Many of us on this site have encountered a Flowrider before. You all know what I'm talking about. That innocent-looking wave machine that lets you boogie-board your heart out and occasionally wipe out while all of your friends watch and point and laugh. Wiping out is fun on these things, though! They're not particularly painful and you always get right back up laughing about it, right?
There are places in this world, evil places, that allow, no, ENCOURAGE you to learn how to surf on a Flowrider. And I don't mean surf like body-surf. I mean full on stand up surf. And they do this to people who have never touched a surfboard before. This almost always results in what I like to call, "the moment of clarity," which occurs when one's head is about 0.5 centimeters from the base surface of the Flowrider, where that little voice goes, "Um, yeah, probably wasn't the best idea, buddy."
If you ever find yourself in the position to learn how to surf on a Flowrider, please heed my warning and opt out. Instead take your business to a beach with small waves or go to Typhoon Lagoon and get surf lessons in their very deep wavepool. You don't want to end up with a "moment of clarity."
Thank you for your time.
- The moment of clarity.