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Knott's Halloween Haunt! PTR!

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OK! It's October 1st. What a good way to usher in the greatest month of the year other than heading to Knott's for the Halloween Haunt!


So here it is. Alana and I did the HAUNT. Then we did each other. There will be no pictures of that. However, if I become famous enough, I'm sure that the video will get stolen from our home safe and broadcast all over the internet. So untill that time, none for you!


Anyway, the Haunt.


I must say first off. BEST HAUNT IN OVER 2 YEARS! There was one low point, but we will get to that.


We packed up the kids, and headed down to Buena Park!


Here is our behind the scenes tour guide. Since I don't remember her name, well call her Marge... Large Marge.


NO F'ING WAY! A backstage tour? Is it my birthday. Have I died and gone to heaven? Is this a wet dream gone terribly well.


You have got to be kidding me! A skeleton baby! And it's attacking Alana! This Haunt couldn't get any better unless they gave us a guided tour of the backstage area.


HOLY SHEEP SHIP BATMAN! More cake! Get away from me Xmas Alien! This couldn't get any better unless they gave us cool stuffed skeleton babies.


OH MY GOD! Jack Falfas serving me dinner! This meal couldn't get any better unless they gave me more cake.


1st Dessert. Cinnimon apple carrot cake! OMFG! This meal couldn't have been better if Jack Falfas served it to me himself.


2nd course. More prime rib, Knott's fried chicken, and beef ribs! Von Diggidy!


The ghosts, guyblins, and Xmas Aliens approve!


1st course. Prime rib, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, scalloped potatoes, and vegitarian lasagne. Not to mention the Boysenberry punch!


First things first. The buffet.


Oh sweet Baby Jesus!


Me and my ubersexy, fashionable, brain surgeon, crime fighting, trash novel writing, cool ass & hot ass wife. Alana.


Ha! Had you going! We dropped the kiddies off at the sitter. I'm a good parent. Speaking of which, to all you bad parents that take their kids to these events. I hope they do well in therapy, or the state penn.


All the family dressed to the 666s.

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The behind the scenes tour was awesome! Huge props to all the crew in public relations for creating this event. Very well done and very well organized. Mad props! You guys deserve it!


On to the tour!


Finally, Alana taste testing pizza dough in the kitchen.


Nicole Richie as a pirate.


Nice choice in tutu.


All the feindish fun of getting into character backstage. I realy have to hand it to all these guys. They realy do a great job of putting on a great event.


Here's a nice pair. And the scareactors make up is cool as well.


A couple of finished ghouls.


The make up room goes on and on.


Wicked smurf.


Hot blonde chick getting turned into a dead hot blond chick. Kinda makes you think necrophelia ain't that bad... ...so I've heard.


The make up prep room.


Still the costume department. They clothe a butt load of creatures here.


The costume department.


The wig department.


Our homecomming queen getting what she deserves. I mean a home comming queen scareactor. Not that I have any issues with a certain homecomming queen dissing me at the prom or anything. Bitch!


The slider crew hangin' out preppin to whip tha GP into a smorgasborg of screams.


Scareactors getting their ghoul on!

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Now on to tha Haunt!


First riders of the night (in the front seat) of Ghostrider. Thank you Knott's, that month long re-track has done a world of good for this old girl. It's like a good boob job. You can steel feel tha age, but the smoothness and elasticity has greatly i


The Mine Train was great this year. They took alot of props from the spider maze last year and incorporated it nicely into the ride. Some good scares here.


More to come...


Boney thought Kate was hot, all skin and bones that she was. He realy wanted those sunken chest credits.


Hey, it's Kate Bosworth!


Boney tries to scare up some ghoulie action. Get it. He's a boy skeleton and he's looking for some ghouls. Cause ghouls sounds like girls... oh nevermind! It was funny 5 minutes ago.


OK, the park is officially open to the public. So we b-line it to the Calico Mine Train. Only to find that it has been taken over by the Undead!



Boney is up in arms at the carnage! Alana and I were just plain scurred!


Ohhh! Werewolves and logs. Two great tastes that taste great together.


Arn't we cute! All tryin' to get our XcelR8r on. Mind you, the park still hasn't opened to the GP yet.


Cause Will Ferrell was in the control booth dispatching trains.


Me on Silver Bullet in complete shock. Why, you might ask?


Alana getting her Silver Bullet on.


Random chainsaw dude getting his prayer stance on. "Praying for death" that is.


Boney likes Alana better than me.


