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FlyingScooter

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  1. In the last twelve months, I was diagnosed bipolar and treated with meds. At 50 years old, made a diff to me, though my closest family and friends knew this a while ago.

     

    What my family and friends didn't know was a diagnosis that came a time later after meds equaled me out. Over a period of two to three sessions a week that flew over three months, I was further tested for something else. I was given questions from Dr. Robert Hare's PCL-R (Psychopathy Check=List, Revised, that gave me a label. This label, to me, made sense.

     

    That I am a psychopath. I lacked emotion, empathy, remorse and regret since about age 11. Around that age, i methodically killed my emotions:

     

    I was about age 11 when i began killing any and all emotion from my life. In one month, I saw my grandfather die at age 79, my father have his 12th heart attack.

     

    Before you so quickly disregard me: Back in the 1970's, family or not, if you were under the age of 16, you had to sneak into hospitals to see family members. I quickly learned how to beat hospital security cameras and such. I was of a small frame, couldn't pass for an adult even if I carried a munchkin on my back, but the nurses and the attending docs loved my ability to beat security, and covered me when i visited dad after school. My father somehow knew I'd be there to see him. He would have at the ready: Jelly packs for me to take home, juice for me to drink and food for me eat by his side.

     

    Over time, as mom and dad passed, when friends younger than me passed, i went about slaying my emotions. Tired of being hurt, watching my father die, grand parents die, watching my mother and sisters suffer.

     

    yes, emotions can be killed.

     

    Know this though: You will rearrange the nuerons in your brain, and if you choose to do this there is no going back.

     

    Don't become like me. Don't kill your emotions no matter how bad things cut and hurt you. Don't waste empathy when those around you so dearly need it...

     

    FlyingScooter: Mark William Darus

  2. Not sure how this will work, but will try all the same.

    Part two: Photography and the Hunter. Inspirations. <<<<<>>

     

    http://psychopathyanotherlife.blogspot.com/2012/10/part-two-photography-and-hunter.html

     

    Photography and what inspires a Hunter.Part 2.

    by Mark William Darus

     

    Part one of this entry.

    Cleveland Steel

     

     

     

     

     

    This world of fire, heat and stench has been a huge part of my life on many levels throughout my life. My grandfather worked for Corrigon-Mikiney during the birth of Cleveland steel making. My father joined him when we was none as Republic Steel and my sister joined my father there. She has seen the Cleveland Works change many hands in 30 years there and survived one the mills darkest periods in its fine history: The rise and fall of LTV steel.

     

    LTV had many definitions over its term of life in Cleveland and Ohio in general. When I worked as a driver for ABAR MFG, I drove in and out the the Cleveland, Warren, Youngstown, Louisville as well as Alliquippa PA. In the span of five years, from an outsiders view, I witnessed the self destruction and closing of quite a few operations and plants. To so many, LTV stood for Long Term Vacation, and my favorite, Liars, Vulcher's and Thieves.

     

    When I felt comfortable once again with camera in hand, I began to aim and shoot. Out of the several hundred taken, I thought these my best.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Above is the William G. Mather Museum. This decommissioned vessel is a museum. This grand ship once traveled the Great Lakes and brought needed raw materials up the mighty Cuyahoga river to the Mills. I believe this museum an amazing visit. Trust me, the lenghty tour does not disappoint.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Above shot: I have some clue about the smoke released here is. Here are my thoughts on this. We can eliminate all sources of pollution and seem to have done so with such amazing ease that we have managed to create a cleaner level of living.

     

    With our 'not in my backyard' philosophy that many a great city has been brought to its knees and moved overseas due to mandated regulations, we have successfully killed not only tens of thousands of jobs, but have crushed Northern US manufacturing into oblivion. Sure, many live longer nowadays, but at what level of living? With the loss of the very jobs that created Cleveland, it's as though we have forgotten how those jobs made it possible to put a child through college without having to take out school loans, that when paid, equal the equivalent debt of buying a hundred thousand dollar house.

     

    Yeah, we have cleaner air, but at what cost was this created? I think it's nice we breathe easier, but what good is that while so many cannot afford to pay simple utility bills?

     

    Sorry, I got a bit preachy. Before I close this, I am compelled to say this: Both my parents died of various cancers. They both passed at the age of 65.

     

     

    As a child, driving with my father down I-77 North, I so remember seeing the sight of mill-fire. These flames were created for the burning off of polluting gases to make the air cleaner. Always watching with a sense of awe and its raw beauty, I always remarked to my dad: Wow, that's OZ! Right, daddy?

     

     

     

     

     

    Part two of this entry: titled:

    That's what dreams are made of.

    Just spread your wings.

     

     

    This was a shot taken in July 2012. My first gull shot in over twenty years. This was a starting point on the subject wings.

