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You might be a roller coaster fanatic if...


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I wrote this many years ago, but I don't think I've posted it. Now add your own!

 

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You might be a roller coaster fanatic if...

 

…the ride ops know you by name.

 

…you travel thousands of miles and spend thousands of dollars just to visit Cedar Point and ride Millennium Force once.

 

…you know exactly how many times you’ve rode your favorite roller coaster.

 

…you leave the theater after you’ve seen the Incredible Hulk Coaster footage in The House on Haunted Hill.

 

…you buy a Disney World annual pass just so you can ride the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster over and over again..

 

…you’ve memorized the queue video in the Incredible Hulk Coaster.

 

…your heroes are Walter Bolliger and Claude Mabillard.

 

…you sat in a lawn chair all day long and watched the construction of the Dania Beach wooden roller coaster.

 

…you ride It’s a Small World and you think it would be better if it had some loops and ran at 65 mph.

 

…you have every roller coaster video and book ever produced.

 

…you go to Disney Quest and design a roller coaster that makes everyone sick.

 

…your eyes fill with tears as you hear the roar of the Incredible Hulk Coaster from IOA’s front gates.

 

…you get into a car accident on Busch Blvd. because you are too busy staring at Montu.

 

…your children are named Kumba, Montu, and Gwazi.

 

…you head for the back seat of the train while everyone else queues up for the front seat.

 

…you talk to strangers in the queue line and tell them where the best seat on the coaster is.

 

…you wonder, “Where are the roller coasters?” when you make a trip to a city.

 

…you read the warnings at the roller coaster entrance about it being a “dynamically aggressive ride” and you say, “Yeah, baby, yeah!”

 

…you wonder if Cypress Gardens will ever build a roller coaster.

 

…you get in line for your favorite roller coaster, even though the line is out the door and across to the other side of the park.

 

…you get an amusement park map and you first look at where the roller coasters are.

 

…you design a roller coaster in Roller Coaster Tycoon and your guests are too scared to ride it.

 

…you like to get into arguments about Busch Gardens vs. Cedar Point vs. Islands of Adventure.

 

…you bought an annual pass to Sea World as soon as Kraken opened.

 

…you would give up your firstborn child for a chance to be the first one to ride the Dania Beach Hurricane coaster.

 

…at the end of the ride, you hear people saying, “I will never ride Space Mountain again!” and you wonder, “What’s their problem?”

 

…you nod in agreement with some of the items on this list!

 

…the main reason that you married your spouse is because he or she loves roller coasters.

 

…you like to debate if Superman: The Escape is a roller coaster.

 

…you get a job as a ride op at your favorite coaster and no one needs to show you what to do. You’ve rode the coaster so many times you’ve memorized what buttons the ride ops push and what they do to strap you in.

 

…you save your money so you can one day travel to ride every roller coaster in the U.S.

 

…you make a list of your favorite roller coasters, from the most favorite to the least favorite.

 

…you have a collection of blueprints, sketches, and computer simulations of your favorite roller coaster.

 

…your entire wardrobe has something on it that relates to roller coasters.

 

…you can remember the first roller coaster that turned you into a roller coaster fanatic.

 

…when you pass by the cameras for the on-ride photo, you do a goofy pose.

 

…you buy the on-ride photo of your goofy pose.

 

…you drive over speed bumps at 50 mph so you can get some airtime.

 

…your wish list on Amazon.com lists all the books, videos, DVDs, CDs, and computer software that have “roller coaster” in the title.

 

…you buy a ticket for you mom to enter an amusement park so she can watch the kids while you ride the roller coasters.

 

…your idea of a fantastic day at an amusement park is to ride the same roller coaster over and over again from park opening to park closing.

 

…you sincker in amusement at some of the items on this list!

 

…you wonder if B&M will build a roller coaster in your backyard.

 

…you visited Busch Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream not for the haunted houses, but to ride the roller coasters in the dark.

