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I've been through NO relationships so I really don't have to worry about things not going smoothly. All the girls I like are either taken or just not interested. I really think I'm just going to wait until I graduate to even CONSIDER having a girlfriend.

I find high school relationships to be semi-pointless. IMO, they cause more harm than good. People get all twisted up about them, and even those couples that have "successful" relationships in high school end up breaking up after high school anyway. So many other things to worry about in high school and even college than that!

 

And those guys who are sad that the girls friend-zone them... sooner or later, those girls are going to get sick of being used by the "bad boys" that they generally go after. I've been there, seen many friends that have been there. If you're the guy friend who's always been there through thick and thin, hopefully one day they'll realize that you're the sort of guy they should go after, not the losers who don't care about them. So keep the hope! No one has to be forever alone just because high school/college doesn't produce!

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Moral of the story? Have your self a grand old time in high school... just don't get anyone pregnant... and you're fine! You can still care about a person without being in a relationship. And they can still be able to see that without necessarily wanting one either. Just watch for the crazy ones that will attach to you like a parasite...

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Aww this thread is so cute! Makes me nostalgic for all my dumb old high school boyfriends

 

In regards to the people here who are hatin' on the teens and their high school relationships, I think that dating in high school, while unlikely to wield a long-term relationship post high school, is a pretty valuable training ground for what is to come in adulthood. Even if none of these relationships end up meaning very much, it's when you start to learn what works and what doesn't, and what kind of person you are compatible with. I can imagine that trying to get into the dating scene in college would be significantly more awkward if you don't have any practice at it. And it's rare, but you never know, sometime high school relationships end up going the distance (but usually that is only with nutty religious types... no offense to anyone!)

 

And to the folks coping with long-distance relationships, well, you've got my sypmathies. It's definitely a challenge. It certainly should not be attempted by anyone with jeaousy issues, and trust is key. Also, another downfall is that when you don't get to interact in person often, you don't discover issues in the relationship that would naturally come up otherwise.

 

But that doesn't mean long-distance relationships can't totally work. I was with my boyfriend for a year with him living in Connecticut and me livin gin Houston. Now I have moved to Connecticut and we live together and everything is going great! (Plus I have a new home park, which is pretty cool!)

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In regards to the people here who are hatin' on the teens and their high school relationships, I think that dating in high school, while unlikely to wield a long-term relationship post high school, is a pretty valuable training ground for what is to come in adulthood. Even if none of these relationships end up meaning very much, it's when you start to learn what works and what doesn't, and what kind of person you are compatible with. I can imagine that trying to get into the dating scene in college would be significantly more awkward if you don't have any practice at it. And it's rare, but you never know, sometime high school relationships end up going the distance (but usually that is only with nutty religious types... no offense to anyone!)

Not trying to be a hater... yes, I think high school relationships can be beneficial, but not always. Everyone is different.

 

However, I was more trying to offer hope for the people that are disappointed that they haven't found luck so far. If a relationship happens, it happens, but if it doesn't happen, it's nothing to worry about either. Just chill out and try to have fun in the cruel and unusual punishment that is high school!

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I only wish I had learned something, anything meaningful from high school relationships. I know people say all experiences teach valuable lessons, the bad ones moreso than the good ones, but all I can think of is "Don't let that happen again," etc. I suppose it's possible it's just something I prefer not to analyze at this point in my life, though.

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I've been through NO relationships so I really don't have to worry about things not going smoothly. All the girls I like are either taken or just not interested. I really think I'm just going to wait until I graduate to even CONSIDER having a girlfriend.

I find high school relationships to be semi-pointless. IMO, they cause more harm than good. People get all twisted up about them, and even those couples that have "successful" relationships in high school end up breaking up after high school anyway. So many other things to worry about in high school and even college than that!

 

And those guys who are sad that the girls friend-zone them... sooner or later, those girls are going to get sick of being used by the "bad boys" that they generally go after. I've been there, seen many friends that have been there. If you're the guy friend who's always been there through thick and thin, hopefully one day they'll realize that you're the sort of guy they should go after, not the losers who don't care about them. So keep the hope! No one has to be forever alone just because high school/college doesn't produce!

 

Incorrect. They are learning experiences to discover what you want or don't want, and a few can still be very successful: my best friend/roommate has been dating his girlfriend for over a year. Even though we are freshman in college and she's still a junior and our university is halfway across the state, he still calls her every night for a good hour or an hour and a half.

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^^ and ^^^

I know some couples that have been dating for several years. These two kids that sit at my lunch table have been dating for more than two years and a semi-friend of mine has been with her boyfriend for almost 3 years. It does happen. Jon Bon Jovi, legendary rock star, in his forties, is married to the girl he has been dating since high school.

