

That's all for now.

322169127_TD38.jpg.3120677986c07db4dfdee846e069bca4.jpg

You know, downing a few casks of Tripsdrill wine might make it a lot easier to ride these bikes.

881445756_TD37.jpg.107d3a8ad94e8ce97347247b7bf993c9.jpg

These "trackless" electric go-karts are fun--and Big Mike Approved.

1938205816_TD36.jpg.b14a0d8fca51d5e25c80300441cd747c.jpg

So, what else is there at Tripsdrill? Well, you can enjoy a soothing butt massage.

1223116813_TD35.jpg.8c6a36cfef22d224ab8eea2fca56b2b3.jpg

Hmm--the woman looks like she's checking out some guy's butt, or something.

857202892_TD34.jpg.109e9ed06084d05759e76d261960c2fa.jpg

You know, Larry really looks like he's enjoying himself a bit too much here. But if it gives him pleasure, what the hell.

1454398748_TD33.jpg.5f94d8ababd120d5cbd9cc4dcbd197fa.jpg

1529086585_TD32.jpg.76bbf2c10954c82a6f81561f605c7207.jpg

So does Jon. But Larry looks like he needs to find a . . .

392342154_TD31.jpg.4708237f2c8bd4c761fc76482e79eb14.jpg

But it's a fun ride. Melanie and Rich seem to like it.

865991027_TD30.jpg.ee7c34871d5bd66f87a713d4480b017f.jpg

Yes, nothing says "raging river adventure" quite like a basket of dirty clothes.

752613595_TD29.jpg.1a9ca5b44d064d0c16496293543d31b1.jpg

Tubs seem to be a bid deal at Tripsdrill. Their rapids ride is themed to a laundry--the hell?

990171239_TD28.jpg.656e42d889cd24e7044f893f5ea77c92.jpg

"Hey, I got a great idea! Let's drag a heavy cooler over a wobbly suspension bridge!"

1365000993_TD27.jpg.90a10fd418c56d174176c3c4ea5fcd34.jpg

This is as close as I came to taking a picture of the naked women, folks. I don't risk my camera on water rides.

485356774_TD26.jpg.aa284f1c5600cafbdf5e33e47dbc8441.jpg

Here's an odd bit of themeing in the flume's queue. The ride is themed to a "fountain of youth," so DaVinci is painting an "old maid" version of the Mona Lisa?

36550107_TD25.jpg.07f36b36fa2cccc4c5aff67d2d0f3438.jpg

You, maybe those bathtub boats make sense after all--how about providing towels, too?

1186848347_TD24.jpg.7dc21d459642dfa8df8ff8b66537d6cc.jpg

"Oh, I am so gonna snag me that ham!"

845041092_TD23.jpg.377c95aa6184531c8943b83740a0830a.jpg

. . . comes with a giant smoked ham and sausages!

1226483672_TD22.jpg.4f8990e9d52682416ea534bd05aaf016.jpg

And here's the strange drop ride, whose secret I dare not reveal! OK, what the hell. This ride . . .

705175265_TD21.jpg.69dad4c955f3037978ba795fcd34a3f9.jpg

As I said before, Tripsdrill is a beautiful little place. Here's a sort of "mini" Spalsh Battle ride.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow Chuck! That is a ghastly picture of me on this page! I can see the viewers at home either backing away from their screens in shock and fear, or showing their friends and making drag queen remarks. I'm really sorry everyone! Chuck, please find a way to redeem me!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

^I think I have some better shots of you, Melanie. That one isn't among the best, but, hey, I used it in a noble cause--to set up a toilet joke involving Larry.

 

There are (and were) better ones.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Wow Chuck! That is a ghastly picture of me on this page! I can see the viewers at home either backing away from their screens in shock and fear, or showing their friends and making drag queen remarks. I'm really sorry everyone! Chuck, please find a way to redeem me!

 

Mel, it's really not all that bad, at least you have a cute bathing suit on.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use https://themeparkreview.com/forum/topic/116-terms-of-service-please-read/