 

…you live in Tampa and plan on recording this year’s Super Bowl. You plan on visiting Busch Gardens while everyone else is watching the game.

 

…you judge a roller coaster by the length of the vomit trail at the end of the ride. The longer the vomit trail, the better the coaster.

 

…you like to debate about which coaster in Dueling Dragons is better: Fire or Ice.

 

… you call the coasters in Dueling Dragons by their proper names Fire and Ice, while other people call them “blue” or “red.”

 

…you like to debate about which coaster in Gwazi is better: Lion or Tiger.

 

…your idea of a perfect vacation is riding roller coasters all day. Your significant other’s idea of a perfect vacation is lying on the beach all day.

 

…your photo album is full of roller coaster construction pictures.

 

…you drive up a hill slowly and drive down it very fast.

 

…at the end of the Journey Into Your Imagination ride at Epcot where it shows you what your imagination has created, you wonder why you didn’t see the greatest roller coaster ever built.

 

…your scrapbook has every roller coaster-related article that you could find.

 

…you drove out of your way to ride the Starliner at the Miracle Strip Amusement Park in Panama City, Florida.

 

…you stay at Portifino Bay so you can get front of the line access to ride the Incredible Hulk Coaster all day.

 

…you have an Excel spreadsheet that lists all the roller coasters you’ve ridden and how many times you’ve ridden them.

 

…after standing in long lines yesterday to ride roller coasters, you don’t think a 45 minute wait at the post office is unreasonable.

 

…you’ve been outside roller coaster queues so much that you have a farmer’s tan.

 

…although it’s not very thrilling, you ride Woody Woodpecker’s Nuthouse Coaster just because it’s a coaster.

 

…you create a petition to protest the mid-course breaks on Montu.

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…you drive over speed bumps at 50 mph so you can get some airtime.

 

 

LOL. Most speed bumps here only ruin your car but in the village where I live, there is actually an oversized one which produces some decent airtime

 

There are in fact also several other quotes in your list that I'm doing

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Sadly some of those on the list apply to me...

 

...you post on roller coaster forums

 

...when traveling, you try to stop at the local amusement park

 

...you get upset when the GP make a mistake when talking about coasters

 

...you can name several coasters in a state/country that you don't live in

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I'd like to address some of these:

 

You might be a roller coaster fanatic if...

 

…the ride ops know you by name.

if you're a frequent visitor.

 

…you travel thousands of miles and spend thousands of dollars just to visit Cedar Point and ride Millennium Force once.

who did that just for MF?

 

…you know exactly how many times you’ve rode your favorite roller coaster.

I've never counted my total # of rides on any coaster, but I see it's not totally uncommon.

 

…you leave the theater after you’ve seen the Incredible Hulk Coaster footage in The House on Haunted Hill.

Haha, come on!

 

…you buy a Disney World annual pass just so you can ride the Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster over and over again..

just for that? If you went on other rides then it was not the case.

 

…you’ve memorized the queue video in the Incredible Hulk Coaster.

sure, if you've been on it enough times.

 

…your heroes are Walter Bolliger and Claude Mabillard.

they make great coasters.

 

…you sat in a lawn chair all day long and watched the construction of the Dania Beach wooden roller coaster.

nothing wrong with that!

 

…you ride It’s a Small World and you think it would be better if it had some loops and ran at 65 mph.

you can be a roller coaster fanatic and like dark rides/boat rides/water rides too,

 

…you have every roller coaster video and book ever produced.

it would be hard to determine "every."

 

…you go to Disney Quest and design a roller coaster that makes everyone sick.

that would be the most fun thing to do with that program, I'd imagine.

 

…your eyes fill with tears as you hear the roar of the Incredible Hulk Coaster from IOA’s front gates.

awwww...

 

…you get into a car accident on Busch Blvd. because you are too busy staring at Montu.

be more careful! I've looked at roller coasters while driving, too, I admit. We really should just park.

