KnoebelsKnoebels is truly a gift from the amusement park gods. In an era where parks are adding more corporate sponsorships, rules, and restraints, Knoebels seems firmly rooted in the past and delivers an experience unmatched by other parks. Most people dread being sent to central Pennsylvania for work. They view it as a death sentence. However, as a coaster enthusiast it brought me within an hour of one of my favorite parks. Nothing like finishing a workday and then driving 1.5 hours through nothing to get to the happiest place east of the Mississippi, Knoebels. Despite having two days at the park, I could have very well spent more without getting bored.

- Few signs so simple can elicit so much joy for coaster enthusiasts.

- The park was empty. Everyone was parked close. Yet Knoebels still had the tram going because they're awesome.
Phoenix is the ride that put Knoebels on the map. Since my last visit Boulder Dash had passed Phoenix on my wooden coaster ranks. Night rides on Boulder Dash are pretty tough to beat, but after my first ride on Phoenix had me smiling ear to ear and laughing onto the brake run, I knew I needed to flip those two back. I can't think of a more rerideable coaster out there that makes you want to run down the exit ramp and back into the queue quite like the Phoenix. Each hill on Phoenix gets better and better with the final bunny hill before the brake run serving as the ultimate crescendo.
Phoenix's strongest asset is the trains. Buzz bars only and no seat belts. That's a recipe for foot off the seat airtime. From the double up onward, each hill is practically guaranteed to send you skyrocketing into the lap bar. It's coaster nirvana. Closely behind the trains is just how well Knoebels maintains their award-winning woody. Even in a wheel seat, I can't think of a single rough spot on the coaster. Honestly it wouldn't shock me if they ran out of spots to retrack that they someday retrack the tunnel or brake run. They take that good care of the coaster! Meanwhile Six Flags is barely willing to do as much as replace a wooden bench in their parks. Despite only running one train, their 20 second dispatches (yes you read that right) kept the line flying. The front is the best seat, but really any seat on this classic is a surefire
10 out of 10.

- The crown jewel of Knoebels fittingly has a crown atop the lift hill.

- Amazing airtime on every hill.

- Every...single...hill. It's pure bliss.

- It even has chaser lights. Phoenix truly is perfection.
In my prior visits, I always found Twister a fun 7/10 type of ride. In this visit I finally got Twister. While Phoenix focuses entirely on airtime, Twister is more about (as the name suggests) twists and turns. The primary reason I haven't liked Twister too much in past visits was that it was somewhat bumpy. In this visit, Twister was riding glass smooth which allowed me to fully appreciate the ride's brilliance. The ride's layout is really unique. The double helix provides strong laterals and Twister maintains its speed whole way through. While not an airtime monster, Twister isn't too shabby in that area either. The first turnaround gives a pop of ejector air rivaling its brother across the park and the final few hills provide great air as well. The ride also has a very wild and well-placed tunnel.
While Twister is great during the day, it really comes alive at night. Because its located in a pretty secluded area of the park, the entire layout is almost in entirely engulfed in darkness. This results in one of the most out-of-control coaster rides out there. My favorite seat by far is the front because of the great air during the finale and the rush of the wind during the helices and turns. While I prefer coasters focused on airtime, I can still appreciate a great twister like this.
9 out of 10

- I finally got Twister in this visit.

- The great layout and sustained speed make this an excellent sidekick to Phoenix.
Knoebels also has a third woody, one that many critics and armchair engineers on this site said could never be built. It took years. Many had given up on the ride (honestly I had as well), but finally the Flying Turns took flight. It's a fun coaster, but it's only a once-per-visit kind of ride. That's partly due to the ride and mostly because of the ride's low capacity causing 30-45 minute waits. I lucked out that I only had a 15 minute wait. The portion after the first lift is relatively uneventful but the section after the second lift is where the ride shines. There are a few really nice turns with good movement.
7 out of 10

- I'm in that group. Not ashamed to admit it.

- Flying Turns is fun. I just wish the line wasn't as long.

- It's nearly impossible to photograph the turns since the layout crosses over itself so many times.
Black Diamond is another Knoebels reclamation project gone well. While technically a coaster, Black Diamond is more of a dark ride. Actually it's almost entirely a dark ride. There are two drops that are pretty weak, but the trains seem out of control for the short straightaways afterwards thanks to how narrow the ride's passageways are. The ride is pretty dark so some sections are hard to see, but the ride has a large amount of practical sets. My favorite element by far is the vertigo wheel. While a simple effect, it always gets me on any ride.
6.5 out of 10

- Tamer than a ski slope and more of a dark ride than a coaster, Black Diamond is another cool classic the park saved.
It's still weird for me seeing a modern steel coaster at Knoebels, but Impulse is a welcome addition. The lap bar only trains are a godsend. The first drop gives great ejector air and despite the ride's compactness, it really crams a lot of elements in. I particularly love the inline twist's hangtime and the helices. Unfortunately, it is a bit rattly between elements but never does it get rough. I'd still take Hydrus over Impulse, but it's a great change of pace from the woodies.
7.5 out of 10

- Still can't get over how weird it is to see a large steel coaster at this park.

- Those riders are likely not in their seat.

- Impulse isn't short on elements, that's for sure.

