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TR: VIOLENT CHERUB URINATION PARK (a Tokyo best!)


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Perhaps I should’ve entitled this topic “Violent Urinating Cherub”, but somehow this sounded right. Anyhow, there’s this tiny little park near the ‘old town’ park of Tokyo near that big temple where everyone ‘inhales’ the smoke coming out of that well thing. I’m so tired as I type this, I’m forgetting the name…. but it’s all very famous and everything.

 

Anyhow, this very tiny little amusement park (which I also forget the name of), supposedly has been open for more then 100 years and is surprisingly packed with attractions, including an S&S Launch tower and a small roller coaster that winds it’s way around the postage-stamp sized acreage of the property. Anyhow, my partner wanted to shop around the little flea markets that line that area, and me being the dark ride freak, opted to check this little park out, since the map suggested several dark rides and walkthroughs.

 

WOW! What a surprise!

 

There was actually only one true (enclosed) traditional haunted house type dark ride (which was ancient, but very fun) but several one-of-a-kind walkthroughs, pedal-on-a-track-up-high attractions, rollcages and much more. The park is built on a weird three-story structure… since they have no room… and rides are ‘stacked’ on top of each other. There’s also a very charming ‘outdoor’ dark ride that looks very similar to those snail things you guys rode at that Blackpool park in Europe. Since I could see the whole ride from the loading area, I didn’t go on it this time. But OMG! There’s two walkthroughs here that are among the weirdest, and creepiest things I’ve ever seen!!

 

The first is a ‘scary-type’ walkthrough involving mostly dark (sometimes padded) hallways. It gets darker and darker as you go through, until you can’t see ANYTHING, and literally just have to feel your way through things. Doors you may open will SNAP SHUT behind you, leaving you completely trapped, in PITCH DARK, to find some opening, hole, or whatever to climb thru. One park of this walkthrough, literally causes you to trip (landing on mushy slimy stuff) and then turning a corner to find DOZENS of corpses hanging from the ceiling, which you have to walk through (like big kickboxing bags) to get out. There’s really cool sound effects through the whole thing, and it seriously freaked me out (but in a totally fun way).

 

Then the most surprising walkthrough of all… and the one that certainly I had the least expectation for was called “Surprise House”. It’s a take on those fun house type walkthroughs, but is in fact, more like a maze with a seriously perverted (and almost sadomasochistic) theme. Located on the third floor, it looked like the most run-down, and least maintained attraction of the whole park. Rust everywhere, paint-peeling… you name it. “Oh God” I thought “why did I waste 300 yen on this?” The idea is you walk though the maze, passing by several plastic-walled cabinets usually with a little plastic figure that moves and makes sound effects, like most walkthroughs. But then you come to an end and are forced to figure out how to proceed forward. And the route is pretty obvious in the beginning (walls you push on to reveal a door, buttons, etc’) But then you get to the middle… which looks like a prison cage, complete with iron bars. You walk around and around this area, pull at the bars, and are stumped when there is not an obvious path through. I walked around for about 10 minutes (this part is actually outside, on a roof, so everyone else in the park can point and laugh at you) then finally got tired of finding the way through, and turned around to backtrack only to find…. OMG! The door is locked and shut! They literally lock the door and force you to find your way through!

 

I was actually getting pretty nervous that I wouldn’t find the solution through the maze before I had to meet my partner from his shopping, so I banged on the bars and ran my fingers everywhere, looking for a way out. I turned around to find a husband and wife and their little Japanese kid now stuck in the same area as me. They looked for an opening too, and were as stumped as me. They walked back to the door, and when the father turned to his wife in amused shock “it’s locked!!” their little kid burst into tears. I just sat down against a wall and decided to watch them walk around those bars some more. Eventually, they DID find the exit, which was so completely cool, I won’t spoil it for any of you who might visit this one day.

 

So after following this couple after they had discovered the exit, I solved the rest of the tricks by myself (by running ahead), some of which were amusing, and then got to a final room… which…. OMFG still haunts my dreams.