 

…your children are named Kumba, Montu, and Gwazi.

speaks more for being a BGA fanboy than anything else.

 

…you head for the back seat of the train while everyone else queues up for the front seat.

plenty of enthusiasts prefer the front row...but I'm a back row guy too.

 

…you talk to strangers in the queue line and tell them where the best seat on the coaster is.

nothing wrong with that...as long as they seem to not mind the conversation.

 

…you wonder, “Where are the roller coasters?” when you make a trip to a city.

if you're a true enthusiast you'd already know!

 

…you read the warnings at the roller coaster entrance about it being a “dynamically aggressive ride” and you say, “Yeah, baby, yeah!”

oh, absolutely!

 

…you wonder if Cypress Gardens will ever build a roller coaster.

um, haven't they?

 

…you get in line for your favorite roller coaster, even though the line is out the door and across to the other side of the park.

or find a way around that...come on a less busy day, get a "fast pass" type thing, etc.

 

…you get an amusement park map and you first look at where the roller coasters are.

well, of course...unless you've seen the map plenty of times.

 

…you design a roller coaster in Roller Coaster Tycoon and your guests are too scared to ride it.

pretty much the same as I said about Disney Quest.

 

…you like to get into arguments about Busch Gardens vs. Cedar Point vs. Islands of Adventure.

of course! Who doesn't like to defend their home park? (Or favorite park.)

 

…you bought an annual pass to Sea World as soon as Kraken opened.

yes, but was it worth it? If you think so, more power to you!

 

…you would give up your firstborn child for a chance to be the first one to ride the Dania Beach Hurricane coaster.

Well now, that's a bit extreme, yes? Heh.

 

…at the end of the ride, you hear people saying, “I will never ride Space Mountain again!” and you wonder, “What’s their problem?”

who said that? Honestly! Why would anyone feel that way?

 

…you nod in agreement with some of the items on this list!

yes, of course.

 

…the main reason that you married your spouse is because he or she loves roller coasters.

I'm sure that was the case for many people/couples.

 

…you like to debate if Superman: The Escape is a roller coaster.

um, it is! End of debate!

 

…you get a job as a ride op at your favorite coaster and no one needs to show you what to do. You’ve rode the coaster so many times you’ve memorized what buttons the ride ops push and what they do to strap you in.

well, of course! Maybe it applies less if you're not a control panel enthusiast, though. I know Jahan is!

 

…you save your money so you can one day travel to ride every roller coaster in the U.S.

a noble goal...and relatively within reach. However, a true enthusiast will go to other countries.

 

…you make a list of your favorite roller coasters, from the most favorite to the least favorite.

sure...probably if you took Mitch's poll.

 

 

…you have a collection of blueprints, sketches, and computer simulations of your favorite roller coaster.

if you're an engineering/mechanical buff, yes. Plenty of enthusiasts aren't, though.

 

…your entire wardrobe has something on it that relates to roller coasters.

entire? Do you mean at least one thing in one's entire wardrobe. I don't think anyone's entire wardrobe is related, though, that's impossible.

 

…you can remember the first roller coaster that turned you into a roller coaster fanatic.

of course!

 

…when you pass by the cameras for the on-ride photo, you do a goofy pose.

if you know where the camera(s) is/are located, yes. Who doesn't?

 

…you buy the on-ride photo of your goofy pose.

I think everyone had bought at least one on ride photo.

 

…you drive over speed bumps at 50 mph so you can get some airtime.

hehe, a little unsafe! Fun when it happens inadvertantly, though, as long as nothing bad happened.

 

…your wish list on Amazon.com lists all the books, videos, DVDs, CDs, and computer software that have “roller coaster” in the title.

unless you're a hot chick with a sugar daddy, I don't see the point in an amazon.com wish list, or on any other site for that matter.

 

…you buy a ticket for you mom to enter an amusement park so she can watch the kids while you ride the roller coasters.

if that's the only way she'll go, sure. You'd be doing each other favors.