While Alana went to the bathroom, I tried to comfort our new baby. We named him "boney"

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But wait! There's more HAUNTy action!


I won't spoil it! However, I can say that Don, Monica, and Myself guessed who would be hung almost 3 weeks ago. HUGE DOUCHEBAG!




First show of the night! THE HANGING! Or, hang the biggest douchebag of the year award. Ten times the show last year. Great story! Funnier jokes! More bloodshed! 2 enthusiastic thumbs cut off.


This Gargoyle dude was awesome! His wings would actually expand and flap. Incredible creativity. He designed and built it himself.


Speaking of good eats! Did I mention how F'ing hot my wife is! Check her out workin' tha waterfall!




Mmmmmmmmmm! Good Eats!


We got hungry again. So we headed back to the buffet. Wait a minute! That's not prime rib!


The entrance had been re-done this year. Nice touch as the monsters could wander in and out of the house.


Great improvement on this maze. Almost as if they gave it a fresh coat of blood. Made me and alot of GP jump. The Scareactors worked well in tandom.


As much as I love this maze. I think it might be one to get retired. It is unfortunately too predictable now. It hasn't changed in years. Still fun for a good laugh.


Hatchett High! Or "What I'd like to have done to most of my graduating class."

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I thought this years hanging sucked. Had some great moments, but it didn't flow well. I also didn't like the "Undertaker" compared to Hangmen of the past. Then again, I only saw a dress rehersal too...


Oh, and thanks for saying hi.

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And you thought I would make you wait for more! Oh hell no! I'm doin' tha whole thing before I go to sleep.


On to... The Grudge! Honestly, I had real low expectations for this maze. Boy was I surprised! Best maze of the nite! The scareactors worked real well with the surrounding elements. This maze had a couple of true jumps. Not to mention it being based on a real F'ed up film in the first place.


OK, you can take your glasses off now. Hella cool though.


OK, gonna go watch Prison Break then I will be back to finish this.


Yeah! How did I do it? I'll never tell. It's a very tricky double photo!


Cool Huh?


Cool huh! You thought I was lying! It's way cool.


Tha Fonze! Eating KFC!


Oh, by the way, this is a TPR first. The next 3 photos are actualy in 3-D. Seriously, put your glasses on. It works!


Yay! Terror Vision! I realy like this maze. It has gotten better with age.


Happy "Jaguar" riders! Not Boney approved.


How can you Knot go to Knott's and Knot ride "Jaguar!" Still the big cat in coasters! Even Boney approves!


Not to mention an exceptional hairstylest for a rollercoaster.


We decided to take a break from loud mazes and ride Montezooma. Still the best shuttle loop coaster in existence.


Oh, "The Grudge" maze was brought to you by "The Grudge 2" in theaters Friday October 13.


Or pop out of the bathtub.


Weird contortionist creepy chick would crawl out of the shadows.


Real awesome maze! Very creepy!


Some Creepy chick with no face would just stand next to you and grind their teeth at you. I have no Idea where they would come from. One minute not there. Then suddenly...


One minute you'd be checking out a cool animatronic crackling child coming out of the sink. When suddenly...


Cool entrance! Well themed. Just plain creepy.

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Aww, my search for myself in your pictures failed.


Anyhoo once i found out ace was there i tried to see if i noticed anyone with the orange ACE stickers. Didn't see you though.


And yeah, after looking at your pics, it looks like we missed alot of stuff...


Oh well ill just have to go back later.


Nice TR.

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OK! Thank God for TiVo! Prison Break was awesome. But I digress.


Back to the Haunt!


When we last left our intrepid explorers. They had just passed through the 3 dimensional hell that was Terrorvision. What next? They inquired of the Entertainment & Show schedule.


Oooooo! Dead Idol Live. I have always loved Knott's big stage spectacular. I also thought that the premise had a lot of potential. So I was looking forward to this one.


So All in all, a great Haunt this year. Alana was tired so we headed out about Midnite. Woo Hoo! Awesome job Knott's. I love your event. To everyone reading that works it. You all do an awesome job. Keep the scare alive! Or dead. Thanks Knott's


This number was the highlight to the show. Unfortunately the show finaly finds it's pace at the very tail, then It just ends. I wish them well with this production, as it's gonna be hard to pull off in the long run.


Unfortunately there wasn't enough "A" to start anybodys motor running either. they realy need to keep it moving quickly in order to retain the audience.


Not enough "T" to find it titilating. Unless you include a fat bad elvis impression. Everything with this show just seemed a little off.


Unfortunately what we got was a poorly paced, disjointed, Karoke show.