 

I just wish I could get at least ONE girl before I'm out of high school. Even if she doesn't end up being the woman I spend my life with, it's better to have loved and lost than never too have loved at all.

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Take the forever alone option. ;D

 

But if you MUST get with a girl, you can't hesitate, you just gotta go for it, or they're gone.

The thing is, the last time I tried that I had a jealous guy try to fight me over it the next day. Plus I found out she's not interested in me.

 

Eh, shit like that happens. I've had the same happen say... 6 or 7 times all in a row? Or some variation of it at least.. Though I'm generally a terrible example for anything dealing with relationships, on the rare occasion that I do have some luck.. I've just sorta picked up on friendliness and taken advantage of it before the dreaded friendzone comes upon me... If you try and wait for something to happen by being nice, yeah, friendzone 99% of the time. And even if she isn't interested, it was fun while it lasted! And its not so bad to become friends after, if you haven't dated.

 

And in regards to Valentines Day, terrible holiday! Mainly because it serves no purpose but to remind me I'm hopelessly single...

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I just wish I could get at least ONE girl before I'm out of high school. Even if she doesn't end up being the woman I spend my life with, it's better to have loved and lost than never too have loved at all.

 

You're not the only one. I actually haven't had a girlfriend yet. Here's my track record to prove it:

 

6TH GRADE (2004): 7th grader liked me. She was hot, but I didn't like her; I could tell she was going to be one of those future scumbags, and I was right.

 

7TH GRADE (2005): 7th grader liked me. She was HOT, but again, but again, I didn't like her. Even then I knew that I wanted something more than just to make out with.

 

8TH GRADE (2006): 8th grader liked me. Her little sister told me, but I didn't believe her. She moved during the summer.

 

9TH GRADE (2007): Tried to make my first move on a girl that I liked for a long time; we were both in marching band (she was a trumpet, I was/am a sousaphone.) Failed miserably. She then went out with another trumpet for a while. I took it HARD, partly because I didn't know how to deal with rejection, partly because I truly felt something, and it really did hurt. A

 

9TH GRADE (2008): Another girl a year younger than me liked me later in the year. But she tried coming on to me too quickly, so I got freaked out.

 

10TH GRADE (2008): Tried to make a move on another girl. She was also in the marching band, but she was in the color guard. I tried compensating from my last failure by making a move faster; in short, I didn't have any balls last time. I still didn't know how to do it right, I ended up going in too fast and I screwed up. I didn't take it as hard, because my attachment to her didn't anchor itself in as long as the last one. Since how I got rejected has a bit of a story this time, I'll narrate:

 

(First off, I wasn't obsessed with her compared to the other girls. It's just that this one just happens to have the longest story.) We were going to Baltimore for our yearly out of state competition/trip (I live about 15 minutes northwest of Syracuse, NY) and on the way back from our competitions and stuff, we were going to SFGADV. So, obviously, I went nuts. Especially since I never went to SFGADV before. However, I saw the itinerary and we saw that there we had only six hours in the park. (Yes, this is relevant to me not getting a girlfriend, though not in the conventional sense.) So, in July (we were going the upcoming Columbus Day Weekend, so it was plenty of time for advance notice) I decided I wanted to do the Gold Flash Pass because I knew that I wouldn't get in all the rides any other way. And since they were so expensive, my mom emailed the teacher to request that I were to go alone for the day instead of in a party of 3 (my mom is also a band teacher, as was my dad, and both actually taught my former band director and her brother when they were in middle and junior high school; it's a small world) Since my band teacher understood my love for roller coasters (she liked roller coasters quite a bit as well) she agreed. In August, however, she said that I needed one person to go along with me. I was slightly concerned about finding someone, but I understood. So I got my sousaphone section leader to pay the $70+ for a gold flash pass as well. Fast forward to the day before SFGADV: I got rejected by the girl that I liked. One of her male friends told me that she knew all too well and that she didn't like me and wanted me to stop. I was disheartened yet again, but I wasn't a jerk, so I stopped, and I told him to tell her that "I never meant any harm" because I really didn't. My actions had good intentions, I just had no idea what the crap I was doing. I was really upset (I walked around my floor of the hotel for probably an hour to try to exercise off my misery) but at least I had an awesome day of about a dozen roller coasters, including the best wooden coaster in the world and the world's tallest and fastest coaster, to cheer me up. (THIS is where SFGADV comes into play.) We were driving out, and we were an hour and a half+ late according to the schedule. Apparently it took more time than I thought to get to the park, so we really only had 4.5 hours, so I started getting nervous. I saw KK in the distance, and I was getting so excited. S:UF, GASM, Nitro, B:TR, Medusa, ET, all these legendary rides I've been wanting to get on for years, today was finally my opportunity. As I was stepping off the bus and my band director gave me my ticket, she told me that I had to find a *THIRD* person! So I got desperate, trying scrape up money for a third person, which we couldn't quite do. So, fuming, I said screw it, and went with another party of four. No flash pass. I got on B:TR and I was pissed because the line was 45 minutes. It was a really good ride, but the fact that my day was going away too quickly, I wasn't happy. Everyone else just wanted to get to video games and trying on hats, so I was losing patience. We then got in line for KK, and the line was an hour. Ten minutes before I got on the ride, I was kicked out of line because I had to put my camera bag into the fluffy fluffy bunnies filled with medicine and goo, which I didn't know how strictly they took the rule back then; I was just planning on setting the camera down by the ride ops. I thought the line was two hours according to the signs, so I eventually had it and abandoned them and went to GASM on my own. When I met back with the band for dinner (on time; I was new to the park but I was still responsible,) I only went on GASM twice by then. I was hoping that I'd have a kick butt day riding a ton of coasters to cheer me up from being rejected AGAIN, but I couldn't even get that. That was when I started crying. A bunch of people were asking why, and I told them the not girl related part of the story, and since everyone knew my genuine passion for coasters, they really felt sorry for me and agreed. The band staff member that was in charge of finances overheard, (now retired middle school band director, knew my family VERY well as well, and actually was in a garage band with my uncle) and he actually talked to one of the park staff members, and he managed to get an exit pass for me and the party I was with, so that cheered me up a fairly decent amount. I chose S:UF because it was the most unique of all the coasters in the park (I knew El Toro was better, but I've been on woodies before. The only flyer I experienced was Time Warp two months prior, so I wanted to try a full sized flyer.)

