307 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 307 and non-TPR-posting friend go to Canada's Wonderland and get their Behemoth on So this report is more than a week in the making. Firstly, my friend [not present on this Wonderland trip] left his camera in my car's glove box. Secondly, the friend, let's call him Paresh, who accompanied me on this Wonderland trip left his camera at his house. Solution? Use the other guy's camera. Done and done. Then, of course, I get home only to find out that he uses a smaller USB cable for his camera than I have. Commence waiting a week until I can return the camera to him. Then commence waiting a few days for him to get off his ass and actually send me the pictures. And, to make a long story short, here's a TR of a Wonderland trip that happened awhile ago! [ps. DILDO PEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] And that concludes this far too long photo trip report of Canada's Wonderland! Hope you guys enjoyed. This turn is fantastic, both to look at and to go through. It's got forces like Luke Skywalker, fo sho Ahhhh there we go. ...BEHEMOTH!!! Er, wait a second... Us pimps are saying PEACE for the day, but I'm gonna be a nice guy and leave you with some more pics of what you came here to see... Try to resist it. Just try. It will force you to consume it, or kill your entire family. It has that kind of power. Don't believe me? Are you really going to take that risk? Funnel cakes are a must for anyone coming to Wonderland! These things will add a few inches to your waist and not even call you back in the morning. Or something. Does this count as an artsy photo? I hope so, because I like it. "FLIGHT DECK"? MORE LIKE "CRAPPY CRAP CRAP"! AMIRITE?! LUNCHTIME. Paresh: "This picture just looks wrong. Damn wrong." Me: "If jamming foot long pieces of meat in my mouth is wrong, I don't want to be right." Multi-flavoured Icees?! LIQUID ORGASM>!!~! Spinebuster was running in it's usual backbreaking format, relentlessly massacring the vertebrae of anyone stupid enough to ride it. A Canada's Wonderland trip report isn't complete without a shot of Vortex, and an accompanying exclamation of, "This is easily the best coaster in the park not named Behemoth." Nightmares was having some maintenance done to it, and was hovering in mid-ride position. This was shocking to me, thus it was documented with a photograph. :o!!! Talk about a clash of colours! Many have speculated that the park had a bunch of extra paint from Behemoth, and just decided to slop it on the Bat, but ran out before the track was finished. So now you get this monstrosity. Paresh demonstrates that he can, indeed, stick it to the man! Take that, you damn communist sign! I made the mistake of going on Jet Scream earlier this year, and my insides still haven't recovered. If you have any attachment to your internal organs, stay away from this one. This ride sucks, but it looks AWESOME from the ground. But then you get on it and it ruins the whole illusion. I don't know what to think anymore... A couple of years ago, I swore that Sol Loco [now Orbiter] was on the chopping block. It had disappeared from park maps and it's entrance was hidden away where no one could find it. But with Behemoth, Orbiter appears to have been revived! Huzzah! And here it is! The incredibly tacky Behemoth "leather" jacket! I honestly have no clue why anyone would wear this. I am glad, however, that there aren't a bunch of stupid graphics and images on it. That would just be vomit inducing. Not only was I missing Nikki's supreme company and awesomeness, but she's a far better photographer than I am. Y'know, I was standing and taking pictures of this for like 20 minutes in total that day, and THIS was sadly the best picture I could nab. Three rides in under an hour and a half? I'D HIT IT One guess as to where we ran first!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shesaidboom Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Not only was I missing Nikki's supreme company and awesomeness, but she's a far better photographer than I am. Our TRs are so much better when I'm in them. Your dildo pen picture doesn't quite do it justice. You need one that shows the entire thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
307 Posted June 11, 2008 Author Share Posted June 11, 2008 Not only was I missing Nikki's supreme company and awesomeness, but she's a far better photographer than I am. Our TRs are so much better when I'm in them. Your dildo pen picture doesn't quite do it justice. You need one that shows the entire thing. Sadly we only took two, but uh, here's the other one, just for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRapidsNerd Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 I haven't laughed that hard in a LONG time. Man that was funny! Great TR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niiicolaaah Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Oh I have a funny picture of the dildo pen, but I think I need permission to post it first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shockwave Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 ^Do it. Great photos Jer! Can't wait to get back over there and see you all again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHILLERLC1 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Now I have to buy that pen with all the Canadian coin we collected at work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeemerBoy Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 You would've bought that jacket had it said "MapleHawk"....admit it! A couple thoughts..... - It's only 9:25am right now, but I want that funnel cake. - What in the heck is that dude sitting next to Behemoth wearing? It's like a Crayola box and the cast of The Outsiders collided. Anyway, hilarious and awesome report! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carnage Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Oh I have a funny picture of the dildo pen, but I think I need permission to post it first. I was surprised that one didn't end up in your TR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niiicolaaah Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Eh screw it, Derek didn't invite me on his trip to Minnesota, I don't need his permission to post this picture! Dildo pen shenanegans, starring Paul and Derek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shockwave Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 ^Love it! If TPR ever had its own Up The Arse Corner, that would appear in it. Besides, everyone has a thing for Canadians! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carnage Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 ^ Well if you think our pens are big ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shockwave Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 ^Yeah, your notepads must be huge! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecoasterkid Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 I'm pretty sure I haven't laughed that hard during a trip report EVER. For some reason that Morbosity Behemoth shot had me in stitches. Great job! At least you got to go on more rides this time then when I met up with you and Nikki! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgb60 Posted June 12, 2008 Share Posted June 12, 2008 - What in the heck is that dude sitting next to Behemoth wearing? It's like a Crayola box and the cast of The Outsiders collided. Aqua top and green shoes--- sounds a lot like Hydra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clewis4u Posted June 15, 2008 Share Posted June 15, 2008 I'm pretty sure I haven't laughed that hard during a trip report EVER. For some reason that Morbosity Behemoth shot had me in stitches. Great job!At least you got to go on more rides this time then when I met up with you and Nikki! That shot only made me laugh my arse off the second I saw the picture description . Great TR 307. I thought it was necessary to add this picture. It's at the front line for Behemoth. Obviously supposed to say "Preferred Seating Not Guaranteed". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rct3man777 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 Wait, so the orange B&M's the behemoth there? Not that lady? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clewis4u Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 No, that's The Bat. He meant that lady is Behemoth sized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rct3man777 Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 I know. But they said that the BEHEMOTH HYPER COASTER was the behemoth there, but when you look at the lady, you think SHE'S the behemoth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecoasterkid Posted June 17, 2008 Share Posted June 17, 2008 ^ That was already the point of the original joke. No need to re-state it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
307 Posted June 17, 2008 Author Share Posted June 17, 2008 I know. But they said that the BEHEMOTH HYPER COASTER was the behemoth there, but when you look at the lady, you think SHE'S the behemoth. Jesus, tell me you're not that dense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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