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Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to be in a relationship to hang out with and have fun with a girl! It seems to work best in high school if you just hang out and let things happen at their own pace. I've always been dodgy about just going up and asking someone out...

 

I've decided it's terrible being the only one of my friends without a girl. Seriously, it's no fun seeing 4 people with their arms around girls and you sitting there off in the distance...

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grrt - I did that till I was 18. Then found one, were together for 7 years, 3 month from getting married, leaves me - find out she was cheating. Move on. Find better girl, get married 2.5 years later. All is well. I used to be pretty depressed in my young teen years because I didn't have anyone. Now I've come to realize it probably saved me from a lot of drama even though I still went through hell and back with my first.

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My goal is to have girls around as friends and get rid of that drama all together... Though nobody ever seems to listen when I tell them they're just gonna get screwed over. I try and keep my distance to keep things simple and friendly, though somebody always seems to jump in ahead of me and screw up my plans of just having a friend around... And I still have to go to hell and back! Stupid hormones... Though someday I'll find something that works.

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I still have yet to figure out why Girls seem to completely ignore or push away from Nice Guys, yet throw themselves at a someonewhat "bad boy" who flirts with about 20 different girls simulatanioisly...and yet they still think this person truly loves them...

 

My goal is to have girls around as friends and get rid of that drama all together... Though nobody ever seems to listen when I tell them they're just gonna get screwed over. I try and keep my distance to keep things simple and friendly, though somebody always seems to jump in ahead of me and screw up my plans of just having a friend around... And I still have to go to hell and back! Stupid hormones... Though someday I'll find something that works.

 

Amen to that! I think in Freshman Year I had more genuine friends who were girls than guys...Although it's evened out my Sophomore year.

 

I find dating causes so much drama that it's just not worth the effort. Our whole "group" has done some really awesome things in the past. Who wants to go to some regular old formal where you have to ask someone? We went Formal Bowling in Semi-Formal Wear! Probably one of the most fun nights ever, and it didn't require you to "have a relationship" with someone. Formal Bowling > Formal

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I have a feeling this was caused by what I said.

 

Anyway, my mom told me a good reason why to wait till college to date. I have known the girls in my grade for forever. I have history as friends with them, so if we went out then broke up, it would probably be the most awkward time for the rest of high school. Plus, there really isn't anything that I could learn from them. There is a possibility that my ex's friends would hate me and would start rumors about me.

 

I would like to date in college because there is the element of surprise from them. I could learn more things about them since this would be the first time we actually get to know each other. There is no history between me and the girl, and that would be the best time. That adds to the whole mystery of getting to know that person. I would also be getting to know someone that could end up being the love of my life. I know that there are several high school sweethearts that get married, but I would rather have a better chance of getting married to someone I met in college.

 

My sister did what I am planning on doing, and she and her boyfriend have been dating for over a year and still going strong.

 

I still have yet to figure out why Girls seem to completely ignore or push away from Nice Guys, yet throw themselves at a someonewhat "bad boy" who flirts with about 20 different girls simulatanioisly...and yet they still think this person truly loves them...

 

I thinks it's because girls are insecure about themselves. They want a guy who speaks his mind and acts tough. These are also the guys that cause relationship abuse and cheats on their girlfriends. Girls just need to realize that a guy who acts like a "bad boy" does not equal to a healthy relationship. They believe girls are expendable and don't realize that they are truly human. Girls think that the person that doesn't get in trouble wouldn't be a better boyfriend than a rebel.

 

/rant

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I still have yet to figure out why Girls seem to completely ignore or push away from Nice Guys, yet throw themselves at a someonewhat "bad boy" who flirts with about 20 different girls simulatanioisly...and yet they still think this person truly loves them...

 

It's because guys who act like jerks tend to have more self confidence. The girl is more likely to go out with the guy who talks to her and acts confident rather than the guy who mumbles and is afraid to approach. Seriously if I would go back and give my high school self some advice, it would be to have more confidence and take more chances. I think I've already said it here before, but who cares if you get broken up with? To those saying that it's better to wait for college, I strongly disagree. Date some in high school so when you get to college you have some idea of what you're doing. Remember you're looking for some a girlfriend, not a wife. If it isn't meant to last then it will end and you'll be that much better for it.