Any way. Next up was back to the big stage production. Dead Idol Live! I was hoping for some serious T&A as had been in past years.


This 3D picture turned out the coolest. That's why I saved it for last. Still, they need to re-evaluate this maze if they are to make it successful in the future.


Unfortunately it was actualy kinda funny. Not scary at all. And the scare actors realy just kinda roamed about pretending to play slot machines.


Cool stuff Huh? My only problem with this maze was that it just wasn't scary at all. More of just cool set pieces.


Just another little bar in another little gambling town.


Yes! So now we have our final maze of the night. Another new one. Lost Vegas! Put on your 3D glasses again. Some of these are pretty cool.


On our way to another maze. We were flashed by this creature. It wasn't untill I got home that I was able to read his shirt. Best one of the nite.


They realy involve the audience well. If you get the chance. See this show. the theater is quite small so you might want to get there early on a busy nite. Well worth it. Especialy the late shows.


Yes! So... ...HACKS! An awesome improve comedy show. These guys have been together for several years now and it shows. A very funny show!


We made it just in time to get in line, and have the Bride give us the hissing of a lifetime. Our tour guide said that the Bride is one of the oldest Scareactors at the Haunt. I love the Bride.


Plan B. High tail it to the Bird Cage theater and catch the 10:30 show of HACKS!


Yeah.. ...Well... ...uh... ...you see, we seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties right now. So... ... we'll just do a little dance number and see you all back here at 11:30. Hopefully everything will be working by then.

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ROFLMAO, that's my friend Jason! We worked Supreme Scream three years ago (he came in a couple of months after I did. And we all called him Will Ferrell, due to the moderate resemblance. Plus he spieled with a Mr. Moviefone voice.


Awesome TR, Guy! So sad I can't make it this year, but oh well. I'll get my fix through great TR's like these. Fantastic photos, and that backstage tour seems really cool.


Haunt sounds like an overall winner again, and this year seems to be better than past years overall.




And sexy dead girls are indeed delish.

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Thanks, for the kind words.


Yeah, your friend was quite good on tha mic. He would banter back and fourth with the headset person. Very funny.


So sad you won't be able to make it this year. Overall, it was greatly improved since last year.


Joey, I didn't know you were working the Haunt this year. Is there some sort of midget show that I missed?

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^^I'll stop by when I go again at the end of the month.


^Yeah, The whole show just seemed slaped together. Very unsatisfying. The dance numbers were uninspired, and definitely not at all risque as have been in the past. I especialy thought the "Ring of fire." number was weirdly inapropriate. Like when Sabien Glover tap danced to the theme from "Schlindler's List" at the Academy Awards several years back. Just plain weird. I had a huge problem with the host. He was way too casual. Almost careless. I realy was wanting a Seacrest type impersonator. At least you then had tons of open doors for some great funny jabs. Except for the dance numbers, it seemd that everybody was just blandly improvising their way through to the next musical bit. A very banal show. The only energy ever exuded was in the last number, and by that time they had completely lost the audience. So sad, because the premise had so much to work with.


I still think the last real great show was "Elvira's Ghoulie Review." several years back. At least the Ed Alonzo shows were entertaining and funny as well as giving the audience a cheep thrill with some hot dance numbers.

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Hey Guy,


Thanks for yet another awesome PTR! All and all, the event looks pretty good this year. I'll definitely have to make a drop by in a week or two!


Say "hi" to that ubersexy, fashionable, brain surgeon, crime fighting, trash novel writing, cool ass & hot ass Alana for me!



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^ I will pass along the well wishes. Thanks. So you all will know, Alana does aprove all pictures and captions that I use of her. I do not exploit her. Besides, you can't exploit the willing.


Look at me. I'm an attention whore.


Guy, when you going at the end of the month? I got a group going, just wondering if it's the same night.


Ocober 27th here.


Oooo! I havn't picked a date to return yet.

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Nice Photos, Guy! Knotts seems to do a much better job than PKI with their scareactor makeup, and there are definitely more shows and themed things at Knotts based on your pictures. Hopefully CF will implement some of the same ideas here in the coming years. Glad you didn't expose the youngin's to incurable trauma so early on in their lives. With all the problems they'll already have just from being your children, they don't need anything else on their plates!



-James "You know I'm kidding " Dillaman

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Great TR, Guy! I gotta go to Halloween Haunt sometime...


So GhostRider's gotten smoother, eh? Is it really that big a difference? If it is... I may actually try it again next time, if it won't hurt like it did in June...

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