 

To this date, I have not had a single weekend that was a crappy as that.

 

 

11TH GRADE (2009): I actually got pretty close. She asked me out to the movies via facebook, but it fell apart after that. She kept going out of town. (now that I look back on it, she might have been lying.) Through that process, one of her friends showed an agenda with pen ink saying "Iggy loves JBoss <3" (my nickname was/is JBoss, Iggy was/is the nickname of the girl I liked) saying it was in Iggy's name. I believed it, but in the back of my mind, I realized it was in 3rd person, and Iggy pretty much never talked in 3rd person. I suspected I was being lied to. It turned out that hunch that I pushed to the back of my mind was right. Though it got "kinda" close, there never really was anything. And her "friends" were basically lying to me for three months, saying there was something there.

 

12TH GRADE (2010): Nothing, though my mom said she noticed a bunch of the younger girls in the marching band were looking at me as if I was cute. That was a little encouraging. I was still trying to recover from Iggy back in 2009. I tried moving on, but it wasn't easy. I was pretty scarred, as I really liked her, I thought there was something, I was lied to, this was my third consecutive failure, I was tantalized by that hollow facebook PM, and a bunch of people wanted me to go out with her. (Forgot to mention that.)

 

12TH GRADE (2011): Gave up. A girl that was a rookie marching band member in 2010 confessed that she liked me over the summer, but remembering the crap I went through in the past, I didn't want her to live on a lie, so I told her straight out that I didn't like her. I'm still really good friends with her though, but I think she still might like me.

 

FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE: (2011 - Present) I'm trying again, and I think I finally healed from Iggy. I am now really good friends with all the girls I tried to go after, especially "2008." But fear that my indecision which still haunts me to a degree may be a lasting scar. I fear that I now may have developed a Pavlov's Dog response, that I may be expecting failure on the subconscious level, as I have been switching between the girls that I liked for pretty much since 2010, and I still am doing that to some degree. I've been trying to talk myself out of it.

 

 

 

 

 

Throughout my string of failures, however scarring it may be, I see that they gave me a lot of insight and it really changed me:

 

1: I am now a *HUGE* LGBT supporter. I never really thought about the issue and my opinion on the stance was just indifferent because I didn't care. But after my string if failures, I knew how hard I took it, and I wouldn't want anyone to get in my way if my love for a girl was genuine. It would have decimated me and I would have gotten *VERY* mad at those people that objected. I *NEVER* wanted it to happen to anyone else if they had even a slight choice to not go through it. Basically I applied the Golden Rule to sexuality. (Again: I'd like to state that I never was against it; I just never thought about it until I was around fifteen.)

 

2: I have finally learned to just grow some balls and that once I've discovered that I liked someone to just go for it, because I always ended up kicking myself for not doing so and I paid the price for being a wuss. I have applied this to many other parts of my life, and such drive and initiative has helped me monstrously; I actually talked with some guys at Mondial for quite a while and pretty in depth about the concepts of one of my ride ideas from a mechanical standpoint and how to improve it (I wanted to build roller coasters since I was nine; and I strategically let loose that one ride idea to show them what I could do at only sixteen. Yes, I was talking to them at sixteen.) What seems to be my last remaining foreseeable hurdle is just trying to find out who I like, but that seems to just be dealing with my negative Pavlov's Dog response that I acquired in 2009.