 

The final room is indoors… and consists of a very dark (and moldy looking) Cherub-type boy standing on top of something, behind a plastic wall. In the front of this display are three very large oval buttons. As you walk into the room, a motion sensor lights up the display and the innocent little cherub doll is lit up, along with the buttons on the panel (yellow red and green I think). A cute JR subway-like jingle is played in sync with a lighting sequence on the buttons, and a very cute anime voice (I guess the Churub) says in Japanese (and this is a rough translation for me): “Please choose a button for your reward”. As you reach to press a button, all the buttons immediately switch off their lights, and the Cherub VIOLENTLY SPRAYS THICK GREEN URINE FROM IT’S PENIS DIRECTLY AT YOUR FACE. Now, okay, you may be thinking ‘yeah, so what… a peeing statue… that’s as old as Carnivals from the 1800s…’ But I’ve NEVER, EVER seen one of these things spray like this one. I think the key thing here is not that the statue surprises you at of the blue by peeing, but rather the sheer VIOLENCE and (most importantly) QUANTITY of the putrid GREEN URINE that gets shot out. It must be like 60 gallons (no kidding!!!) It’s so forceful, in fact, that the entire plastic display pushes forward with the strength of the spray.

 

I guess if I could compare it to anything it would be that scene in Team America World Police, when the one puppet vomits for like 4 minutes in the end of the movie. It just keeps going and going and, combined with the LOUD sound of such a spray hitting the very thin plastic…. Not only did it surprise me… but scared the living CRAP out of me.

 

That’s right, you heard me, a peeing statue was the biggest surprise of the whole trip.

 

Needless to say, I backtracked a bit, so I could wait until that couple from earlier walked into the room themselves, to ‘trip’ the whole sequence up again. Sure enough as soon as the little boy went to choose a button for a ‘surprise’ the statue lit up, and the VIOLENT GREEN SPRAY with it’s horrific ‘splatter’ against the plastic gushed forth, scaring the living crap out of the kid. The parents (and myself) could not stop laughing.

 

This has to be one of the sickest, weirdest, and unique things I’ve ever seen at any park. It’s right up there with the Dog Fart coaster and the Escalator Ride. I kick myself, as this was the ONLY DAY I didn’t not have either my video or still camera with me, and there was simply no time for me to go back and get this filmed. So, I ask all of you…. who has been to the “Surprise House” at this weird little park? And if any of you are going… please do check it out, film it, and put it up on TPR so everyone can see the glory of the Violent Urinating Cherub.

 

Anyhow, that does it for today. All my other TR will consist of lots of photos. I’ll do them when I can. Until then…. Feel free to discuss.

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Interesting TR but could you please split it into readable paragraphs? (3-4 sentences). It's hard to get through more than a few sentences without giving up.

 

Thanks

 

Wow. Um.... I wrote this when I was really tired after traveling a month in Tokyo... so, uh.... I don't know.

 

I thought it would be nice to share something fun.. in detail... with all of you while I work through all my photos and video. On second thought, if I'm so 'unreadable', my apologies that my story made you 'give up'. Perhaps I'll just 'give up' myself and not spend my free time writing anything for the boards. Thanks for putting it into perspective.

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I actually thought it was well written and interesting, and covered some attractions that I had never heard of before. It also gave me a good warning to stay away from these places, since I injure myself stepping off curbs, I can only imagine the bodily harm I'd cause myself in one of these mazes.

 

It's a shame you didn't have a camera to capture the sights, but your descriptions were almost as good.

 

dt

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Even from the pics... there's no apparant solution to that maze. lol. I'm glad I'm not just retarded or something. Okay... so you guys really want to know how to get through that section? It's actually pretty clever... I wonder if anyone can guess...

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Why spoil it for people who might actually get a chance to go to this park next year on the TPR trip. I suggest people PM you if they really want to know. It took me all of, oh ..... 2 seconds to figure out.

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Why spoil it for people who might actually get a chance to go to this park next year on the TPR trip. I suggest people PM you if they really want to know. It took me all of, oh ..... 2 seconds to figure out.

 

Oh sure..... brag about it!! javascript:emoticon(':lolr:')

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