 

…your idea of a fantastic day at an amusement park is to ride the same roller coaster over and over again from park opening to park closing.

why the same one? Why not all/most of them? That would prove you're an enthusiast for just one ride, not roller coasters in general.

 

…you sincker in amusement at some of the items on this list!

well, yeah!

 

…you wonder if B&M will build a roller coaster in your backyard.

do you? Really?

 

…you visited Busch Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream not for the haunted houses, but to ride the roller coasters in the dark.

oh, absolutely! I think the official stance of TPR though is that Halloween events are fun, and one should take part in the Halloween mazes, etc.

 

…you live in Tampa and plan on recording this year’s Super Bowl. You plan on visiting Busch Gardens while everyone else is watching the game.

a lot of people have that idea! Parks are not empty as some may think. However, if you're not watching the Super Bowl live, you're not really a football/NFL fan, period.

 

…you judge a roller coaster by the length of the vomit trail at the end of the ride. The longer the vomit trail, the better the coaster.

ew, yuck!!! I'm paranoid about people vomiting on coasters out of fear it'll strike me.

 

…you like to debate about which coaster in Dueling Dragons is better: Fire or Ice.

everyone seems to have a favorite!

 

… you call the coasters in Dueling Dragons by their proper names Fire and Ice, while other people call them “blue” or “red.”

yes, true. I'm not sure most people (the GP) call them just by their colors, though.

 

…you like to debate about which coaster in Gwazi is better: Lion or Tiger.

same as Dueling Dragons.

 

…your idea of a perfect vacation is riding roller coasters all day. Your significant other’s idea of a perfect vacation is lying on the beach all day.

did one pick the wrong spouse, then?

 

…your photo album is full of roller coaster construction pictures.

and not necessarily limited to construction.

 

…you drive up a hill slowly and drive down it very fast.

heh, okay!

 

…at the end of the Journey Into Your Imagination ride at Epcot where it shows you what your imagination has created, you wonder why you didn’t see the greatest roller coaster ever built.

like I said before, you can be into roller coasters and other types of rides as well. I don't see the point in limiting oneself.

 

…your scrapbook has every roller coaster-related article that you could find.

if one has a scrapbook. I personally do not.

 

…you drove out of your way to ride the Starliner at the Miracle Strip Amusement Park in Panama City, Florida.

was it "out of the way" if it was your destination, though? Hmm?

 

…you stay at Portifino Bay so you can get front of the line access to ride the Incredible Hulk Coaster all day.

yeah, sure, if that's what it takes.

 

…you have an Excel spreadsheet that lists all the roller coasters you’ve ridden and how many times you’ve ridden them.

I don't, some people probably do...like I said I don't keep count of how many times each, and I'd be willing to bet most people don't, either.

 

…after standing in long lines yesterday to ride roller coasters, you don’t think a 45 minute wait at the post office is unreasonable.

haha, lines suck, period, but if that's how one learns patience, then that's great.

 

…you’ve been outside roller coaster queues so much that you have a farmer’s tan.

true for anyone who has been outside for most of the day wearing a t-shirt the whole time.

 

…although it’s not very thrilling, you ride Woody Woodpecker’s Nuthouse Coaster just because it’s a coaster.

yes, of course! If you are able to/they let you...for the credit, of course.

 

…you create a petition to protest the mid-course breaks on Montu.

it may be an effort in vain, but I think most enthusiasts would agree that trim brakes and mid course breaks that slow down the train excessively SUCK!

 

Well, looks like I ended up addressing all of the points. When I think of some of my own, I will post again. Great thread, Barry!

 

--chris

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-I always can't wait to see what the next year will bring to the parks

-Look at my roller coaster books often

-Get excited about my next coaster trips

-Daydream what it would be like to live in LA next to my favorite parks

-Visit TPR too many times in one day!

-I LOVE SFMM, Disneyland, Universal Orlando

-I just love roller coasters & think about them very often!

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