by cfc » Fri Jul 18, 2008 5:52 pm
Chapter 5: Playgrounds and Coasters and Beer, Oh My! Toverland
NOTE FROM CHUCK’S INTERNAL EDITOR: As you may recall from our last episode, Chuck rambled on and on about how eccentric and awesome Bobbejaanland was. Yes, he just wouldn’t shut up about it. No matter how much people begged him. So, he’s promised not to ramble as much about Toverland.
Even though Toverland threw one of the single coolest parties ever, Chuck’s not going to ramble on about it.
Even though it’s another eccentric park, with indoor and outdoor sections crammed full of Greek myth and space aliens and elves and trolls and magic mushrooms and croquettes and beer and implements of death and destruction, he’s not going to ramble on about it.
Even though TPR had two-and-a-half hours of awesome ERT and food and beer, he’s not going to ramble on about it.
Why, he’s not even going to talk about the coasters and how he ranks them, which would’ve looked something like this (were Chuck to do it):
TROY!—He would’ve told how this was his second-favorite woodie of the trip thanks to it’s great mix of awesome laterals, ejector air, insane speed, and Trojan Horse themeing.
Booster Bike—He would’ve told how he liked the ride, but didn’t find it any better than Flamingoland’s version. Then he would’ve asked what was up with the alien-plant themeing.
Boomerang—He would’ve thanked God that this was not an actual Vekoma Boomerang, but an extra-large, indoor Rollerskater with a train theme. He liked it fine.
But he’s not going to say any of that. He’s going to show some rare restraint and just right into the pictures, such as they are.
That is all. Thank you for understanding.
Oh, he is allowed to say this: Thank you Robb, Elissa, and Toverland for the single best night of the entire TPR Europe Tour!
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- Just cross the Three Stooges with Wonderland and Star Wars, then mix in a little Greek myth, and you have Toverland.
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- They gave us lanyards for the ERT session instead of the usual wristbands. Hmm--in retrospect, this may have been a mistake. Or maybe they wanted TPR on a leash.
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- "Oh my God! Please tell me this isn't an actual 'Boomerang'!"
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- Relax, Jeff--it's just a big Rollerskater.
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- And everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
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- "Memo to Toverland Marketing Dept.: Following reports of three accidental hangings, numerous incidents of whipping or flogging, and this apparent accidental nose piercing, we think it is time to rethink the 'lanyard' concept."
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- Toverland really crams a lot of stuff into this building.
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- Is this the ride that launched a thousand ships?
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- "Hi there. I'm the Trojan Horse! I'm a great gift! Well, unless you're a Trojan, and I'm full of Greeks ready to sack and burn your city."
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- You know, if Agamemmon and Priam had had a great ride like this, they would've been having too much fun to fight.
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- OK, let's hear it: TROY!
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- Would Paris have passed up a steamy, passionate night of Helen ERT for Troy ERT?
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- The answer is buried in the sands of time.
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- Let's not forget the Booster Bike, now--if we can get past the man-eating space plant.
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- Yes, Booster Bikes need love, too. More to come.
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