     

     

    I find it most ironic that my mind has always been held captive by things with wings yet how i have never left the surly bonds of Earth. Well, that is, except for taking many a jump while downhill skiing, mostly ending in crashing as gravity caught my legs unprepared.

    Oh well, live and learn. At least I never broke body parts with many a failed landing. Hmmm, maybe that's why I have never been on anything that parted any company of our planet with others...

     

    Wings over us.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    As the above aircraft, as she popped a strong wheelie, left me, I wondered where its passengers were going to, what they were leaving behind them, and what they felt, if anything. As she headed to the clouds and other places far and away from anything I have yet to see and experience, I remember getting many an odd glance and comment when I screamed "YES!"

    A well dressed woman with huge amounts of gold jewelry, sporting a highly hair sprayed blond hair-helmet asked me if I had ever seen a plane take off before. Personally, I love such condescending remarks from those displaying such higher status than I. I slowly turned my head toward her and said: "If you don't find such amazing, why the fuck are you wasting so much of your precious time for asking me that question as you see what I do?"

    Well, after about 5 minutes of taking many other exhilarating shots, this ladies husband approached me. Obviously taking some flack for not immediately defending her, my sound peripheral vision catching him venturing into my space in an unfriendly fashion, I smirked and asked him if he'd like some beef jerky without changing my stance with right eye still in viewfinder. I met him eye to eye as I stood in the shadow of a tree, catching him squarely. I knew very well he could not see my eyes.

     

    "What did you just say to me?" he said as his approach decreased in speed like the Jets and turbo-props landing before me as I cocked my frame toward him.

     

    Lowering my voice so that his woman could not hear, I inquired, "Got it rough, ain't ya? Sorry, but she had it coming, man. I asked you if you wanted to beef jerky." I then walked from my Fuji and Slik tripod toward my Trailblazer and opened the drivers side door. I kept this man in side-sight, and he stopped fast, startled. Taking into consideration, had this man been a hard-core, he would have reacted quicker than five minutes to my counter at his woman, I knew I'd be okay. I grabbed my a bag of Sweet Baby Ray's and offered it to him.

     

    "Whoa, I thought you were gonna shoot me." His voice, almost spoken in a wispy voice like that of Amy Grant.

     

    Stepping from shadow to clear light visible for him to see me, "why would you think that?" I ask such things for reasons I'll keep to myself when people make snide remarks aimed at me and send others to confront me.

     

    "I don't understand what you mean?"

     

    Aligning myself between he and his leash holder, head turned slightly to the left, I told him firmly how to save face, and just maybe, how to get layed by her tonight. "Just throw your arms about. Yell at me, call me an asshole, threaten me." However, I did caution him to not call me a son-of-a-bitch. My mom was not a bitch, and I will get physical with any man that fires this at me.

     

    Wow, this man possessed such a slow learning curve I felt he must be either a lotto winner or one that inherited a fortune to have the woman covered in gold and frozen hair in such a high wind.

     

    Took a bit of prodding, but he did do what I suggested and promptly whispered an apology to me.

     

    I gave him a gentle smile to leave. I also changed my smile, baring my teeth like that of predator, and physically sent him a message to get her the fuck away from me. He most quickly did, hopefully saving face with her, perhaps getting his boat on a trip to tuna town.

     

    Got long winded once again, but that is what happened about that shot.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    The above capture. Caught by its hard banking and screaming engines, I jumped up and down like a child. Loving roller coasters, g-forces, i cannot imagine what those feel as this event courses through them.

     

     

    About this: Yeah, way grainy and though it clearly does not say this, I did see this. At first glance, to me, I saw: "OH NO!" I can be do 'out there,' at times.

     

     

    One this one: First time I was granted the splendor of a bird in flight as it called out to others.

     

     

    Got this one during the Cleveland Airshow 2012 from Clark Field. What these pilots can do as they dazzle others with is phenomenal at such high rate of speeds. As they passed above me, my body pounded by the thrust of their mighty engines miles away, take my grounded spirit soaring higher.

     

    The Wright brothers created another life for humanity to achieve further with their beliefs. In time, their thoughts of flight would much further still...

     

     

    Part Three of this entry.

    Our Moon.

     

     

     

    This was my first digital entry back to the moon. I liked this one, if for no other reason, the trees in the foreground.

     

     

    Loved this one! The first time in over 15 years I saw craters. Not too bad for a camera with only 24x zoom, great manual setting ability and a fantastic Slik tripod to hold her steady with a long exposure times. When I uploaded this to my HP, I gasped.

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Blue Moon in overcast skies.

     

     

     

     

    What can any of us say about the moon? Apparently, many are governed by its presence strolling across the astral plains with us.

     

    Part four.

    Walking with Strangers.