- I love the neon sign at night!
Knoebels has the best flat ride lineup of any park. The park seamlessly weaves in classics along with modern thrillers. Pretty much every ride in the park is amazing. Most of them are run insanely long or insanely fast. Then there are the truly special ones that do both.

- This shot embodies Knoebels. You have a rare classic in the Satellite with the modern Impulse.

- Hey this ride is open! Last year it was disassembled during my visit.

- I still wish Canobie had their Paratrooper.

- This is about the only flat at Knoebels that isn't best in class. And this "bad" flat is merely average.

- This is no ordinary kids slide. You absolutely haul down this thing.

- One of my favorite flat rides. Very disorienting.

- I much prefer the frisbees with the outward seating.
Flyer is one of those special rides. Flying Scooters are typically a mundane family ride. At Knoebels, these are the most terrifying attraction in the park. If there's a park that runs their flyers as fast, please let me know. The rate at which Knoebels runs the Flyer at allows for snapping unmatched by any other flyer. I had one op who slowed the ride down if people were snapping the Flyer too much, but thankfully I ran into a different operator the second day who didn't care and let us run wild. There's nothing like hurtling towards a tree with the unnaturally segmented acceleration from a flyer when they snap. Snapping these flyers is so addicting and a few who saw me doing it were interested to know how I was going so high.
10 out of 10

- They look so innocent now, but when running the Flyers are anything but.
Closely behind the Flyer for the park's most terrifying ride is non other than a Larson/ARM drop tower. Stratosfear is my favorite one out there. The views high above the treeline at Knoebels are fantastic and the drop is even more epic than usual on this one. I was ejected out of my seat for the entire duration of the drop only to slam back down when the brakes engaged only mere feet above the ground. The ride also had an awesome, sassy operator who was spraying guests with water guns when they playfully sassed back to her.
10 out of 10

- Of course Knoebels has a Larson/ARM tower. And yes it's bonkers as always.

- Well I'd say Stratosfear is turned on. It has a great lighting package and also seriously looks like a dick.
I hope you aren't sick of seeing 10 out of 10s. The park also has the best carousel around. The Grand Carousel is true candy to both the eyes and ears with the classic horses and booming band organ. But the true reason for this 10 is going for the brass ring. Usually I skip carousels. They look great but they often are boring and uneventful for me. But not when you give me the challenge of grabbing a 1 inch diameter ring. It seems so simple but it's ridiculously fun.
10 out of 10

- Santa Cruz is close, but Knoebels still has the best carousel anywhere.
Even the bumper cars are best of their class. Fast, hard-hitting cars. Check. Long cycle. Check. The Lusse scooters are beautiful and each hit really packs a wallop.
10 out of 10Unfortunately I saw a few obnoxious teens during my ride who thought it would be funny to drive in the opposite direction and create head-on collisions with the elderly and young children. The operator immediately saw this and stopped the ride. Instead of waiting for the cars to come to a complete stop, the teens ran out with their arms in the air like they just won an Olympic medal, grabbed their bags, and hopped the fence like a gazelle. The operator told them to never come back. I'm glad he stopped the ride. I enjoy a good collision, but what they were doing was just reckless. I saw those idiots around the park later with a toy billiards set they presumably won at Fascination and they were running up behind people screaming "Billiards" to frighten them. The only downside about Knoebels having open borders is that there was no easy way to keep them out.

- These bumper cars are better than 3/4 of the coasters out there.

- Nothing like a bone-jarring hit in cars that run these fast and hit this hard.
Knoebels never stops adding. During my visit I saw the pad back by Fandango where they planned to install their newest ride, Over the Top, which is one of those SBF Wave Riders. I was hoping the ride would be ready to go for my visit after just barely missing the one down in Pigeon Forge, but I wasn't so lucky since they hadn't gone vertical on the ride yet. No problem, something to look forward in the inevitable return visit.

- And less than 2-3 weeks later, Over the Top was assembled in this spot.
It's not just the flats and coasters that are awesome at Knoebels (really everything is if you haven't gotten the message yet). Their Flume is also one of the best around. The ride has a great setting through the woods and two fantastic drops.
10 out of 10

- One of the best lfumes anywhere. Great drops and a great setting.

- An acceptable amount of wetness.

- An unacceptable amount of wetness.
Haunted Mansion isn't as much scary for me as it is impressive. All of the gags are very well maintained and well placed. The ride is a multisensory and psychological experience as several gags combine visual and audio thrillers, and then there are a few tactile thrillers that are really unnerving for first time riders.
10 out of 10

- I have an even fonder appreciation of this ride after getting the walkback tour last year.
Food is a major part of any visit to Knoebels. Over two days, I had Cesari's pizza, pierogies, steak fries, a burrito, a pretzel, and a fried chicken sandwich. The pretzel was disappointingly a standard super pretzel and the burrito was just ok, but everything else was top notch. I particularly loved the fries and fried chicken sandwich.

- Hmmm do I get food from Mexico or the US? No wall to be seen here.

- This hulking fried chicken sandwich was probably my favorite item there. Simple but oh so good.
There really isn't any other park like Knoebels. In some ways, that's a good thing since it makes every visit to the park that much more special.