 

3: Through my being a fly on the wall of countless relationships from all of my friends and witnessing the problems that they were going through, I was able to learn a lot of lessons from astute observation that I would otherwise be rather behind in when my first relationship actually comes to fruition. Unfortunately, it's general common sense that I can't quite put together into concrete sentences to help anyone else out with their problems. Basically, it all boils down to applying the Golden Rule as much as possible.

 

4: Through my failures, I have noticed that I found out the type of girl that I tend to go after: Intelligent, bubbly, and with common interests in any combination of engineering, music, marching band, or roller coasters. I'm not closing my mind off to anything else, but I've noticed that I have gravitated towards those people in the past.

 

5: Just because she said no or you got friendzoned, don't stop being friends. You can still be really good friends otherwise as time progresses and the awkwardness fades.

 

6: (Basically a reprise of #1): Don't worry about being friendzoned, or going in too fast or too slow, because in this manner, getting a girlfriend is like driving a car: You have to make a decision when you're trying to move, and just commit to it. You are going to cause FAR more harm if you are too hesitant. Also, don't worry that much as to whether or not you will make her feel uncomfortable by moving in too fast (within reason, of course, like asking her out or whatever) because that's just unavoidable and you have to learn how to approach girls properly and you basically have to mess up in order to get it right. They'll feel uncomfortable, but everyone does and everyone has it happen to them at one time or another, so take comfort in the ubiquity of it.

 

And if you have tried to get a girlfriend but have failed, it will still teach you a *LOT.* Just don't freaking give up, because there are billions of girls out there, and there will be someone that is right for you. Because when it does happen and she is genuine, all the pain of the past, (but not the lessons learned; hang on to those) will melt away, and happiness will finally be achieved. Unfortunately I can't speak from first hand experience, but I've been dreaming of that day, and that's what's keeping me going.

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The thing with me is that I've never really gotten the courage to ask a girl out right to her face. I took a step in the right direction though with a girl in my Athletic Conditioning class. I got a hug with her, but that was more of a congratulatory thing than a "I wanna go out with you" thing. I think that if I am going to make a move on her, I have to do it soon. I don't want her to find someone else right before I get up the courage to ask her out.

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^^&^

The important words in Rawkin's post were "I find..." and "IMO". Just opinions, no real way for them to be correct or otherwise.

 

Besides, she could be right and you two could just have/be exceptions to the rule.

Thank you for that. Everything I say is based on observations in my life, and by no means does that necessarily apply to others.

 

Plus, considering that the high school I graduated from had about 400 people (7th-12th) and the entire town has about 5,500 people, things are a lot different here. Gives entire new meaning to the phrase, "he/she's been passed around"... I'll leave it at that.

 

I think what I'm trying to say is that success/failure in relationships in high school and college does not guarantee success/failure in the long run. What does matter, in my opinion, is having fun and making memories, learning stuff, gaining work/career/intellectual/creative/social experience, and figuring out what you want from life.

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^^ There was this one quote from the recent movie "We Bought a Zoo" that would be relevant to you (and me as well) -- "Sometimes, all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage." --Matt Damon.

 

You're just going to be kicking yourself knowing that you had the opportunity but didn't take it, and it will hurt even more when some other guy moves in and makes out with her in front of you instead of the other way around. It's going to be hard. You're probably going to be more nervous than while you'd be in line for a coaster with rusted holes in the rails every six feet smack dab in the middle of a heavily armed gang's territory that hates Americans, and that you can't even say "help" in the native language. But when you get cold feet, just think to yourself "%$#@ it, I'm going in anyway" and do what you feel is appropriate.

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I know there are a lot of people complaining about the friend zone, but to be honest I've friendzoned people before, like my best friend, who kept making moves on me until I told her I didn't feel attracted to her... Or any girl, for that matter, but that's beside the point.

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When I think back to High School I think I a lot of people (guys mostly) confuse attention for flirting. Just because a girl says hi to you, laughs at something you've said, or smiles at you doesn't necessarily mean that they want to embark on a life long relationship with you. Not that I ever had great luck/skill with girls, just in hindsight I'm pretty sure I read way more into things that may not have actually been there.

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I never had a problem talking to girls. During highschool and into college I have always attracted the attention of girls. I have had my share and fun with them,have dated numorous girls it started to get difficult because girls started to think I was becoming a player, the fact is I really didn't care if I had a girl they where always the one coming to me, I was not really ever in a formal relationship. But now I am happy to say that I found a keeper and am happly married.

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