 

Again my standard disclaimer, I was terrible with girls until I got married. The only thing I think I've learned is why I was so bad with them.

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Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to be in a relationship to hang out with and have fun with a girl! It seems to work best in high school if you just hang out and let things happen at their own pace. I've always been dodgy about just going up and asking someone out...

 

I've decided it's terrible being the only one of my friends without a girl. Seriously, it's no fun seeing 4 people with their arms around girls and you sitting there off in the distance...

I'm not going to ask her out right off the bat. I was just planning to either get her phone # or friend request her on facebook. I agree about it sucking to be the only one without a girlfriend. Just seeing SO many guys and their girls just makes me want one even more.

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My explanation that assholes get the girls has mostly been said.. They're outward, and get more attention since they're at the front of the action. Though I think another reason is that once they're with a girl, they don't have any opinions to disagree on, and substitute what the girl wants to hear, and feel no wrong with it. This can really be any guy though. The nice guys seem to get criticized for speaking their minds. Even if they have self confidence, girls hear you disagree on one thing.. and they think you're 'mad at them' and then they hate you... Something along those lines. I'd rather have somebody speak up than stay quiet and be completely whipped about everything. I must agree with Allen in saying that all I've really learned is what not to do haha.

 

God, my dumbass friends seem to just love doing the opposite of what makes me happy... They get with complete whores, one falls in love, the other doesn't even really like her, and vice versa on the girls end. Then I try and explain it's a terrible idea and they are only going to get sucked into a downward spiral which will inevitably end in heartache, and they shoot me down. OK, so you have some temporary happiness. You're forgetting the fact that you've yet again abandoned me for your own gains. And you have the nerve to say I'M the one who's wrong? Isn't friendship a little more important than your shallow women? I'm only really ticked that nobody is listening to me, again. Even though this EXACT same situation happened about a year ago. Glad to see they've learned something.

 

Seriously, keep a close friendship, the second you create the idea of a relationship, you close the doors of a close friendship to soo many people. When you can't even be alone with your friend because somebody else is so heavily concerned and protective about something happening, there is REALLY something wrong.. I love being the bad guy, but it's too bad the bad guy never gets the popular vote.

 

[/megarant]

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One thing I hate when people (these kind of people are not my friends and I will never have anything to do with these people) ask a girl out, go on a date, have sex, break up, and start all over. I knew someone who did that one year and he had a new girlfriend just about every week. It really pisses me off when people do that.

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I'm getting really stressed over this whole thing. She hasn't been here all week and I'm having trouble finding her on facebook. I've been losing sleep, I haven't been eating, and in general I've been just feeling like crap. What's really screwed up is that I've had some disturbing dreams where she has died and I'm getting worried, even though I probably shouldn't be. I was REALLY worried when I saw the flags in front of the school flying at only half-staff. Maybe my body is trying to tell me that I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. I kind of disregarded that theory when my mom suggested it, but I'm starting to reconsider. This is really the first time I've ever been really serious about starting a relationship. I really don't know why I'm feeling like this.

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You just gotta chill out. Things don't go as planned if you're worried about what's going to happen. If you even have a plan at all, chances are you won't act yourself. But you've just gotta try and keep it off your mind as much as possible. It really just makes you paranoid and it's not a good way to go about a relationship!

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You just gotta chill out. Things don't go as planned if you're worried about what's going to happen. If you even have a plan at all, chances are you won't act yourself. But you've just gotta try and keep it off your mind as much as possible. It really just makes you paranoid and it's not a good way to go about a relationship!

Like I don't already know that. It's just really hard because like I said, I have never felt this way about a girl before. And if when I do ask her out, if she says no than I would have been so stressed for nothing, and that would really suck.

Edited by imawesome1124
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Yeah, it seems obvious, though it sometimes helps to hear things from other people, so you don't think you're crazy haha. Really not much you can do but wait it out and keep your mind off it. And relationships don't happen just like that. I wouldn't recommend saying the typical will you go out with me? But just ask to hang and see where it goes... And put out so she knows you want to be more than friends.

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I was able to keep my mind off it for a while, but when I looked in my friend's list of friends and saw that she wasn't on the list, it got me worried again. Why would her account just close at the same time she misses 3 days of school? I really don't know what to make of that. I really hope the "death dreams" and flags halfway up the poles and her account closing is just some freakish coincidence. This is really discouraging me from pursuing a relationship with anyone. I really don't know what to make of it.