     

     

    I walked many paths the last three months. Winding, rising, falling, twists and turns, meeting many a person that stopped to share as well as many on bikes that merely said 'passing left', 'passing right' and the occasionally asshole that hit me. I know how to tumble with impact as decades of skiing taught me this. I always stood to the sides of paved trails. Too bad these morons that struck me had not to same skills as I. Yeppers, they cartwheeled and in two cases, tomahawked as they left their bikes. They blamed me for their striking me. Why? Because I had a camera. I truly believe there is no end to man kinds stupidity.

     

    There are so many areas we can explore, wondrous sights to behold if we'd just get off our asses and take a walk. C'mon, what's left of thoughtful, emotional humanity, and just throw on a pair disposable or water worthy Gators and take an hour in a single month of time and see what I see.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    To the shot below this statement. I know fully well this is neither vibrant nor solid for photography sake, I did enjoy this shot. When i saw it full sized on my HP, I was most contented. I walked this trail on a rainy day and caught another blue hereon that stood most proudly. I covered my Fuji in a Sav-a-Lot bag and hoped for the best. <> I caught a few pathway photos this day of chill and rain.

     

     

     

     

    I have something to say about the photograph below this.

     

    Just take a walk up natures stairway before you. Touch the moss, smell the brisk autumn air caress you, feel the leaves fall upon you. Can you just silence your cellphones for a few moments?

    As babies begin to crawl, learn to walk and eventually run, can all of us just take a few moments from horrendously busy lives to just simply 'be' in the here and now?

     

     

    Authors Note on Photography and what inspires a Hunter.

    Part 2.

     

    There is so much for us to share.

     

    Over the decades, I'd like to believe I shared such wondrous things with my children, my nephew and many others not related by blood/DNA.

    Over the years, especially in the last several, I believe I failed on this. I so crashed and burned helping them almost losing myself in the process.

     

     

    This did not bother me as I did the best I could.

     

    They so cling to phones and text when they could so talk to those mere blocks from them. If not fallen to technology, they seem to be so caught in depths of immediate desperation for feedback that no matter what beauty I can point out, they shut themselves down.

     

    I think via F-book and this blog, perhaps I have some redemption. Globally, I seem to make some infinitesimal sense to others with both with written thoughts and photos.

     

     

    This is the end of part two of Photography and what inspires a Hunter.Part 2.

     

    It is with my hopes you found this something meaningful in your lives.

     

    Take care of you and your corner of the world,

    Mark William Darus

  3. I cannot believe this really happened to me.

    Just over two months since having gone completely digital I was asked for the permission to have one of my photographs used for a book cover.

     

    -Flyingscooter aka Mark William Darus.

     

    Robb and admins: This is not a plug for anything. All i want to do is share my good news with everyone.

  4. I had a chance to photo shoot a horse in movement.

    This, to me, is most amazing.

    I will share my facebook link to this event :

    http://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.3202642284185.105484.1809940336&type=3

     

    and my writing about this via my blog;

     

    http://psychopathyanotherlife.blogspot.com/2012/09/earl-proud-thoroughbred-and-serenity.html

     

    Feel free to friend me on F-Book. I am Mark William Darus on f-book.

     

    TPR: I have followed this site for many years and you never to amaze me!

  5. Hi,

    I find it amazing how writing made me start taking photographs once again. I also find it astonishing how taking pics has fueled my studies and furthered my writing.

    The blog I started just over six months ago has reached over 60 countries. Gotta love the internet!

     

    This entry I devoted to Photography.

    Thank you for reading and maybe checking out my site!

    Mark William Darus aka FLYINGSCOOTER.

     

    http://psychopathyanotherlife.blogspot.com/2012/09/worth-thousand-words-unexpected-marriage.html

  6. I heard some theory on YouTube of all places that got me thinking. It was talking about how humans are the cancer of the Earth. It's true if you think about it from an outside perspective... if you were an alien or something looking at Earth from space, it would be this beautifully balanced mass of blue, green, and white, until you looked over New York City or Tokyo or something. You would stop and go "ew, what's that nasty, smelly, smoky brown mass? That looks like cancer, this planet must be sick!" And it's true, I think humans are the catalyst for the next major change on Earth. I don't think we'll be the end of the Earth. If you look at Earth's history, it is constantly destroying and rebuilding itself every few million or billion years, with meteor showers, ice ages, etc. It's a living organism that evolves and changes even when the organisms within it are wiped out. I think humans are the cancer of the Earth that will act as the catalyst for its next big change. Maybe we'll melt the polar ice caps and drown, and any survivors will die due to the chemicals in the air from the melting permafrost zones, but those new chemicals in the air and the majority of the continents being under water will create a new type of habitat for the next generation of Earth's inhabitants.

     

    Maybe I'm crazy, cynical, and a far-fetched kind of thinker, but it's a fun theory lol.

     

    I have heard this before. Many years when i was in college, i had a Psych Professor that said the same thing. There are plenty of studies out there that indicate Mankinds true destiny is it own self destruction.

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