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Step 2 is to tell her how I feel about her. Hopefully I won't seem like I'm coming on too strong.

Idk, IMO it's a little early for that. Show her you like her through your actions... like complementing her, asking her on dates, asking her about how her day went and genuinely caring about what she has to say, etc.

Plus, girls often have a 6th sense when it comes to guys that like them, and I think every girl goes through the stage where she's like, "Okay, I think this guy likes me, but do I like him? Maybe I'll just hang out with him and see how it goes..." So I don't think it's necessary to get into a "feelings discussion" quite yet, but rather, just spend time with her and give her time.

 

But I think a general rule of thumb for relationships... just see how it goes, gauge the situation, because there's no such thing as universal advice. I know I'm guilty of trying to over-think things too much instead of just rolling with it.

 

 

On another note.... I'M SO SICK OF SOME GUYS ARGHHHHH!!! One of my close friends is in a situation that's way too familiar. I had to pretty much talk her out of suicide and tell her how great of a person she is and how she deserves so much better because she's in love with him and he completely manipulates her feelings! It's literally an emotional roller coaster! He treats her like complete s**t and tries to control her and make her feel guilty whenever they're in a fight (like it's all HER fault) and then turn around and tell her he loves her and talk about getting married someday and stuff.

It's guys like this that make me lose my already feeble hope in the male population!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Last night, the breakup with my long-distance girlfriend was made 100% official.

 

See, ever since we broke it off two months ago, we've both kept the idea in the back of our minds that it's only temporary, that in a few years, when we grow up and understand our own lives better, we can get back together and be happier than ever.

 

But we've recognized how unhealthy that is, especially when she has a new boyfriend that isn't exactly pleased to find out how close she is to her ex that still has yet to get over her. So she told me last night that we should stop talking for a while, just to ease his nerves and give me a chance to fully move on and learn to live without her playing a huge part in my life.

 

I totally understand the motive behind this, and agree that it's absolutely for the best of all three of the people it affects.. but that doesn't change it from being one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Ashley was the first girl I've loved, and while there's a high possibility it may have just been that young, stupid, "NUBUDY HAZ LUVD LYK USSS!!! <9" thing, it doesn't change the fact that she was so important to me.

 

But there's nothing I can do now, except move on. Here goes nothing.

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^ Good luck! At least it sounds like things were broken off in the best way possible, without any fights, which is always a great thing!

 

I'm kind of in a big predicament. My best friends girlfriend wants to leave him for me, and tried coming on to me this weekend.. Sorta completely clueless...

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^ DON'T DO IT BRO! It will NOT end well.

 

Think of it this way, how would you feel if it was the other way around and you were the one with the girlfriend that you loved and she left you and got with him.

I mean if you're going to go for it, you should come to the realisation that you're most likely going to lose your bestfriend.

Who's more important, this chick or him?

 

Coming to think of it, you should be telling you're bestfriend that his girlfriend is trying to get with you behind his back! She obviously doesnt wanna be with him. I hate girls that do things like that. They're NOT good peoples.

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Well I've dealt with it the other way around.. with him doing it to me.. lots of times. I've survived. And he knows and we're still best friends.. Talked about it and all. It's a closer friendship than most people can probably understand. The circumstances it were brought up under weren't too ideal, and she really isn't trying to create problems, and never has before. She's actually a nice girl, and I'm a good judge of character.

 

The real problem now is that I'm kinda getting screwed over. Though I haven't done anything wrong I'm sorta getting the shaft... as usual. I've sacrificed a ton for my friend, and he's not grateful for it at all.

 

My friend should be asking himself the same thing on who's more important.. It's also high school. And relationships rarely involve love, life still goes on, he's not going to be crushed.

 

Gosh I'm going from confused to bitter..

Edited by grrt
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Dude, you're seventeen. I turn twenty-one in just over a month and I haven't even had a single girlfriend yet. You have plenty of time.

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Well now, I wouldn't say that. I run into old high school buddies all of the time. There are some things that people forget and some things that they don't; it's just human nature.

 

I've experienced plenty of instances where "I get close", but ultimately I prefer to be the "good friend" because it means I can be counted on to be there when it counts; and that's all I care about. I'll have my time.

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